I am writing this post first – I will likely “backfill” with my experiences of the day, links to videos, photographs, and the like. But for me, this was the most important bit to get down while still at least somewhat “fresh.”

Ohio River bridge at swim end

I started on my Ironman Journey 10 months ago (as is obvious if you scroll back in this blog). I was a Couch Potato of quite epic sedentary proportions. I hadn’t worked out in 3 years. But one of my beliefs is that if you have something that you have really SWORN to yourself that you will do in your life, and you have not done it, then that adds an enormous amount of (often unconscious) Stress in your life until you “release” it…or do it.

In the late 80s (when I was in my early 20s), I was an (Olympic-distance) triathlete. I wasn’t particularly good – sort of back/middle of the pack. But one evening, over a few beers and leafing through the newly-launched Triathlete magazine, I told a group of girls I ran with that I wanted to do The Ironman (there was only one then) before I turned 50. Their reaction was basically to hoot with laughter; there was “no way” that someone “like me” could do such a thing.

Which, of course, got me into serious “I’ll show THEM!” mode!

Maria, Paula and me

Flash forward, and I’m 47, dealing with a lot of Stress, a couch potato, dozens of pounds overweight, and at a Tony Robbins Unleash The Power Within long weekend (the firewalk was the easiest thing we did). During the portion of the weekend that deals with Health I uncovered this long-forgotten memory.  I tried to release the memory – no dice. So I realized I would have to “realize” it. Crap.

If you want to know more about the journey, well, page back in this blog. It was quite the journey, that’s for sure, ending of course with a spectacular bike crash 2 weeks out from the actual 2010 Ironman in Louisville.

me and the Belle of Louisville

As a Life Coach, I teach my clients how to break an “impossible” goal into actionable steps. I also teach that having part of the goal tied to benefiting others will springboard your dream into reality far, far quicker. So, I trained for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society – and in my first time ever raising money, raised over $9,300 to cure cancer. In turn, everyone that HAS leukemia, lymphoma, and the like is praying for a cure – and therefore, praying for ME. If you make sure your goal has a specific component that will benefit others from the beginning, you will become the “answer to prayers.” There is no better way to PULL your own goals into reality.

But back to the Ironman.

My friend and IronTeammate Maria found a quote that I adopted early on – Your Ironman Event is really just a 140.6 mile Victory Lap celebrating the Journey that it took to get there. Whether you finish the race in time, or wind up outside of your imagined goals, you were prepared on that day to do your best IF you did every thing that was in your scheduled training. If you did not do everything in the Plan and didn’t make it, then that’s your choice – but you can’t class yourself with others who did it all and fell a bit short. I personally believed that I could finish the Event in about 15-16 hours – but there were some unanticipated moments along the way (including a bike crash, a heat index of 110 degrees, and belatedly finding out that Louisville is considered one of the Top 10 hardest bike courses on the circuit!). I wound up finishing at 16:58:51 – or, in other words, I crossed the finish line with 1 minute, 9 seconds to “spare.”

As a microcosm of all I learned throughout the entire Journey, from the time I entered Louisville until I left, these are my lessons from Ironman Louisville 2010.

Plan, Plan, Plan. Maria and I had done a lot of studying, investigating, and talking about various Ironman “strategies” and plans – from those our coaches promulgated, to those we found online. When we found information, our strategy was to Trust, but Verify. By the time we got on the plane to Louisville, we each had checklists, strategic plans, and the like that made us feel very comfortable. However, at the North Bay team dinner the Friday 2 days before

gear bags, before stuffing

the event, folks tried to make us feel like we were being “manic” in our preparation, and that we were “making the other team members freak out” and “didn’t know where the information we were treating as Gospel had really come from.” We were carrying electrolyte drinks with us unlike any of the others, we had practiced for a week getting out of the shower, dumping a bag of our bike clothes on the floor and getting into them wet, etc. This is what we needed to feel prepared. And we got “guff” for it. Perhaps they were trying to make us feel “better” by saying that we should not “listen to others” who “might not know what they were doing” (e.g., sift through race reports, etc. on the internet) – but in fact, we knew exactly what we were doing. Make sure that you plan, read, review, analyze, and discuss with a trusted compatriot  or coach your strategies for success – and don’t let anyone naysay you later. If you have done a lot more than others have done they will call you “manic” or “anal.” Don’t listen. Cover all the bases. “Luck” is what happens when you have planned for every contingency – and have Plans B, C and D in the bag…and a Plan E when the bag splits open!

bikes and gear bags after stuffing

Accept Help Along The Way.

The awesome L.A. Team in Training team helped us secure a great swim start spot; my Dad and friends became my “IronMinions” for the Event, etc. Whatever your goal is – don’t do it alone. And for goodness’ sake, don’t be a martyr. Figure out how to let others help you in a way that will make you both feel great. When the L.A. Team was coming in on their 2^nd loop on the Run (and I was going out on my first), their energy and “Go Team” shouts at me propelled me forward like nothing else – which I believe I helped ”instigate” by mentioning – in an all-team pre-race lunch – that I hoped when they passed me on the course, they would shout out my nickname.

On the “Helping” note, there were 2,900 athletes in the Ironman (1300 newbies), and over 5,000 Volunteers. They are there to serve you. Use them. But treat them with the respect that they deserve. A kind word, a huge smile, and asking someone’s name will go a very, very long way towards getting what you need. Personally, I was wearing a Camelbak, so a volunteer would need to mix up a “potion” for me, pour it into the Camelbak, fill it with water, put ice in my helmet (more on that later) and so on. By stopping,

Dad and Susan Afan at 430 am

pointing to a specific volunteer, and then asking his or her name, I actually know I made their day (I’ve been that volunteer), and they made mine. Don’t go it alone. Use the resources. Be sure you know specifically what you need (based on your plans and previous test-runs), accept it graciously, and get going. If you didn’t plan, or didn’t do all the workouts, or don’t use the resources available, gut check: Are you just being a victim or a martyr so you can “complain” about how “hard” things were?

Help Others, But Only with No Regrets. Help Yourself, But Don’t Dawdle. Would I have been less “Iron” had I crossed at 17:00:01? No. I did every workout, planned, and then worked that plan. That just means I’d shot the arrow and missed the mark – that day. “Stuff Happens.” But would I call myself an “Ironman” or get the tattoo? No again. Maybe it’s because I’m just a hard-*ssed attorney at heart, but you ain’t if you ain’t. You can say you did the distance, but if you didn’t do a sanctioned race in the time, calling yourself an “Ironman” cheapens it for us who dug deep and did it. Fine, hate me. But that’s what I believe.

Will at 130 am PST ready to support me all day with good energy

My friend Will made me look in his eyes before I left, because he had many regrets with respect to HIS Ironman Event experience. He doesn’t call himself an “Ironman,” because he did the distance but was 13 minutes over the finish time after helping 3 people with bike problems and the like. When I was leaving, he made me PROMISE that every time I did anything on Race day, I would do it with No Regrets. So had I indeed finished outside the “allotted time,” I absolutely knew that I had raced my race with No Regrets. I remembered that admonition each and every time I did something that caused me to stop.

• I stopped at about Mile 5, because a guy was broken down on the side of the road and when I asked if he was OK, he said “oh yeah, you don’t happen to have a TIRE do you?” I said No, then realized that YES, I did – last thing H folded and stuffed into my Camelbak was my ($50) training tire. I wasn’t able to stop immediately, but about 2 blocks later at a police car I was. I had one of the police get the tire out of the Camelbak, and run it back to the guy on the road. Hope he got it. No Regrets.
• A few miles later, I passed my TNT Teammate Maria, and wished her well and commented that she had ROCKED the swim! I don’t hear very well, and as I passed she was saying something but I just filled it in as her wishing me luck as I had wished her luck. But I kept hearing my name, as I went down the road. That had to mean she needed help. I checked my No Regrets meter, and knew that I wanted to stop and help. She had a problem with her tire. I could see it, and where it
  

  Leann spraying me with sunscreen SPF 10,000

  was rubbing – it looked like the tire was sort of “misshapen” but I couldn’t see how to fix it and it actually looked like the tire was otherwise OK. So after a few minutes of us tinkering with it, she rode on. (You’ll have to go to her blog to see the end result of this story!)

• On the back side of the bike ride, a guy was lying on the ground, seizing up with cramps. It was Carnage out there, and that is a fact (Teammate Paula saw a guy, clipped in, faint dead away and hit the dirt. All of us saw people spread-eagled prostrate in the heat with their bikes flung in the grass). I asked if he was okay, and he shook his head and was saying “Salt? Salt?” So I reached into my Bento Box, and threw him my whole container of Thermalytes. I had planned for this very thing – I had other packages “just in case” in other bags – and I was doing great on the Infinit drink in any case (NOTE: Did the entire race on only Infinit, even with the heat index, etc. MAGIC!)
• A couple of times, I could feel myself get lightheaded on the bike and my heart rate would drop. My back and shoulder (old crash) and elbow (new crash) also hurt. So I would ride to a shady spot, and stand up and stretch. Each of these moments was “no more than a minute or so” – but remember how close I was to the cutoff at the end. Each time, I remembered Will’s “No Regrets” admonition – so I did that gut check, and knew that the stretch was important for me to keep myself functioning well in the moment. But I did it, and got a move on. No dawdling.

balloons rising over the bike transition

Expect the Unexpected…and When It Happens, Assess, Reorganize, Keep Your Sense Of Humor, Then Get Going, and Leave It Behind.

• About 10 strokes into the swim start, I stroked forward and “pulled” a branch underneath me. I could feel the kkkrrrrrrrr! of it going down the front of my body. Luckily, it didn’t have a lot of twigs, and it rolled off my toes (and into the next guy!)  I have a “helpfulness gene” and in that moment I wanted to somehow say to the guy behind me “Watch Out!” but there really wasn’t any way to do that. And that was NOT supposed to be my concern. If you find yourself “warning” a lot of people about the “pitfalls” that you have experienced, then mainly you are wasting your own time and putting energy into that memory. Don’t THROW branches in front of others – but if it happens to you, krrrrr! and move on!
• It’s amazing how many people swam right in front of me, zig-zagging across the channel. I was immensely grateful for Coach Sedonia and all the practice we had had with sighting (and, in fact, having had to teach my friend Jane how to
  

  heading out of T1 slathered in more sunscreen

  sight, which helped me to break it down and really internalize it). One guy swam at a 45 degree angle in front of my face, making me actually stop so as not to run into the side of his calf. I watched him as he blithely continued in front of all of us “straight swimmers,” and just had to shake my head. He undoubtedly did an extra mile or so that we didn’t! Figure out the shortest distance between yourself and your goal – practice, practice, practice – then execute. If someone cuts you off, tell yourself it’s not personal, and move on.

• 20 or so minutes into the swim, I was taking a breath to the side,  just as a big guy was swimming past/over me. This is how it goes in the Ironman – 3,000 people in a small space, you’re going to get knocked around. I was prepared for it in the way I was swimming, but his elbow came down on the bridge of my nose. Just bad timing. It hurt like heck, and my left goggle filled up with water. I was very concerned that he had cracked the plastic – which would mean I would need to swim with my eye closed (contacts!) for the next 2 miles. As you likely know, only using one eye means you have no depth perception. I took the goggles off, emptied them, and tentatively put  them back on, with the salmon swimmers swarming on and around me up the river. Turns out he had only broken the seal around my eye – not the goggles.
  

  Missy and me

  However,  I then realized there was blood in the water in front of me – FROM me. My nose was gushing blood. It didn’t feel broken and anyway, I had to keep swimming to get to help, one way or the other. My humorous side immediately whispered, “Wow, it’s a good thing you’re here instead of swimming from Alcatraz with the sharks.” That made me laugh, and within a few minutes, I had forgotten all about the bash. Reaching your goal is often a contact sport. Get out there, protect yourself as best you can, but if you get bashed, get bashed – and get over it.

• When I came in from the bike to transition to the run, I peeled off my socks and realized that 8 plus hours of dumping water and ice on my head had all run into my shoes – and I had a giant chafe at the cuff of one sock, and a SEVERE case of foot waterlog. As in – I could see my toe bones, and my whitish-yellow skin and flesh were just hanging off them. This was completely and utterly unanticipated. (And gross.) Getting my dry Injinji compression socks on for the run was a 20 minute process. Amazingly,  I did it, with a few tears and the stellar help of my Transition Slave (smile). Though when I stood up to head out of the tent she said, “Ma’am? We generally don’ go out in public that way here in Kentucky…” – and I realized I hadn’t put my running shorts on and was naked from shirt to socks. Whoops!
• After the super-long T2 (25 minutes) I knew I was going to have trouble making it in on time. I was “set” to do run/walk intervals, but I wound up having to run the entire marathon without walking (and actually “negative split” the final
  

  me horning in on Maria's prom photo with the Colonel (joke! joke!)

  section). Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Listen To Your Gut.

• I had a crash on the bike course. Yes, that’s me, Crashy McCrash. There was an “out and back” portion that’s turn-around was a hairpin left U turn on a very skinny road. When I saw it, I felt in my gut that it was beyond my bike handling skills. But then I “went for it.” And crashed. And nearly took down a bunch of other racers. When I was coming down to that turn-around, what I SHOULD have done is figured how to stop or “run long” past the orange cone, get off the bike, turn it around “manually” and then get back in the race. Instead, my ego kicked in…and because I didn’t want to be “embarrassed” by my less than stellar bike skills, I wound up with the derailleur ticking oddly and my left brake/shift lever bent completely sideways (wasn’t until Mile 80 I actually even SAW a tech person to help me fix it – she had to use a mallet it was so stuck). The sideways lever meant I ended the race with a huge blister between my left  thumb and forefinger, and a numb ring and pinkie finger (which did not come “awake” until my masseuse “popped” my elbow days later back home).
• Later on, in the 110 degree heat/humidity and while watching folks try to take hills, fall over, and take down other riders, I found two hills that I could only make if I really “powered” up them…or I could walk them. As we did the loop twice, that meant walking those 2 hills, twice. When I did my Gut Check, I realized that the extra time walking the hills was likely to be a better choice than
  

  Maria and me showing off our ankle tracking chips

  “powering” up them and draining precious energy I would need later. That’s when Run Coach Simon’s voice (a bit belatedly, considering my crash!) came to me. He had said, “When you get your Ironman ticket, be sure to coat check your Ego. You can pick it up with your Medal.” I walked up the hills, watched guys powering by me, felt a little stupid and embarrassed…and then passed them splayed out in the grass about 50 miles later. Go at your own speed, not someone else’s – don’t worry about what People Will Think – and keep your eyes on the longterm Prize.

• All along (except on the worst of the hills) I kept my heart rate between 142-152. That is my personal “zone” for pre-aerobic and aerobic. It is the zone in which I can utilize my own body fat as fuel. I was told to “race my own race,” and even when folks were flying by me, I just paid attention to that doggone Heart Rate Monitor. If I went over 152, I slowed down. If I went under 142, I sped up. I am quite sure that this kept me from becoming the “Carnage” that was rampant on the bike course (they had to pull in ambulances and EMTs from 2 surrounding counties – and ran out of IVs in the med tent).

When You Quit, Quit. Have Your Tantrum. Then Get Going Again. I quit at Mile 30 of the bike course. Really, really quit. I was done. The swim had been quite enervating because the water was so warm, and then the bike was brutally hot. I saw the sign at Mile 30, stopped, and if there had been a SAG wagon there, I would have put my bike in it, dusted my hands, and said, “Enough.” But there was NOT a SAG wagon, so I sucked it up and made it to the next bike aid station (where I thought I might find SAG). At that station, I got the bright idea of putting ice in my helmet. It was SO COLD…but after about 20 seconds, my mind cleared. I realized that my body felt completely fine…and I also realized with a start that my mind, which was cooking, was just trying to Siren Song me into getting out of the heat. Sometimes your own brain is your

Ironteam L.A. South Bay and North Bay sitting in the swim line

worst enemy. When this happens, say “Thank you, I respect your Opinion, I’m going to do something else though.” Believe it or not, this usually makes it shut up. Of course – ice in the helmet helps, too.

Ultimately, You Can Only Rely On Yourself. The run was an out-and back loop twice. Our coach told us he would be standing at one particular spot – Mile 5 or so on the way out, which became Mile 18 on the 2^nd loop. I was running late (obviously) and so when I passed him the first time, I wanted all the particulars. How far was it to the end of the loop? How far was the turn-around after that? How fast did I have to go, to get to the midway cutoff? And was that cutoff at 9:00 p.m., or 9:15, or 9:30, or 9:45? He knew none of these answers. He knew the pace I would need to hold to get to the END on time, but none of the in-between answers (and remember – I’m just at mile FIVE of 26.2). This was the only time in the race I was really FURIOUS. It was my understanding that, as a coach, these are the sorts of things (especially if standing in one spot, and not going out on the bike or running around on the run) that should be at the fingertips. I finally ran past Teammate Paula, who knew all the answers. (She also had the amazingly great idea of setting an alarm an hour before all cutoffs on the bike/run course – so that you KNEW you were coming up to the “bell” – I just didn’t actually KNOW what that time was on the run midway point, so hadn’t been able to set that all-important alarm.) I was angry, but in reality, it was anger at myself for not having committed the important stuff to memory.

Fourth Street Live

Be An Inspiration.

The first time I came into town during the marathon (the Ironman ends at Fourth Street Live, a covered bar/restaurant/etc. district in the heart of town, but you run past it to go out on your 2nd loop), the crowd cheered, because they thought I was finishing. Instead, I held up my finger to indicate “1” (that it was my first loop) and amazingly, they got deathly quiet and “respectful.” I heard someone say “My lord, she’s still going out. What an inspiration.” As I continued on, and was going back out as our Team athletes were coming in to finish, I kept hearing that shouted again and again. It made me feel good, as I had sent myself a card earlier that week that said just that – “I Am an Inspiration to Others.” I had a number of choices when picking that card (“I Am Physically Fit,” etc.) but that is the one that spoke to me with respect to my Ironman.

As a corollary to this, I would run past spectators when I was still trying to find out how far and fast I had to move to make the 1/2 way cutoff, and they would invariably say “you’re nearly there” or “”it’s right around the corner” or “you’re totally going to make it.” I know that they thought this would spur me on…but what it did was insidiously make me think it was okay to slow down. Don’t listen to random bits of advice and “wisdom” you might receive on the way to your goal – often the people who sound the most sure of themselves are just dead wrong. My mistake: Not having the run course and its particulars committed to memory. Plan, plan, plan. My bad.

On my final “leg” of the marathon course, I started running with Fireman Steve from Louisville (a/k/a Pukin’ Steve – sorry Steve!) He was having an AWFUL time. He would run (far faster than I could), but then start puking his guts out. Then he would walk, try some new concoction from an aid station, run, and puke. I just kept going along at my turtle pace, and so with his leap-frogging and my trudging along, we were together for miles. He was hurting. Bad. Crying. To take his mind off it (I actually

piles of transition bags

felt great…I just couldn’t move any faster), I chatted with him and sometimes just “at” him…about Louisville, San Francisco, the Ironman (this was I think his 3^rd in Louisville), his wife Kathy (who had finished the race, and he was afraid was probably worried sick about him), nutrition, etc. He kept telling me what an inspiration my attitude was, especially on my first Ironman, in such hellish conditions. I was just as glad he was there, on that muggy nasty march towards the finish.

When we got about a mile out, he started throwing up so hard, he was yelling. I felt awful, but I kept going because I knew that we were close – he had been calculating the math the whole time, and pulling me with him to go faster and faster (see splits, below) – and so I went for it.  I also knew he’d kick my *ss if I didn’t make it because I stopped to help him. If those that have been with you on your journey to your goal fall to the wayside, keep going.

(By the way – Pukin’ Steve made it in under the wire!)

at Mile 20 of the Marathon

Memories I Won’t Soon Forget, and Thank Yous Thank Yous Thank Yous:

1.             On the bike, alone (so I thought) in the middle of beautiful-horse-country-Kentucky-bluegrass nowhere, I heard a woman say “Pardon Me!” from behind me. This took me COMPLETELY by surprise, so I said “Um, may I help you?” She chuckled and said, “Actually, I just belched so loud, I thought you had heard me, so I excused myself.” I laughed and said, “I thought we were in the middle of one of those old Grey Poupon ads!” When she cycled past me, she held out her palm to my Bento Box and said, “Pardon me, Madam, but may I borrow your Grey Poupon?” I laughed, saying, “STOP IT my bike handling skills are so bad we’re both liable to crash here in the middle of a level road!” She sped on by, both of us grinning. (You’re only going to get this if you were watching American TV commercials about 15 years ago.)

2.            When I crashed on the turn around, I went down on my elbow (which of course bled like a stuck pig) but reached out immediately to grab my bike out of the way of the other cyclists coming around the hairpin. Four guys with disk wheels and aero helmets stopped and helped me up, dusted me off, made sure I spun my wheel, and checked I was OK. I was very choked up by this concern. (They were probably just incredibly grateful I hadn’t taken them out with my antics, but still!)

I was looking at my medal in bed after my ice bath and...zzzzzzzz. Too funny.

3.            While out on the bike, I kept seeing (and being run into by!) purple butterflies. My grrl Leann had just gotten a tattoo with purple butterflies on it. Each time I saw them, I figured she was sending her love and concern to me.

4.           I finally got to meet my “Tennessee Teammate” Missy – she recognized me right in the middle of the street on Friday. As she was walking towards me, I thought, “I know that girl. Who is it?” And as soon as she spoke, I knew. It was so fantastic to be with her and her friends and energy. Love ya, Missy!

5.            Mr Speedbump: A participant on the run wouldn’t let people “touch him” to help him (and potentially get DQ’d), so he was lying perpendicular to the run course, and the EMTs were packing him in ice. Scary.

6.            Hearing the word “Carnage” about once every 30 seconds, when athletes were talking about their experiences on that day and the next.

7.            The guy who blew a tube about a mile from the end of the bike pulling off his shoes to obviously just run the bike in.

8.            A guy driving past in his truck with his wife on Monday when we were heading to the Athlete Lunch, who yelled “SAN FRANCISCO!” out of the window, to which I whooped, “PUKIN’ STEVE!” (and watched his wife’s head rock back with laughter). I was so grateful we were actually able to catch up and exchange info. His wife took me aside and said that I’d saved his life. I

my Day After breakfast - carbs, anyone?

told her HE had saved MY life too – since he was the one who could do the math to get us home in time!

9.            L.A. Team Coach Paul putting his face right into my face on the last corner before the “run in” on the marathon, and screaming “RUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!!!!” The memory still makes me laugh.

10.            Mark, Efron, Carlos 2, Dr. Chris & his wife, Jennifer (?I think?), Paula, Heather, Kristin, Louis, and all the others who literally crossed over on the run course to give me hugs or High 5 me or make SURE I saw them when they shouted GO TEAM at me…as they were coming in on the finish and I was going out on my last 13.1 miles.

11.          All the planning with my Teammate Maria. Packing our bags, getting manic, herding cats. It was the best. And a special thank you to Maria, Leann, and the Afans for taking all the photographs. Can’t believe I forgot my camera.

12.          To all the “service providers” who kept me going, especially after the bike crash 2 weeks out – Kristina Lentz, Dr. K, Dr. Merritt, and in particular April Blake. If you haven’t tried Indigo biofeedback, you really must. I am fairly certain it’s what kept my attitude from tanking all day long.

13.           My personal IronMinions, Maria, Helen, and especially Leann, Francine, and Dad. You guys were the BEST. Also to Athlete Maria’s IronFamily, Albert, Susan, and Albie (al-BIE!!) who did everything we asked of them and more. Especially to Albie, who ran up and down and up and down that doggone run course trying to be sure that we were all OK.

14.          To my 76-year-old dad, who had planned to “run me in” at the very last 1/10^th of a mile before the finisher’s chute, and panicked me that they would DQ me for having a “pacer.” I think that he left skid marks on the street when he rocked back on his heels to stop running with me. My horror turned into peals of laughter at the ludicrousness (ludicrosity?) of the whole scene about 2 minutes later – AFTER I had crossed the finish line.

15.          Another special shout-out to Dad and Leann: In particular, I explained to Leann I HAD TO finish my Recovery/Repair drink in the first 20 minutes after finishing, and she quietly handed it to me, pushed my hand to my mouth, handed it BACK to me, and the like until I was done. Nothing like feeding a 3 year old, naw. And to Dad patiently going back and forth from our hotel room with the waste basket to the ice machine to fill it with ice, and bring it back to Leann who first lowered me into the tub, then dumped the ice in on me for the ice bath, back and forth, back and forth. (The next day, I was a little sore, but not bad: Other athletes were walking around hunched over, unable to put their heels on the ground due to cramped calves, etc.) And Dad and Leann getting Teammate Paula’s and my bike and gear bags before midnight, so that they could get to TriBike Transport on time (while I was still out on the course, and Paula was getting an IV in the Med Tent!)

16.          To my amazing coaches, donors, honorees and friends, especially those who gathered on Facebook. I drew on you all when times were Grim. One of the best things ever was reading all the Facebook posts the next day – especially friends from all over the world trying to help others, when the ironman.com athlete tracker went down, etc. LOVE YOU. To Becca’s sister-in-law Laura, who came out to the Marathon course to cheer me on – and introduce herself! You are so brave to have given me a hug in my nasty sweaty condition when you saw me at Mile 16! To Will: No Regrets. To Patricia: At about Mile 90, there was a gorgeous scene of horses, foals, big house, bluegrass…all sort of odd-looking through the cooking waves shimmering off the black tarmac. I actually shouted “Look! Patricia!” just to make myself feel better and remember that this was, in fact, beautiful and, even more importantly, my own Choice. To The Bateman Family, who sponsored the last few dark, quiet, awful miles of the run a couple days before the race – my lord, I was calling on you out there! And to the SOC Marketing Team for designing and printing the posters that my Grandboys Caleb and Cody designed!

Sgt Maj Dale Hatten

17.          And especially, to Angels: Sgt Maj Dale Hatten who surprised me in my head about 6 miles from the end of the godforsaken marathon. This is a man that did a ton of tours in ‘Nam and “got his men home” – he absolutely got me home. Thanks, Dad-2. To my Angel Manta, who I had “spread its wings” under me after getting bashed, and who remarkably kept me completely clear of any more bashes for the rest of the swim. And to K’s Uncle Chris, a Sports Illustrated-featured cross country runner when he died of leukemia, for appearing at mile 12 and stretching my legs a bit more so I made the cutoff at 13.1.

18.         To the Sponges. And the nascent cocktail, the Carnage. Stop laughing, Paula/Maria. And to the mental picture of Teammate Jessica and the “ice” – Jessica asked a volunteer to scoop some ice out of one of the aid table barrels into her jogbra. Somewhere down the line after the ice had melted, she realized that she was a bit more “stacked” than usual…and started pulling the clear plastic bottle cap tops out of her jogbra that had been in the ice! Just too funny a visual.

19.        Joke we realized leaving for S.F. on Tuesday: How do you know the Ironman athletes at the Airport? They’re the ones that slip off their shoes for Security, and then can’t bend over to reach and put them on the scanner…(See this link from Coach Simon for fun.)

20.          To the Newfoundland band Great Big Sea. Though I had a whole inspirational “Music Playlist” on my ipod I had “memorized” for the day, Great Big Sea just horned in and stayed with me the whole way instead. (And thanks to Kelownagurl for introducing them to me in her podcast, months and months ago.) In case you’re curious, my songs were:

Swim: Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.

Bike: The Night Pat Murphy Died, When I Am King (here is a concert video, not so great sound though), Ordinary Day (all by Great Big Sea)

Run: Lukey, End Of The World (both by Great Big Sea) If you listen to any of these, do the last one – it’s beyond fun. They are all links to concert videos. I’m going to see the band in a month or so. Come along! (smile)

(Some other great Great Big Sea here – Mary Mac, Consequence Free, Excursion Around The Bay (hilarious)

20.         To my husband, H, for putting up with me for the past 10 months doing this, and unselfishly spending time out on the bike with me on all those long rides. You are the best husband EVER!

21.          To you, for reading this far. You’re nuts! Go back to work! (smile). OK, if you’d like a couple of things to watch, here are some amateur videos. Here is the Swim Start - I’m at 45 seconds, Teammate Maria is in the turquoise swim top at 44.  In this one, you can see me at 2:31.  This one is a bit better -  I’m at 4:07. And this one, taken by the wonderful Louis from L.A. Team, is me in the Finisher’s pen (you can hear my name at 1:34 and then I go right past Louis without seeing him – !!). And if you want something wonderful that says what I feel, watch this.

MY STATS:
2.4 Mile Swim: 1:39:53 (about 10 minutes longer than I had hoped)

Transition 1: about 12 minutes (about what I planned)

Bike Total: 8:30 (longer than anticipated, but not bad). Splits: (1) 15.41 mph (2) 13.70 mph (3) 12.81 mph (4) 12.34 mph.

Transition 2: 25 minutes. Ugh.

Run Total: 6:12:56 – not bad, considering! Splits: (1) 13.53/mile (2) 14.27/mile (3) 13.32/mile (4) 14.11/mile (5) 14.31/mile (6) 15.02/mile (running out of gas…) (6) 13.14/mile (charging for the finish!)

Some consider the marathon the ultimate endurance event.
We consider it a cool down. (Anonymous)

from Triathlon Training

In the final days before you race an Ironman it is essential that you keep a few things in mind.

Ironman essence – Gratitude

The Ironman hype in the final week before race day often makes you forget the reason you are racing in the first place. Excitement is running high. Triathletes are everywhere, discussing race goals.

This is a good time to remind yourself why you started in this sport. It is very likely you were attracted to triathlon, Ironman, because of the lifestyle it provides you; its health benefits; the opportunity to visit the great places around the world where triathlons are held; and for the unique friendships that develop between athletes.

Ironman is a way to celebrate life: it is a gift to the have time, the health and the finances to take part in such a unique event.

Remind yourself of the above in race week and try to focus less on your splits in each discipline, age-group placing or Kona slots: those are only consequences of a great race execution, based on your fitness and mindset. 

Setting goals

Crossing the finish line is always at the top of the list.

Then you have secondary goals that are usually linked to finish times and/or improving splits in each discipline.

Be careful how you set them and what benchmark you use. Always keep in mind that race day conditions are unique and hard, if not impossible, to predict. If you want to improve your finish time of the previous year, or from another other race, you have to take into account that the conditions such as wind, temperature and currents will most likely be different.

Another problem with predicting finish times, especially for first-timers, is using times done in training: unless you have done an Ironman simulation it is impossible to know how you will react during the final half of the Ironman run. The result window is massive: you might have a solid day and run those 21km in 100 minutes or less, or if you may get cramps and take 3 hours, or more.

Confidence

Maintaining confidence in your training and race strategy in the final days before Ironman can be a challenge. As soon as you arrive at the race venue you bump into all those sponsored athletes walking around in and with the latest equipment, showing off their lean and vascular legs. Such sights can be quite intimidating to the first timer or beginner athlete.

Remember: before a race everyone looks like a champion – don’t let this hurt your confidence.

Another common thought on race week is: “I should have trained harder!”

You have already done the best you could. Perhaps you had to take a week off training due to work, family or health issues but those are situations we all face. Every single triathlete on the startline of an Ironman had to overcome some sort of challenge during their preparation so don’t worry, you are not alone.

Be realistic

One of the biggest differences between the short races and Ironman is that the latter provides a better opportunity for the athlete to perform according to ability. Never forget this on race day. If you are not feeling great in the swim or the early stages of the bike, stay calm: there is a long day ahead and you will have the opportunity to get into your rhythm as the race progresses.

Other examples are a slow transition or a flat tire: unlike the short course events where your race would be over due to those setbacks, in Ironman you can still catch up on the lost time.

There is no such a thing as having a great race based on experience or “luck”. At best you minimize potential problems by going under-trained into an Ironman but no miracle will happen. Your best choice is to adjust your goals and expectations to avoid frustration.

Rational vs Emotional

Keep your emotions in check on race day: don’t let them take over your race strategy. Adrenalin released in the first few hours of the race, with the type-A and competitive personality of each triathlete, plus the fact that everyone is well-rested and tapered is a perfect recipe for disaster.

The main mistakes happen in the cycling leg, especially during the first hours, when athletes are excited and forget a very long day is only just beginning. As a result, people start to race each other or just ignore their nutrition plan.

Another common mistake that results in an emotional, rather than a rational, approach is after a setback such as a flat tire or a penalty is that athletes tend to “make up for it”. Don’t. Stay calm and be patient in those situations instead. Ironman is a long race and you can slowly, over the next hours, catch up on the missed minutes. Please do not try to do it within the next 60 minutes.

Positive attitude

It takes between 8 and 17 hours to finish an Ironman. That is a lot of time for everything to go as planned, especially considering the myriad of factors the athlete can’t control. It is very likely that something will go “wrong” at some stage during the race.

After I wrote an article about the mental attitude towards the race day challenge last year, several athletes came to talk to me after finishing their Ironman and mentioned that already in the swim leg their race wasn’t going as planned: they couldn’t see the buoys and went off course.

Ironman is all about overcoming obstacles. The challenges start with your training routine, how you manage your work and family commitments with those long sessions that take a lot of your time and energy. The training is 90% of the Ironman experience and is the biggest challenge. Race day is only the celebration of getting to the start line. You will still be tested during the event, be it physically or logistically, but with your Ironman determination you will find a solution and make it to the finish line. 

Have a great race!

http://www.trifuel.com/training/triathlon-training/mental-attitude-for-ironman

Here is the information that interested ABC-TV and the tips that we sent to them – I hope that you enjoy these as well!

Tips To Use To Increase Your Wellbeing In A Down Economy That Don’t Cost You Money AND Help You Lose Weight:
A No-Nonsense Approach to Relationship and Health Issues

 Introduction: Work/life balance is more crucial now than ever, given how the unexpected changes on Wall Street have affected the small business on Main Street, and trickled down into our homes and in particular our bedrooms. Our mission is to help women see dramatic changes in their lives, including better health (weight loss), increased happiness (more vibrant sex life & increased energy and drive) and improved financial security (additional money flowing into their businesses, if they are entrepreneurs). Statistics show a direct correlation between the stresses of work and the detrimental effect it has on a couple’s relationship and intimacy level; we’re teaming up to provide a no-nonsense approach to solving America’s relationship and health issues. Sandy and Sheila have a seminar coming up and the VFTB audience can go to www.empower180.com to receive information. Registered VFTB viewers will receive a 2 for one bonus on Sandy and Sheila’s books at the seminar.

1)     Women and Men are Different! (Your Life Will Be Easier The Sooner You Embrace This). 

1. Talk Your Belly Off… Women need to talk, talk, talk to get their oxytocin up, which raises levels of serotonin and decreases levels of cortisol, which is the “belly fat storing” chemical. So, decrease your stress and improve your relationship by simply putting 6 grrlfriends on your speed dial. Talking has been medically proven to be chemically necessary to women.  It will decrease your stress, and increase your receptivity to your husband and availability to your kids.
2. …Just Not To Your Husband! Men need to have a short To Do list and a goal to achieve. Men have on average 3x the serotonin of women – so if you are trying to “get your serotonin up” by talking things out with your husband instead of a woman, (a) he is going to start falling asleep like you just fed him a bunch of turkey, and (b) you’re going to frustrate the heck out of him as he’s trying to figure out the 3 things you want him to “do” while you’re on number 99 and talking a mile a minute!
3. Breathe Your Way To Wellbeing. There is also a VERY quick breathing exercise that increases a stress-reducing chemical in your body (nitric oxide) – this is one of Dr Oz’s favorites in fact – it’s important to know this breathing exercise (in through the nose on a 6 count, hold, then out on a 6 count) and “how to breathe” (into the belly versus raising the shoulders).
4. Your Husband Will Love To Hear This: More Sex Is Good.  Though we try to avoid thinking about this, we are all mammals, and touching, sensuality, and sex increases things you want to increase (feelings of wellbeing, bone density) and decreases things we want to decrease (depression, blood pressure, etc.) (here is the link to this page in Fempowerment book. If this link does not work, go to Amazon.com, search on book “Fempowerment” then use “Look Inside” feature and search on “osteoporosis” – it will take you to the correct page in the book with the facts list and references.)

2)     Create An EnvironMENTALLY Friendly Zone In Your Physical Space. Organization is key to decreasing stress and having time and space for your relationships – so take the time to clean your physical space. We all have areas of our life that are cluttered. Just as we discuss how to remove your mental clutter (next 2 tips), you need to de-clutter your physical environment.  When you get organized and de-clutter, you feel lighter and rightly so…You have lost weight in your home! This will allow you to lighten your mind and become more creative with your thoughts – and more receptive to your mate.

 3)     End The Endless To Do List. Women are extremely talented at multi-tasking.  Yet, there are only 24-hours in each day.  So, the best phrase you can learn to adopt is…”Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” Before you commit to the next task or project, pause and ask yourself if this is something that you can and want to do. If you instead go on a Guilt Trip, you will continue to find yourself on a never ending path of To-Dos. Another great tip is, instead of saying “Yes” – if “No” is too harsh –  get a concession. For example, “I can drop off the kids if you can pick them up tomorrow afternoon.” Exchanging will help you lead a more balanced – and happier – life. 

 4)     Dump your Head-Trash™ Sheila Stewart coined this phrase. It summarizes the little voices that pipe up in our heads at the most inopportune times.  These voices are the ones that sabotage you right when you are ready to step out and take a chance, or make a bold move.  These voices say things like, “Who do you think you are?  You’re too young.  You’re too old.  You don’t have enough money. Your friend failed, how can you succeed.”  And on, and on, and on.  We have over 30,000 negative thoughts every day.  This equates to 85% of our thoughts.  That means only 15% of our thoughts are positive.  The key is to dump the voices every day and reverse the statistic.  When the voices enter your mind, dump them out. 

 5)     Detox Your Relationships and Eliminate “Frenemies.”  Just as you detox your body to remove the excess and sludge that is causing fatigue and low energy, you must detox your relationships. Once we realize that our “Head Trash” often turns into gossip, fear, and stress in our lives, we can recognize and address the fact that our worst enemy is often “inside” of us – drawing toxic people to us. By doing a Frenemy (friends who are really enemies) Audit, we can create an environment that is filled with only clean and positive relationships. This includes friends, family, business colleagues – even clients!  When you evaluate each relationship, determine if it is helping you or hindering you.  If it is hindering you, time to detox! Wean off the toxic people slowly – but surely. The key is to become aware. We are becoming more aware of what we put in our bodies, yet we so often overlook what – and whom! – we surround our bodies with! Our challenge is to ramp it up in 2010 and create a healthy and wealthy mindset and lifestyle.

 6)     Become a Balancepreneur^TM.  There are five areas in any woman’s life, and Sheila coined this word to help women find their life balance. If she is “low” in one area, she can “borrow” from another area. For example, if she is low in money but high in her social relationships, she might find a way to turn a beloved recipe into an entrepreneurial venture! What does “balance” mean – to you?

If you are going to be in the audience – thanks in advance! If you can’t make it, here is the link to the live feed!

I’m on with another gal, and we only have 4 minutes. I hope that it goes well! Now to go shower, get my duds on (and makeup – huh what’s that?) then off and running!

Here’s our writeup and topic – our “Tips” will be posted on the View From The Bay website, and I will link them here later on today or tomorrow. They run to 3 pages – for a 4 minute interview! Oh dear!

Increase Your Wellbeing In A Down Economy with Tips  That Don’t Cost You Money AND Help You Lose Weight:
A No-Nonsense Approach to Relationship and Health Issues

Introduction: Work/life balance is more crucial now than ever, given how the unexpected changes on Wall Street have affected the small business on Main Street, and trickled down into our homes and in particular our bedrooms. Our mission is to help women see dramatic changes in their lives, including better health (weight loss), increased happiness (more vibrant sex life & increased energy and drive) and improved financial security (additional money flowing into their businesses, if they are entrepreneurs). Statistics show a direct correlation between the stresses of work and the detrimental effect it has on a couple’s relationship and intimacy level; we’re teaming up to provide a no-nonsense approach to solving America’s relationship and health issues. Sandy and Sheila have a seminar coming up and the VFTB audience can go to www.empower180.com to receive information. Registered VFTB viewers will receive a 2 for one bonus on Sandy and Sheila’s books at the seminar. 

Tips To Use To

gotta get back to this - by losing 35 lbs so I can invert again!

Wednesday was my pole dancing class, and it was (as always) a blast. In going in, I knew that this would be my last class for a while. It’s just gotten too prohibitive (time and $-wise) to come into the city in the middle of a weekday. I also have about 35 pounds too much “junk in my trunk,” and so I have not been able to do any of the more advanced moves – heck, I can barely climb and invert! I am going to up my practicing at home, and perhaps get back at it after the Ironman. I should have “brought sexy back” by then! Assuming of course that work has picked up. Knowing it would be my last class for a while made me really throw myself into it. I did my last free pole/dance to Moulin Rouge’s “Roxanne” – a song that a lot of us used “way back when” we were first learning. I pushed the chair up against the 2nd pole and the gal I was giving the “lap dance” to (whom I didn’t know – new in our class) said “Woah, I was actually a little scared there.” It was a faboo last class (for a while).

Wednesday was supposed to be a Spin workout, but I got home, did some chores, and went for a “nap” at 6:00p.m.  – waking up the next day at 9:00 a.m.! H didn’t wake me when he got home – he said I was “out like a light.” I am reading Younger Next Year for my 50th time (I LOVE that book) and I have to believe that my body was so busy making all the new connections and mitochondria and veins and muscle fiber and what-have-you in this Ironman Adventure that it couldn’t keep the lights on, too.

Jakie & Sandy playing Lance Armstrong in the garage

Thursday was supposed to be a Swim, but because I’m such a dog on the Bike, I decided to do the Spin workout instead. Yup, Jake and me in the garage again . . . I put on Podrunner.com and put in a BPM that I could keep cadence to, and worked out to that. It was supposed to be “progressive Valley Drills” but because I have no way to keep track of RPM and all that jazz, I decided I would work on keeping a steady cadence and going up and down my gears. Think I have mentioned Podrunner before – it’s free workout mixes at set beats per minute. It’s sort of “house music” which makes it easy to mindlessly pump away to.

Friday was 8 x 880s (or is it 800s? 2x around the track) and Strength. I procrastinated for a while, as it was cold and I was feeling very snug in the house with the fire H had made. However, when it was nearly too late, I got in the car. First I checked out the new dog park area at Red Hill – H had said that there was a track there – turns out that it’s actually a soccer field with the red clay/gravel/whatever surrounding it, but not a track per se. I went to Drake, and though they were having lacrosse AND soccer practice, the track only had a couple of young gals practicing sprint repeats (no Track Team or Coach). So I did that. I started out with a Podrunner 132 BPM mix, and though that felt like a good cadence and my heart rate was nice and in the aerobic zone, I was 2+ minutes (MINUTES – yes and this is just two times around the track) off my VDOT. So I cranked it up to a new mix, which was 162 BPM. I was still slow on my VDOT, but that felt like a good cadence. A number of other folks joined me on the track and lapped me shamelessly – some day I won’t be dragging this extra 35 pounds around and I will be able to have a spring in my step too!

If you can, please come and support me!

FROM ABC-TV:

I would like to extend a special invitation to Sandra J. Shepard’s friends, family and colleagues to be in our studio audience the day that she will be appearing  on “The View From The Bay” – Tuesday 26^th, 2010.

Meet Spencer Christian and Janelle Wang and get a chance to see the behind the scenes of a live television broadcast. Tickets for the show must be reserved in advance. Audience doors open at 2:15pm with a cut-off time of 2:30pm, the show is live from 3-4pm.

To reserve your seats please call the ticket request line at (415)-954-7733 or visit www.viewfromthebay.com and click on “be in our audience” and fill out a ticket request form. Or click on the link below to go to our online ticket request form. Simply fill out your information and press submit.

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/feature?section=view_from_the_bay&id=6337461

Please be sure to note under “comments” that you are requesting a specific date to support Sandy on her scheduled show.

Please pass this email on to any friends, family or colleagues who may be interested in being in our studio audience.

*Please note that all seats must be reserved in advance. Tickets that have been requested will be sent via an email confirmation with detailed instruction on where and when to arrive at the ABC studio. Also note that audience members come in a separate entrance and time than guests appearing on the show.

Rachel Wyatt
Audience Coordinator
Rachel.Wyatt@abc.com

The View from the Bay

As promised, CLICK HERE for the link to my donation page – remember, all Donors go Straight to Heaven.

(This is a little break back into my “real life” and away from the Trials and Tribulations of turning CouchPotatoWoman into IronWoman!)

This is my brother Jeff’s brother, David. Yeah, that sounds weird. Let me explain.

Jeff and I met at the Kindergarten bus stop when we were like 5 years old. We hit it off and perhaps more importantly, our moms hit it off. It started a 40 year bff through-thick-or-thin relationship. If I couldn’t get a hold of my mom to tell her something, I would call Mrs. Rosenthal, because she was my “Other Mom.” One time, when I called her pretty doggone recently when something happened and my mom was away from home (got the machine – per usual), she said to me “Now Sandy, I want to be sure that you are JUST as excited when you tell this to your Mom when you get her.” Pause. “HOWEVER, I really like the fact that I’m usually the first one!” We had a good smile about that – I used to send her birthday cards to Mrs. O.M. Rosenthal on the envelope, standing (of course) for “Other Mom.” I met her at that point in my life when she would always be “Mrs. Rosenthal,” never Joan. But when I wrote, she could at least be “Mrs. O.M.R.”

But back to my brother’s brother. Jeff and I have said back and forth for years that we were really brother and sister. I remember one time in high school coming back from something or another together, he driving his parents’ big boat of a green car. (Impala, maybe?) He wasn’t going out with anyone, and I wasn’t either. We were just coming around a curve in the road (by Blackie’s Pasture, if you know Tiburon, where the road goes from 2 to one lane). We were talking about how our folks would probably really like us to date, since our mothers practically saw each other every day. There was a slight pause, then we said nearly at the same time, “I wouldn’t have to like KISS you or anything, right?” We cracked up and that was the end of that. TOTALLY Sister/Brother.

Well Jeff’s younger brother is David. David and I didn’t know each other that well, just because he was 4 years younger, and that’s kinda how it goes. Now about 15 years ago, David actually was diagnosed with Lymphoma. My mom called me – Everyone was very freaked out. David went in for aggressive chemo; he was a Public Defender at the time, and his workmates chipped in their vacation time so that he could have enough time and still be paid, to work through the treatment. The best part? He’s cancer-free.

I asked David if he would let me add him to my “Why We Do This” wall, and he graciously assented, and sent me a picture of his GORGEOUS FAMILY (aren’t they gorgeous?) I have seen them a few times recently, and I just love them to death. (That’s Mary, his wife, Molly and Jack, his kids.)

Without the sort of treatments that David was able to get, there would BE no Molly and Jack. That kinda freaks me out. And THAT is why I am doing this.

If you have someone in your life that has fought and won, or lost, their battle with Leukemia, Lymphoma, Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, or other blood cancer, would you send me their picture and their story? The more I can see, the more committed I am to raising all that doggone money.

My dad was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in 1994. After receiving his initial treatment, he suffered a stroke and was confined to a wheelchair. For the next 13 years, he fought a brave battle against his disease, at the same time learning to live with his new disability. He rarely complained and faced his chemos and obstacles with humor and optimism. My mother tirelessly cared for him, allowing him to spend his final years at home with the assistance of CNAs who visited every morning for two hours. She bathed him, toileted him and gave him the best quality of life she could. When his body started to fail in June of 2007, we made the decision to withdraw treatment and helped my dad enter eternity with the assistance of the wonderful people of hospice. He had a peaceful and loving death, surrounded by his family and knowing he would always be loved and missed.

This is who I’m doing this for. Stories like this will help me as I train during this winter. Please let me know if you have any stories to share, so that I can have your loved ones’ spirits in the wind at my back.

You’ve all heard me talking on a couple of podcasts about our upcoming event in October with Empower180.com in their “What Women Want” Series. Sheila and my working subtitle for our part in the series is, Recession proof your relationship: How the economy is affecting you in the bedroom.

As a few of you have asked what the seminar will be about, let me give you a bit more information. Sheila and I will be addressing American’s health, relationship and financial woes with practical, realistic advice.

In today’s volatile economy, it’s not just businesses’ bank accounts that are suffering; entrepreneurs’ intimate lives are detrimentally influenced by the stresses of keeping a small business afloat. It’s all about the she-conomy and how women must balance being everything for everyone with trying to find time and space for their passions.

As you know, I’m passionate about helping women weave sensual femininity into their daily lives. My part of the evening will include a lot of rousing “body chemistry enhancing” moments – don’t be scared! If you come you will have a BLAST.

Balancepreneur Sheila Stewart, a serial entrepreneur & author of Backwards in High Heels: A Woman’s Guide to Succeeding in Business, is an expert in teaching harmony between the five life accounts (Money, Relationships, Spirituality, Health and Network). She says that a work/life balance is more crucial now than ever, given how the unexpected changes on Wall Street have affected the small business on Main Street.

Our clients have seen dramatic changes in their lives, including better health (weight loss), increased happiness (more vibrant sex life & increased energy and drive) and improved financial security (additional money flowing into their businesses).  Statistics show a direct correlation between the stresses of work and the detrimental effect it has on a couple’s relationship and intimacy level.

We hope on October 7th to give you a little taste of Sheila’s Balancepreneur program and my fEmpowerment Finishing School & Training Academy, to provide you with a no-nonsense approach to solving your – and America’s! – relationship and health issues.

Click below to get to the interview – you’ll love it!

And to the right is the flyer for our What Women Want chat in Sacramento on October 17th. If you come, introduce yourself to me, and mention the podcast, I will give you a free hour of personal coaching! Yes, really!

And why so little blogging? Twitter. I admit it. I have started Tweeting, and it’s so easy, that I have become a slacker here. Mea maxima culpa. I’m fempowerment on Twitter – so if you’re there, say HEY, I’d love to hear from you!

Lots of stuff going on since I last posted (besides the Peru trip). I’ve finally reached the highest total weight I have ever been in my LIFE – by pounds and pounds. How’d it happen? Stress, mainly. I’m a stress eater (and wine drinker). Money stress, trip stress, time stress, managing 3 businesses AND trying to do the work at the same time…you know the drill. I wish I was a stress RUNNER, but even as a kid, I was never much for exercise. We were raised that studying/books/reading/etc. were GOOD, and exercise was just something that you did in between. My folks are both VERY active – so what happens when you have a kid that isn’t attracted to exercise naturally??

I was lucky to have a great metabolism when I was younger (growing to be over 6′ probably helped!) Then when an adult, I found out I was fairly coordinated for a gal who never really had gym as a kid (thanks, private school), so I became part of the UC varsity fencing and karate teams. I luckily kept working out, finding usually karate dojos to join as I moved around the country, and then for a time my friend Leslie and I decided to do triathlons – which we did. I guess that once you get the rock rolling, it keeps rolling.

I was in the greatest shape of my LIFE for our wedding back in 2006. I was HOT HOT HOT! Unfortunately, we went on a 6 week honeymoon that incorporated a lot of driving, riding on barges, and eating, drinking, eating and drinking! Then I moved into a completely sedentary, high-stress job for nearly a year…rescued by my publisher telling me I HAD TO GET THE BOOK FINISHED (and H agreeing to pay me to stay home and do it – how’s THAT for a great husband?)

I just never really got back in the workout “groove.” My life had been completely taken over by working out to get into that tiny tiny wedding dress (I wore my mom’s – I’m 6’2″ she’s 5’7″ – don’t even ask!) I am now 35 lbs heavier than I was back then – and it’s some SERIOUS weight, the nasty kind – the kind that makes you look at clothes in your closet and say “WHAT? Who’s closet IS This?”

I don’t like being fat (no one does, I know). But it’s tough to get the rock “rolling” again. I have recently signed up to be a BeachBody coach (you can check it out at www.BestLifeStyleNow.com if you want) – and hope that this will help me get back in the groove. BeachBody has some great workout stuff – I already had a number of the DVDs – and this gives me a “Community” to report back into.

Interestingly, I came back from Peru and got an intestinal bug…I hope it’s not a “real” bug as in creepy crawly (my dad brought this possibility up – uck). Even with that, I am serious fat-packed at that 30+ extra pounds. I’m trying not to hate myself for being so “weak” – and I want it all to fall off like TOMORROW. Yeah yeah, where’s that magic wand???

Before we left for Peru, one of my best grrls Tweeted me – I was saying something about not fitting into the clothes that I wanted to bring (small wonder, last time we travelled I was at least 12 lbs less booty), and she wrote back basically “Yeah you’re fat but you’re happy, you have a great life and a man who loves you” blah blah. Of course what do I read? the “yeah you’re fat” part. (She didn’t really say that, but I think it was something like “Yeah, well, you have some to lose” or “Yeah, well, sure you’ve put on some pounds” or something.) This is a gal where we used to be mistaken for twins all the time – no issue now. And she just had a baby.

So, I’m here blogging, because I feel bad that I haven’t – and I thought I’d let ya’ll know that when you’re in the depths of whatever-it-is, we all get there. My publisher wants me to do a workbook based on my book – which I want to do, but right now, I can’t concentrate on that. Then again, my thought is to work THROUGH my book just like a newbie reader would – maybe that would help me with the workbook!

I’m off to a Tony Robbins 4-day “thang” end of this month, then the Dallas eWomenNetwork convention for 4, and all that jazz. I am meeting a friend in Dallas who has become my BeachBody coach – and I need to look hot by then! At least – hotter than THIS. So I’m working out…I’m on Day 2, but at least I got up this morning.

Peace, out!

Pop quiz: which will make you more unhappy, a baseball through your window or a loose handle on your bathroom door? Did you guess the broken window? Dan Gilbert, who’s been studying happiness for decades, wants us to think again.

According to him, most people have a horrible time predicting what will make them happy and unhappy. You can check out a recent article he wrote in the New York Times to find out more. The bad news is that even knowing about how the brain distorts our thinking, it’s very hard to correct for it. The good news is that at least you can be on guard!

For those who like moving pictures instead of static text, you can also check out DanGilbert’s TED talk, which I quite enjoyed.

Good luck, and happy hunting!

It reminds me of Sei Shonagon’s “The Pillow Book.” She was a court lady (and author) from around the year 1,000 (yes, really). Her book included collections of things that she found interesting when she was at court, including “Lists.” These include such lists as: ”Things That Give A Clean Feeling” (an earthen cup. a new metal bowl. a rush mat. the play of the light on water as one pours it into a vessel. a new wooden chest) and “Things That Give an Unclean Feeling” (a rat’s nest. someone who is late in washing his hands in the morning. white snivel, and children who sniffle when they walk. the containers used for oil. little sparrows. a person who does not bathe for a long time even though the weather is hot. all faded clothes, especially those that have glossy colors) and ‘Squalid Things” (the back of a piece of embroidery. the inside of a cat’s ear. a swarm of mice, who still have no fur, when the come wriggling out of their nest. the seams of a fur robe that has not yet been lined).

Enjoy.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

There is a corollary to this – you should NOT do things that you do NOT like, and/or are bad at. I recently received an email newsletter from Stephanie Frank at Success IQ University that was on this subject. The email had to do with one of her coaching clients, a “people person,” who was trying to take on blogging, Twitter, SEO’ing her website and the like. The coaching that she received was basically – STOP IT – if that is not what you love and what you are good at. If it’s something you are actually interested in, well, great. But if not – that’s what other professionals are for!

In general, we usually hire “experts” for medical consultations, financial consultations, legal consultations, and the like. But what about taking over those other parts of your life or your business that you really hate? Myself, I have a “house cleaning consultant.” Yes, that’s right – I am not crazy about scrubbing the toilet, I ‘fess up. So I have someone that comes in and does it for me. I get to spend more time doing things that I love. Things that can bring abundance into my life – financially, or just through the Joy of not having to pull on those sexy rubber gloves.

We often get in our own way as well – and then hold onto our stories about how “we are.” What you think is what you are. Change what you think – change what you are. OK, so, think about it . . . and while you’re at it, for a laugh, check this out. It’s a little over 6 minutes but it’s good all the way to the end.

“A study of more than five thousand individuals, conducted by Harris Interactive in cooperation with Merrill Lynch, has torn the covers off the four groups of people who make up the new economic strata in America today. They are:

We now know that the people who have achieved both financial comfort and wealth are distinctly different from those who are struggling paycheck to paycheck or sinking further into debt each month.

They are different in their attitudes, behaviors (financial and nonfinancial), personalities, and goals.

The financially comfortable and the wealthy tend to be more passionate about what they do in life, they are more optimistic, and they are more resilient—able to overcome whatever obstacles life throws their way. They are more visionary—able to see things in a slightly different and improved way, if not a new way altogether. They are more connected to others in their professional and personal lives, and they have greater confidence in those relationships, as well as in their lives overall. And they are grateful—incredibly grateful—for the good fortune life has thrown their way.

They are also more likely to come at life with a different mind-set and a different set of skills. They tend to be goal setters who figure out what they want in life and then make a plan to go after it. They are dogged workers (and often need less sleep). The comfortable and wealthy take more risks than the average person, but they listen to their own voices and those of people they trust in order to be as certain as possible that those risks are appropriate for their stage in life or work. And they are always on a quest to learn something new.

you can learn. Although some people are born with, say, more optimism, it—like every other attribute or skill on this list—can be taught.

And that is what The Difference is all about. [The] book is devoted to teaching you how to uncover your nascent talents and develop those abilities. You will discover the latest psychological and academic findings, complete exercises that are easy to incorporate into your everyday life, and read stories of people who’ve done precisely what you want to do. They’ve harnessed the power within and used it to reach the same goals you have: financial comfort and long-lasting wealth.

Go download the book right now!

This is from the book Motivating Yourself: Recharging the Human Battery, by Mac Anderson. It was forwarded to me by a friend (did I mention in the previous post I’m trying to clear out email?) – and I liked it a lot so I’m sharing with all of you. I think that my granddad would appreciate it too, since it features a ham radio operator (if you have been following my postings re his WWI diary).

“What brought this on?” she asked with a smile.

What happened? Happy married life? Complacency? A little of both?

So here I sit, 172 pounds (oh lord, I said it – of course, it was 179!), and not “walking my talk.” Again, not sure how it snuck away from me, but part of it definitely has to do with the fact that I have started a new business (SendOutCards – check out sandy-shepard.com if you haven’t already), we travelled a LOT last year (yeah, I know, you’re feeling SO SORRY for me), and, again, well, I just got sorta kinda “fat and happy.”

We just returned from the Big Island of Hawaii (see? I know you feel SO SORRY for me), and during that time I had a “Time Out” and got to thinkin’. We absolutely adore staying at the Four Seasons – a friend of ours has a condo there (I think it cost $2 mil – yes, really), and it’s just “the good life.” Get up, condo is clean and clear, go down to the amazing gym where “cabana boys” hand you towels and water and spritz you with Evian and help you set up your weight routine….lounge in the meditation area…go down and watch the sea turtles in the ocean…

My publisher has wanted me to start thinking about a Workbook to go “with” my book – and what came to me in Hawaii is that perhaps what I need to do is work through my own book – and blog it – getting back to the basics that I myself advocate. (What a concept!) I was going to start right when we got back – but air delays, gate delays, weather, and then laundry, groceries and chores sort of blew that idea. However, the current “plan” is to start kinda today (with this post), and then get out my own dog-eared copy of fEmpowerment and work through it…and let ya’ll know how it’s going.

I plan to podcast it as well – my “James” finally got my upload capabilities working, and re-uploaded all my podcasting software. As I probably blogged, my computer blew up in December and I was without it for 2 weeks – then when I got the big bill (grrrr) and it turned out it could NOT be repaired “after all”, had to buy a new one….which meant my James re-uploading everything out of backups, downloading freeware, the works. The final “bit” of it he did last night. So I have no more excuses.

I have been uploading my Granddad’s diary from WWI – which I think I will finish today – I am not sure if anyone is actually interested, but I’m really excited to have it available. Then, time to just regroup, and Find My Inner Bond Girl and Let Her Out!

This website is wa-a-ay too addictive. I’d definitely suggest adding it to your RSS Feedreader (if you don’t have one or don’t know how to do this, email me and I’ll ‘splain — it’s super easy and you will LOVE it once you get it set up). Archives include:

25 Daily Suggestions to Guide you toward the Good Life;

10 Handy Numbers for your Mobile Phone (particularly notice the FREE 411 through Google);

33 Inspirational Videos from YouTube (including the “Last Lecture,” laughter yoga, the original Hoosiers motivational speech, the Braveheart “Freedom” speech, and wow, wow, wow, SO MUCH MORE!…check this one out about an autistic guy singing the National Anthem at Disability Awareness Day in Fenway Park in Boston if you want that throat swelling/eyes tearing up moment…);

20 Things the Millionaire Next Door does NOT do (fantastic list. I cover this in my book, based on the actual book “The Millionaire Next Door” – but read this and BE HONEST – what stops you from being a millionaire? My biggest issue is #9 – impulse buying – as Erin Doland and I discussed in our podcast, this is the “Shiny! Shiny!” problem. I actually do NOT do this at the mall – it’s always at things like silent auctions for charities. I figure it’s for a good cause . . . but hello, it’s not good for my pocketbook! I just did this yesterday at one of my favorite charities in the world, Women’s Initiative for Self-Employment…just shoot me.)

Check out this site! It’s great!  Thanks again, Sallie!

In this vodcast, we take the mint from the julep and create a Mojito, and as the Mojito reminds us of travel (Cuba might open up any time now!), we discuss:

*  How Sandy packed in 15 minutes for a 3 week honeymoon;

*  Picking and packing in a “base” color, intelligently;

*  Getting around every woman’s Achilles heel (as it were) – Shoes!

*  Things to leave in your suitcase, including one Secret Weapon to amaze your James;

*  Covering issues such as plants, lights, kids, pets, mail, newspapers and the like so you’re ready to take off when an adventure presents itself;

*  Handling lotions, potions, makeup and jewelry on a trip; and

*  Much more!

In a few minutes, we hope we can get you from “Oh Honey, No!” when those tickets to Paris show up unexpectedly, to “Honey, Let’s Go!”

Let me know what you think – either give me a ring on my Listener Feedback line 206.350.3537, leave a Comment here, or email to sandy[at]beabondgirl[dot]com.

The second teleconference in each month is not based upon Curriculum. It is based upon what came up for each Bond Grrl during the previous 2 weeks, as a follow on from the first session of the month and the Weekly Update. If you are following along, you have heard Session One (based on the curriculum), then read the Weekly Update (and the Testimonials), and now we are to Session Two. It deals with setting Goals and Steps for accomplishment – because the Thursday group had some issues with respect to how exactly to do just that.

Each member uses her “Bond Grrl Name,” which I have found helps women really be truthful, honest, and forthright in what she discusses with the group.

My Bond Grrls were asked to post their weekly information and questions here in Comments to share their process, but it’s been a wee bit too private for that! So as you can see, most of the information on the Blog is just from Yours Truly. I am sure that you understand. But you can certainly hear their processes during the Teleconferences.

If you have comments or questions, please call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Enjoy… click on the button below to Play. It has about six seconds of silence at the beginning, so just wait a few counts, it will come on.

One issue that I did not bring up in the Weekly Update but I will likely bring up in the call on May 22nd was the “belching issue.”  A couple of the women on the call mentioned this specifically. If you have listened to the podcast, you will hear an enormous belch about 3/4 of the way through. It was while one of the Bond Grrls was speaking in the Masterminding session. (If you haven’t listened to the podcast, bet you’re going to do it now, huh? :-) ) The belch was definitely an adult – it was not one of the Bond Grrls who was attending with her baby. To me, it actually sounded like a man’s belch.

So it was one thing, or the other.  Either it was one of the Bond Grrls letting out a ripper of a belch, or one of the Bond Grrls who was on the call had her “significant other” come and belch literally in her face while she was on the call. If the first, that’s fairly easy to correct – it’s a disgusting sound, it’s unnecessary, and it’s definitely not Bond Grrl to belch like a toad on overdrive. If it was a “James” making this sound, it is either one of two things: (a) a power play, or (b) an “endearment.” In either case, the Bond Grrl has given some sort of signal in her life that this is “OK.”

We do train our men – we all know that. If we say “Oh honey that’s disgusting! (Tee hee hee)”, we are actually signalling that we are OK being treated like that. If we get angry, again, we have allowed our James to see that something “pushes our buttons,” and so he can use it as a power play against us.  Here a way to handle this.

Show no reaction at the time. (This is critical – remember, he’s trying to get you off your game.) Then, after the call, sit down very seriously and say, “James, are you really someone who belches in his woman’s ear? Is that the real you? Can you please help me to understand what you were thinking when you did that?” Then just be quiet.

He’s going to have to say whatever he “thought” – and you need to stay non-reactive. If he says “oh, I thought it was really funny,” don’t just counter with a huffy “Well I sure don’t!” Try instead “To me, it’s an inappropriate way to express yourself. Just like telling an incredibly prejudiced joke, that belch reflects upon you. Is that what you want to be remembered for?” or perhaps “When you belch in my ear when I am on an accountability call, it makes me feel disrespected. I feel embarrassed because the other women on the call can hear this. I would rather that belching is not part of our relationship repertoire.” Just do NOT go the direction of “When you belched in my ear, you disrespected me.”  Because he will say “No I didn’t,” and you’re in a fight. Always stick to how YOU feel. Do NOT get into “his body” or “his head.” You can ask what he was thinking when he did it, or what that signified to him, but when it comes to your reaction, ground it in your own feelings or you’re setting yourself for an “I did not,” “You did too” type fight. 

Whoever is the Grrl that had this happen to her has allowed this in her life. No one here is a Victim. How you are treated is a manifestation of how you have shown that you want to be treated. ‘Nuff said.

As for the call in general, it brought up some private issues that a few of the Bond Grrls wanted to work through with me on email, as their Coach. As you can see, we do not have that many Comments thusfar – those who had immediate issues decided to keep them private between coach/Bond Grrl (which I have respected, of course), and others were too crazed in their lives/schedules to learn how to Comment/post. The best part about fEmpowerment Lifestyle Training is that you show up however works best for you – so if there’s just not enough time to work the Curriculum, or something big interrupts your call-in time, then you can always “catch up” through the Weekly Updates and Recordings. 

If you have any questions, you can call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Click below to download the Weekly Update document. It is in PDF format, so you may need to obtain the Adobe Reader if you do not have it on your computer already (it is free on www.Adobe.com).

The overall theme of my book and coaching practice = live your best, most passionate life. So these are the Top 10 Tips that came to me:

1. Clean House. Declutter your life of belongings, friends, commitments, and the like that do not feed your passion and fempower your Inner Bond Girl. (Empty your glass of beer to get champagne in there!)

2. Donate. Support fellow Bond Girls in your community by allowing the items you have freed from your life to reach their “next best use” with others. (Pour your beer into another grrl’s glass with water in it!)

3. Be Congruent. Coax Your Inner Bond Girl out by matching what you wear and the way you walk, talk, laugh and listen with who you are becoming.

4. Be Present in your Luscious Body, Now. Accept, love and nurture her as she is now, and explore her fempowered nature through sensual dancing, pole dancing, or the like.

5. Be Ready. Take advantage of every adventure and opportunity that comes your way, and structure your life to facilitate it. Learn to travel light and get out of Dodge in minutes.

6. Block out non-negotiable You Time. Give yourself a minimum of 10 minutes/day to dream and move that passion forward. Join a fempowerment group to move your life to the next level.

7. Be Adventurous. Do something you’re not good at, and stretch your horizons and your sense of humor.

8. Go Lean & Green. Fempowered women are not credit card-wielding, debt-accumulating consumers; they save and invest their $

9. Flex your Femininity. Be The Girl in your personal relationship, and take the lead in nurturing it – sex included

10. Be Self-Sufficient & Appreciative. All Bond Girls run their own businesses, live in the tropical paradises that Bond drops into as a government employee on an expense account, and take care of themselves BUT, they also know that men feel good taking care of them and are sensitive to it and appreciative. (Let him open the door, or the jar, when he offers.)

What would you add? Change? Let me know!

Each of these women completed a Fast Start document that discussed her life, the energy she is putting towards her goals (or towards things that she ranks as actually unimportant)… it covers financial issues, relationship issues… the works. She filled it out as completely or as quickly as she found time for. Nothing is ever mandatory. Each woman also completed two items of Curricula. The first discussed how to turn Adversity to Opportunity; the second deals with changing languaging skills by uncovering ”Psycho-Euphoric and Psycho-Phobic” words used in your business or your daily life.

Each member uses her “Bond Grrl Name,” which I have found helps women really be truthful, honest, and forthright in what she discusses with the group.

For the next two weeks, I will be posting here the information that I would normally have in a private, password-encoded file for the group. I have also asked them to post Comments here instead of sharing their process in a private forum, so that any readers who are interested can see what a typical first two weeks entails.

The first meeting of a group is always a little different than the subsequent ones. Each meeting uses a breathing exercise as an opener, then usually discusses the Curriculum for the week, then moves on to the Mastermind sessions for 1-2 of the participants. As the ‘homework’ behind the first meeting includes not only the Fast Start documentation but also 2 items of Curricula, it is always a bit more general and less focussed than the subsequent meetings.

If you have comments or questions, please call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Enjoy… click on the button below to Play. It has a second or two of silence at the beginning, so just wait a few counts, it will come on.

Ever seen da Vinci’s “The Last Supper”?

The Bite

Then you know food can be art. And that’s what the founders of Slow Food International – a nonprofit devoted to bringing back whole foods that are cooked and savored slowly – are all about. If you’re into food prepared the old-fashioned way (and with sustainability in mind), add slow foods to your daily menu for a more vibrant…er, palate.

The Benefits

• Eating becomes art. Getting to know ingredients, producers, and the cultural history behind our foods makes for more soul-satisfying meals.
• An easel way to avoid empty calories. Many additives in processed and fast foods are chemicals that lack nutritional value and sometimes wreak havoc on your health.
• Painting a greener landscape. The slow food movement promotes biodiversity of crops, organic farming, and the preservation of family (not factory) farms.
• An energy-saving Renaissance. Example: The production of a 1-pound box of cereal requires almost seven times as many kilocalories of energy as it provides in nourishment.

OK, you know, it’s the last one that gets me. I keep harping on posts like The Story of Stuff (long, but worth watching), but those are the things that astonish me.

When I posted my comment today on IdealBite, I was reminded of my Podcast 8 about Life-Affirming Rituals, including Saying Grace (start at 25:00 for this portion). As you may remember from that one, a student of mine wound up losing weight, literally just through the act of thanking the “folks” that had gotten the food to her. She used to eat in the car, standing up, junk-food-on-the run. When I suggested she and her husband start saying Grace over everything they ate, they originally balked because they “don’t do that God thing.” I explained that wasn’t what this was about — this was Giving Thanks to the farmers, truckers, plants, animals, etc. that got that food TO them. The actual physical energetic “beingness” that went into what they were putting in their mouth.

Once she started doing that, first, she found it ‘disrespectful’ to eat standing up. And in the car. She and her husband felt weird saying grace over take-out boxes, so they put the food on plates. Which made them stay at the table longer, and the Grace started them talking about something besides Their Hard Days. Ultimately they started cooking.  And she started losing weight.

If you have my book, check out page 127 for a reminder about Mindfulness versus “Guilt-Ridden Scarfing” — and a discussion about “sensory awareness” when eating. It also talks about Living CAMP (check out the “eating a banana” link).  If you don’t have my book, it’s not pretty, but I have a PDF copy of the page for you here as I originally sent it in to my publisher: guilty-pleasures-sidebar-page-127

How’s about starting a quickie Thankfulness Practice, today?  You’re GOING TO EAT IT ANYWAY, my dear, so…why not?

If you have comments on this episode, please call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

Today I was catching up on Zandria’s blog, and one of her comments was on being Single, and “doing something you’re not so good at/trying something new.” I wrote about this in my book, and she has a great perspective.  

When I was single, I did sort of a “regression analysis” (hey, I’m an attorney, so sue me) on the best places to “meet guys.” I had been bashed by relationship and was “older” then (late 30s) and really liked being “in relationship” so I wanted to figure out how to get back into one without doing something insane like hitting the bar/dance club scene. What it came down to was basically NASCAR and golf as being super man-rich “environments.”

I went to NASCAR with a grrlfriend and – yikes, boring beyond ALL boredom (if you’re a NASCAR fan I apologize), and SO LOUD.  But golf, even though I am AWFUL at it, was a GREAT thing. You can just go out and hit balls at a driving range, take some beginner classes (they’re always dead cheap — they try to ‘reel you in’), go to Play It Again Sports and get a golf set for not that much… and you really DO NOT have to be good.  There is a golf course in EVERY country (even Madagascar), and going and playing there you will ALWAYS meet guys, and it’s fun. The pro shop will have clubs for you to borrow.  If you decide to be a little more “interesting,” you can get a vintage putter for example, and just bring that -that’s the club that folks will comment on. (I have one from Scotland that was made from the rudder of the Queen Mary.)

Remember – I am TERRIBLE at golf.  But so long as you don’t hold the rest of your 4-some up (just pick the ball up, and tell them you owe them a beer… they’ll love you), it’s a GREAT place to meet guys, and you can tell their actual personality right off, too. (A guy I was kinda interested in threw his CLUB when he was upset at a shot he made and it BROKE – a handmade graphite club – NO THANKS. Step a-waaaaaaaaay from the Crazy Man…)

There are also groups just for women (e.g., EWC – Executive Women’s golfing Club) nationwide, where you get together with other professional women, usually on like a Tuesday or Wednesday after work, play a round and then have a glass of wine and laugh. It’s a fantastic networking thing, too.

Remember tho – it’s a game…. :-)

 S

PS:  My husband doesn’t play golf (figures, huh?) and so I’m a little out of practice now, but it’s on my “list” to get back to. It was such a great way to meet people and it’s good exercise too, if you don’t ride a cart.

Click here for a printable Bagua map (from www.wsfs.com).

I know it’s difficult to “imagine” the bagua square just from my talking about it, so this should help.

If you have comments on this episode, please call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl[dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen:

The video podcast that I refer to in this podcast is The Story Of Stuff by Annie Leonard. You can go back and find where I blogged about it a few weeks ago, or just click the link here. It’s a bit long, but it definitely explains the whole manufacturing process and Planned Obsolescence — I think this would be great to show kids.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

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From: merr<snip>

Hi All,
 
Did you know that Earth Hour takes place today?  What is this?  Well, apparently the idea started in Sydney last year, where between 8-9pm on 29th March, businesses and individual households turn off all their lights for one hour, to become a little more aware of the huge amount of power our daily lives consume. 

I’m writing this in the middle of “Earth Hour” (8.40pm Melbourne time), so I’m attempting to type by candle-light, which is a little difficult, particularly since the only candles I could find are scented ones, so I have “coffee” on one side and “ocean” on the other.  I think I’ll have to invest in some candle-sticks for next year! 

Last year about 2 million people in Australia participated, and this year I think it’ll be much more (it has received lots of publicity in the newspapers, etc).  Many cities around the world are also taking part, including San Francisco, I think.  Lots of buildings in cities are turning off all the lights for an hour, which is very cool. 

I snuck a look out my door, and it seems that most people in my street have turned out their lights too (or maybe they’re just out…).  I’ve also heard that some restaurants are taking part, so everyone will be eating by candle-light for an hour.  So, if you think of it, maybe you can have your own “earth-hour” tonight, between 8-9pm.  Its actually quite fun! 

Love and Happy “Earth Hour” — Merr 
 
Just a quick addition: I just read that last year it was hoped the energy consumption in Sydney might drop by 5% (during Earth Hour), but it actually dropped by 10%!  Isn’t that incredible?!  Even the Sydney Harbour Bridge & Opera House will be in darkness for the hour.  Cool!

 I was particularly interested in some of the quotes about “planned obsolescence.” I also had to ruefully smile when Annie points out that, after 9/11, the President could have asked us to grieve, to be compassionate, to come together… instead, what he told us to do was Shop. (True!)

I’m not particularly political, but I do have a strong feeling that we’re getting to that Al-Gore-Nobel-Peace-Prize “point of no return” when it comes to our resources.  This should lead to a change in priorities… and to having a good, long look at our lifestyle. One of the things that Annie points out is that the two biggest leisure activities in the U.S. are watching TV, and shopping.  And if you’re watching TV, you’re getting exposed to commercials, which are basically telling you that “You Suck” (her words, not mine) and that you need to buy their products, to “Not Suck.”  So you go to work, or maybe work two jobs, to buy the Stuff that the advertisements say will make you Not Suck, and then you’re so exhausted when you get home, all you can do is watch TV… when tells you that You Suck (dot dot dot)

I was also very interested that the whole “planned obsolescence”/concentration on Consumerism thing started in the 1950s — which was the “peak” of our Happiness Graph as a society (it’s fallen since that time).  Gee, maybe because instead of using stuff until we’re done with it, having extra time to spend with our families, etc. we are being bombarded with advertising that says We Suck, news that says The World Sucks, and feeling that the only way for it all to be fixed is — surprise! — to buy more!

Have a look — I think it would be great to watch this with the kids, too, and be ready for some hard questions from THEM, about how YOUR household fits into this mix.

I also received some Listener Feedback on our Listener Feedback line — I love it! Please call, keep me company! :-) This was from Clementine (her Bond Grrrrl name) on the Yankee portion of the East Coast somewhere. Her Mom has a GREAT method of sorting through all the bits of personal “stuff” that we all gather each year, and Clementine shared. Kudos to her and to her Mom, a Bond Grrrrrrrrrl family!

Finally, I talk a bit about bringing Ritual into your life this year. Rituals are so wonderful, and they are very much a part of the human culture. It could be thanking your teeth as you brush them, a Grace at every meal that you really pay attention to, or something of your own. If you have your own Rituals or make up one that you love, please share!

xoxoxo Solitaire

P.S.: So now, my James has to figure out how to post the Podcast. It seems highly likely (as, since you can see, we are on a new server and “such” now) that it’s not going to be pretty. I better go and shake a martini or three! :-)

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

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 1. Try everything twice. On Madam’s (of Whelan’s and Madam) tombstone she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice…loved it both times!

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down
  (keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches).

3. Keep learning: Learn more about computers, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with that person.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with you your entire life is you. Lost time can never be found. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.
  If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county,
  or a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity. 

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

12. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Oui, it is I, Solitaire, posting whilst on holiday with my James! It’s his birthday, and we’re driving down Highway 1 from San Francisco to Laguna Beach. Well, let’s say we HAVE been driving down the coast… I had great thoughts of blogging and podcasting my way down, and there has been absolutely N-O reception along the way. So, we’re here (Laguna Beach), after a bit of receptionist-wrangling (awful awful terrible dark room for our 3-day stay) and “stirring not shaking.” My James is off to get supplies (bless him) and so… here I be.

So what’s really on my mind now is Travel. I can’t get over how much easier it is to get out and about when I have my “gym bag” (with necessities) and my “makeup bag” all set to go. I took my own good advice (was that Podcast 3? Who can remind me?) and have put my contact lens fluid, conditioner, etc. in smaller bottles, and am dutifully chalking off the sides as we use them each day. I’m still working on the right bag for my makeup stuff, brushes, and the like. My dad gave me a bag for Xmas that I thought might work (because I want to use it… because he gave it to me…) and it’s just too big. Pfffft. Oh well.

Thusfar, we have stayed at an Inn in Carmel, and went to Clint Eastwood’s ranch/inn place for cocktails one evening. It was beyond a hoot. They do sort of cowboy karaoke, and most of the folks there are locals. If any of the pictures came out, I promise to burn them—oh, I mean post them. :-)

We went from there to Cambria, a WONDERFUL little town, and stayed at the J Patrick House. At their suggestion, we ate at Robin’s Restaurant — fab, fab, fab — at least we walked there so we could just roll ourselves home and spend a few calories at it.

Then we headed to Hearst Castle — a friend is the District Superintendent (read: Big Ranger Kahuna) at Hearst. He got us on a tour, and we were able to catch him between meetings. He said that Hearst was his first posting where he had to have “not one, but two tuxes.” Apparently the Governator likes to use it as his own private party spot, especially at Christmas. And who can blame him???

We met some folks at the Cambria B&B who suggested we stay at the Montecito Inn, in the “expensive part” of Santa Barbara. Lovely, lovely, though the walls were a bit thin. Amazing gym! We walked over to the Four Seasons/Biltmore Santa Barbara and had cocktails in front of their roaring fire—wow. We snuck in a “back way” so we didn’t have to come in the front door — we came in a side — and whether or not that really made a difference I don’t know.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

I know it’s difficult to “imagine” the bagua square just from my talking about it, so this should help. I tried to find one I could insert here — but most of the ones that are available on the internet are “Magnetic School” and more difficult to understand. I think that this one should help to envision “what I’m talking about” in podcast 4!!!!!

Let me know what you think about the podcasts! If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

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If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

This podcast introduces you to what being a Bond Girl is about being #1 in your passion, while also having the time and energy to be #1 at being #2 to your James. Dont bristle at the analogy until you listen to the podcast! Be brave. Be a Bond Girl.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

The conversation soon turned to complaints about the endless stress of work and life in general…

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an eclectic assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal – some plain, some expensive, some quite exquisite.

Quietly he told them to help themselves to some fresh coffee.

When each of his former students had a cup of coffee in hand, the old professor quietly cleared his throat and began to patiently address the small gathering.

”You may have noticed that all of the nicer looking cups were taken up first, leaving behind the plainer and cheaper ones. While it is only natural for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is actually the source of much of your stress-related problems! ”

He continued…’

‘Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In fact, the cup merely disguises or dresses up what we drink. What each of you really wanted was coffee, not a cup, but you instinctively went for the best cups… Then you began eyeing each other’s cups….” ‘

‘Now consider this: Life is coffee. Jobs, money, and position in society are merely cups. They are just tools to shape and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not truly define nor change the quality of the Life we live. Often, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee that God has provided us. God brews the coffee, but he does not supply the cups. Enjoy your coffee!”

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything – they just make the best of everything they have… So please remember: Live simply. Love generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the Rest to God. And remember – the richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.