For those of you who were not able to see the show yesterday (or the 3 of you who actually were in the studio audience – and accordingly have made it onto my “I Will Rescue You From A Mexican Jail” list!), here is the link to our interview yesterday. PLEASE leave me a comment and let me know what you think!!!

Here is the information that interested ABC-TV and the tips that we sent to them – I hope that you enjoy these as well!

Tips To Use To Increase Your Wellbeing In A Down Economy That Don’t Cost You Money AND Help You Lose Weight:
A No-Nonsense Approach to Relationship and Health Issues

 Introduction: Work/life balance is more crucial now than ever, given how the unexpected changes on Wall Street have affected the small business on Main Street, and trickled down into our homes and in particular our bedrooms. Our mission is to help women see dramatic changes in their lives, including better health (weight loss), increased happiness (more vibrant sex life & increased energy and drive) and improved financial security (additional money flowing into their businesses, if they are entrepreneurs). Statistics show a direct correlation between the stresses of work and the detrimental effect it has on a couple’s relationship and intimacy level; we’re teaming up to provide a no-nonsense approach to solving America’s relationship and health issues. Sandy and Sheila have a seminar coming up and the VFTB audience can go to www.empower180.com to receive information. Registered VFTB viewers will receive a 2 for one bonus on Sandy and Sheila’s books at the seminar.

1)     Women and Men are Different! (Your Life Will Be Easier The Sooner You Embrace This). 

1. Talk Your Belly Off… Women need to talk, talk, talk to get their oxytocin up, which raises levels of serotonin and decreases levels of cortisol, which is the “belly fat storing” chemical. So, decrease your stress and improve your relationship by simply putting 6 grrlfriends on your speed dial. Talking has been medically proven to be chemically necessary to women.  It will decrease your stress, and increase your receptivity to your husband and availability to your kids.
2. …Just Not To Your Husband! Men need to have a short To Do list and a goal to achieve. Men have on average 3x the serotonin of women – so if you are trying to “get your serotonin up” by talking things out with your husband instead of a woman, (a) he is going to start falling asleep like you just fed him a bunch of turkey, and (b) you’re going to frustrate the heck out of him as he’s trying to figure out the 3 things you want him to “do” while you’re on number 99 and talking a mile a minute!
3. Breathe Your Way To Wellbeing. There is also a VERY quick breathing exercise that increases a stress-reducing chemical in your body (nitric oxide) – this is one of Dr Oz’s favorites in fact – it’s important to know this breathing exercise (in through the nose on a 6 count, hold, then out on a 6 count) and “how to breathe” (into the belly versus raising the shoulders).
4. Your Husband Will Love To Hear This: More Sex Is Good.  Though we try to avoid thinking about this, we are all mammals, and touching, sensuality, and sex increases things you want to increase (feelings of wellbeing, bone density) and decreases things we want to decrease (depression, blood pressure, etc.) (here is the link to this page in Fempowerment book. If this link does not work, go to Amazon.com, search on book “Fempowerment” then use “Look Inside” feature and search on “osteoporosis” – it will take you to the correct page in the book with the facts list and references.)

2)     Create An EnvironMENTALLY Friendly Zone In Your Physical Space. Organization is key to decreasing stress and having time and space for your relationships – so take the time to clean your physical space. We all have areas of our life that are cluttered. Just as we discuss how to remove your mental clutter (next 2 tips), you need to de-clutter your physical environment.  When you get organized and de-clutter, you feel lighter and rightly so…You have lost weight in your home! This will allow you to lighten your mind and become more creative with your thoughts – and more receptive to your mate.

 3)     End The Endless To Do List. Women are extremely talented at multi-tasking.  Yet, there are only 24-hours in each day.  So, the best phrase you can learn to adopt is…”Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” Before you commit to the next task or project, pause and ask yourself if this is something that you can and want to do. If you instead go on a Guilt Trip, you will continue to find yourself on a never ending path of To-Dos. Another great tip is, instead of saying “Yes” – if “No” is too harsh –  get a concession. For example, “I can drop off the kids if you can pick them up tomorrow afternoon.” Exchanging will help you lead a more balanced – and happier – life. 

 4)     Dump your Head-Trash™ Sheila Stewart coined this phrase. It summarizes the little voices that pipe up in our heads at the most inopportune times.  These voices are the ones that sabotage you right when you are ready to step out and take a chance, or make a bold move.  These voices say things like, “Who do you think you are?  You’re too young.  You’re too old.  You don’t have enough money. Your friend failed, how can you succeed.”  And on, and on, and on.  We have over 30,000 negative thoughts every day.  This equates to 85% of our thoughts.  That means only 15% of our thoughts are positive.  The key is to dump the voices every day and reverse the statistic.  When the voices enter your mind, dump them out. 

 5)     Detox Your Relationships and Eliminate “Frenemies.”  Just as you detox your body to remove the excess and sludge that is causing fatigue and low energy, you must detox your relationships. Once we realize that our “Head Trash” often turns into gossip, fear, and stress in our lives, we can recognize and address the fact that our worst enemy is often “inside” of us – drawing toxic people to us. By doing a Frenemy (friends who are really enemies) Audit, we can create an environment that is filled with only clean and positive relationships. This includes friends, family, business colleagues – even clients!  When you evaluate each relationship, determine if it is helping you or hindering you.  If it is hindering you, time to detox! Wean off the toxic people slowly – but surely. The key is to become aware. We are becoming more aware of what we put in our bodies, yet we so often overlook what – and whom! – we surround our bodies with! Our challenge is to ramp it up in 2010 and create a healthy and wealthy mindset and lifestyle.

 6)     Become a Balancepreneur^TM.  There are five areas in any woman’s life, and Sheila coined this word to help women find their life balance. If she is “low” in one area, she can “borrow” from another area. For example, if she is low in money but high in her social relationships, she might find a way to turn a beloved recipe into an entrepreneurial venture! What does “balance” mean – to you?

Please take a look at the below – it’s an invitation from “The View From The Bay” for January 26th.

If you can, please come and support me!

FROM ABC-TV:

I would like to extend a special invitation to Sandra J. Shepard’s friends, family and colleagues to be in our studio audience the day that she will be appearing  on “The View From The Bay” – Tuesday 26^th, 2010.

Meet Spencer Christian and Janelle Wang and get a chance to see the behind the scenes of a live television broadcast. Tickets for the show must be reserved in advance. Audience doors open at 2:15pm with a cut-off time of 2:30pm, the show is live from 3-4pm.

To reserve your seats please call the ticket request line at (415)-954-7733 or visit www.viewfromthebay.com and click on “be in our audience” and fill out a ticket request form. Or click on the link below to go to our online ticket request form. Simply fill out your information and press submit.

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/feature?section=view_from_the_bay&id=6337461

Please be sure to note under “comments” that you are requesting a specific date to support Sandy on her scheduled show.

Please pass this email on to any friends, family or colleagues who may be interested in being in our studio audience.

*Please note that all seats must be reserved in advance. Tickets that have been requested will be sent via an email confirmation with detailed instruction on where and when to arrive at the ABC studio. Also note that audience members come in a separate entrance and time than guests appearing on the show.

Rachel Wyatt
Audience Coordinator
Rachel.Wyatt@abc.com

The View from the Bay

HEY! Sheila Stewart and I were interviewed on the talk radio show Your Time With Kim on How the Economy Affects Your Sex Life. Sheila and I met a while back when we were each speaking at a gig, and then I interviewed Sheila a few podcasts back. We had so much fun, we put the show on the road!

(This is a little break back into my “real life” and away from the Trials and Tribulations of turning CouchPotatoWoman into IronWoman!)

 

 Sex and the Economy: Talk Radio Interview on "Your Time With Kim" Show: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Today is a “Down Day” on the triathlon schedule. And it’s a down day for me, too.

Last night H “sat me down” (after I was complaining how exhausted I was – went to bed in the very early evening in fact), and said that he had been “thinking about it” and this “Ironman thing” was a VERY bad idea, and that if he had known more about it or thought more, he would never have said it would be Okay. As he said last night, he believes that I should have started, for example, with a Century bike ride as my “goal” (part of the Ironman, and something I can’t do yet, either), because he would have done it TOO, it would have been something we could have trained for together (like our hike down the Alps, the Big Sur marathon, etc.), and then I could “still” do the Ironman next year . . . and make my self-imposed “before I’m 50″ deadline.

The thing is – I’m already IN. I’m sure there are “ways out” – but I don’t really WANT to be out. But he’s really very upset about things, like the fact that every day of the weekend (both days) there are “trainings” that I need to go to. Not like, generally, we would be doing anything significant from 9-12 on a Saturday or Sunday. But the deal is, that I will be GONE, and that I will likely come home and be tired. This weekend is the first trial of this – I have a 20 mile (oy!) bike ride Saturday morning, then a swim/run brick (in San Remote – oh I mean Ramone – no less) on Sunday. I am going to see if he will at least meet me/us on Saturday after the ride if we get something to eat, but my guess is, he won’t. And so probably staying after to have lunch or whatever they will do is a nonstarter for me. Because adding a whole social layer of friends that don’t have anything to do with him will be just Bad.

I actually get where he is coming from. If he suddenly “announced” he was going to get competition-level in Ballroom and so it would mean he would be doing a training similar to what I’m doing, I am not sure I would be happy about it. In fact, I’d probably be pissed off. And the fact that the time would just increase as training got tougher would piss me off even more. So I “get it.”

Who knows, maybe this was a big fat mistake. I haven’t said the fateful words, “Do you really want me to quit, I will find out how” yet, because I do not WANT to quit. It would be ONLY because he wants me to. But if the shoe were on the other foot, well…I would probably be feeling the same way he is. He’d be out, meeting other folks, socializing, etc. and it wouldn’t have anything to do with me or forwarding our relationship. It wouldn’t be something that “we” had chosen with our precious off time. Dunno. Maybe I was really way, way too fast at jumping into this.

Hence my getting up at 3 a.m. this morning and being unable to get back to sleep…

OK, THAT, and the fact that the more this goes on, the more it looks like a Richy Rich sport. I am SERIOUS. First, it’s just “anticipated” that everyone’s going to get a bike trainer. A used one is $100. (A bike trainer is a little contraption you put your bike on that spins the wheel and allows you to ride inside, if you didn’t know that.) THEN we’re told that we have to get bike pants – no, TWO pair of bike pants – where “the good ones, which are all you are going to want” start at $60. SIXTY BUCKS! For now, no trainer for me, and I’m going to have to make do with my 15 year old bike shorts, which have a small pad of chamois (leather) on the inside. OK, and underwear, and a pad (to be graphic). The idea of being “told” to shell out $ for this, that and the other is freaking me out. It’s assumed. YES, I will admit, that the short ride I took a few days ago I am STILL sore from. But the biking portion (which is always the one I like the least) is getting more, and more, and MORE expensive as it goes on. I guess it’s the one section with “Gear.” But holy cow. I had to break the bank to get my bike tuned up ($85, something like that) . MAYBE in a while I will get clipless pedals (seems unlikely), but that means you have to buy pedals AND shoes. Oh, and pants. And a trainer. And…

I did, however, get to realize why bikers wear those dorky bike shirts with the pockets in the back. I wore a jacket and put my stuff in the pockets, but when you’re riding, the weight of the stuff in your pockets pulls the pockets down and around, so that they’re right in front of your crotch. Not so comfy. However, not quite sure how the “back pockets” really work, as they are open. Seems like not the smartest place for a wallet and a blackberry, which is what I had. I guess I will learn….(I was given a bike shirt on the first day, because the bike guy asked if anyone did NOT have a bike jersey and I was one of about 1/2 dozen that raised my hand. Then I couldn’t wear it when I went out, because I felt like such a dork in it. I guess I will get over it – not sure I will wear it on this group ride on Saturday, I guess I should…)

Yeah, I’m down on the Down day. I’m really feeling like this was a huge fat mistake. The biking $$ piling up gets me so down that it makes my eyes tear up and my nose itch. The fact that H is not behind me on this – not that he should be, I think this was a pretty doggone selfish choice on my part, and probably not thought through, especially when I haven’t had any income for nearly 1/2 a year – is sort of the crushing blow.

Time to get outside and go grocery shopping – where are those coupons…mac and cheese, anyone…?

Before I signed up for the Louisville Ironman Triathlon in August 2010, I actually called and discussed it with my husband. We were on the phone for quite some time, discussing time commitment, work versus workout, and lots of things like that. I was actually trying to convince him to do it with me – he said no, but said he’d like to bike more, so he’d love to be part of the rides I need to do on my own, blah blah. Cool. Signed. A little scared, but signed.

I took my old tri bike (15 years “young”) to our local bike shop, and they worked it over. It was finished today, so I went to pick it up. Did like it when the little cutie-that-could-be-my-son (laugh) gushed about what a “classic” it was, and how he felt (I had actually voiced a concern) that he thought it could “totally tough it out” for an ironman. (As I have no dinero for another bike, that was good to hear.)

So I brought the bike home, and Hizzoner and I were talking about the training. I said something to him about wondering whether I would need to get broader handlebars (something I had considered a decade ago when I stopped doing tris, because my shoulders would get sore). The conversation went like this:

He: “Why are you worried? You’re not going to be on the bike all that long.”

Me: “Um, 100 miles is pretty doggone long.”

He: “What are you TALKING about? I mean all at once.”

Me: “Honey the race itself is over 100 miles, then you have to add training and stuff.”

He: “You’re doing a triathlon!”

Me: “Honey, I told you I was doing an IRONMAN triathlon. We went over this when I called you before I signed up.”

He: “WHAT? I thought you were just exaggerating!”

Me: “I’ve been talking about this and freaked out nonstop since I signed – I said I-ron-Man are you telling me you did not hear that?”

He: “Of course I did. But I thought you were just exchanging the word for triathlon. Or exaggerating. What the heck did you sign up for??”

Me: “You did, however, hear me and AGREE that I could do the I-ron-Man Tri-A-thlon in August next year, right? You heard that, right?”

He: “Well, yes, but I just thought you were mistaken.”

Me: “I’m signed up, you know. There isn’t any backing out now. I told you I wanted to do an Ironman before I turned 50. This is an Ironman. I’m approaching 50. I’m puzzled about what you were thinking…?”

He: “Well, yes, you’ve said that for the past 4 years. But I didn’t think you were really signing UP for it…”

Yeah. Really. He’s now a little spazzed out. Though I think he understands a bit more why ~I~ have been spazzed out. Funny though. Husbands hear weird.

In this, the final episode in my “Sex and Sensuality” series, I discuss sensuality and some of the differences between men and women. I also discuss human sexual response and how you, as a fEmpowered woman, need to get over yourself and get involved in your own sex life. This episode ends with my visit to one of the most acclaimed whorehouses (“bordellos”) in the Vegas area, Sheri’s Ranch, where I interviewed one of the women (courtesans, ladies of the evening, whores) about her job. What you hear about this visit MIGHT surprise you.

Click below to play the podcast:

 

 Episode 17: Keeping Your Sex Life off Life Support, & What Men REALLY Want: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

This episode is “Just the Facts, Ma’am”! In the penultimate (second-to-last) podcast in the “Sex and Sensuality” series, we’ll discuss lubrication, ben wa balls, vibrators (yes, really!), some sex tips for those of you who just don’t think that sex is “that important”…and finally, a game to play to excite both you and your James!

To listen to the podcast, click here:

 

 Sex Facts, Tips, & a Game for you and your James!: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Yes – it’s ME again! In this episode, we discuss James Bond and marriage for a bit – yes, Bond got married, if you didn’t know that! – and then we move on to reclaiming your sensual spark, and some easy traits that us Mere Mortals could adopt that Sex Goddesses use to rock their Jameses!

If you’d like to hear the podcast, click below:

 

 Episode 15: Traits of Sex Goddesses: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

And don’t forget – Sheila Stewart and I are speaking on October 7th in Sacramento on “What Women Want”! Come on down, and have a blast with us! (I might actually be able to get Sheila to do a Bonus Interview beforehand . . . if so we will be SO LUCKY because this woman is the Bomb and SUCH a Bond Grrrrrrl!)

This episode starts a series about taking charge of your relationship with your James – ending ultimately with a podcast just about S-E-X! But in this one, we talk about taking charge of your relationship, and how taking care of your James can change YOUR life.  If you think that you’re a Bond Grrl but you’re really just a Princess honey, well . . . you’re not going to LIKE it . . . (smile)
Click here to listen to the podcast:

 

 Episode 14: Take Charge Of Your Relationship!!: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

And to the right is the flyer for our What Women Want chat in Sacramento on October 17th. If you come, introduce yourself to me, and mention the podcast, I will give you a free hour of personal coaching! Yes, really!

Last week, I had the honor of being interviewed by Dr. Claudia Six from “Six on Sex.”  (I’m still having trouble uploading photographs, but if you click on the link above, you will be able to see Dr. Six). Dr. Six and I both attended the same school for Sexology, it turns out, though she went on to get her doctorate; she has her Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology and is Board Certified by the American Board of Sexology.

Dr. Six has a great podcast, which is about Erotic Integrity. She interviews local personalities about what Erotic Integrity means to them, and how Erotic Integrity shows up in their work and in their lives. As stated by Dr. Six, “Erotic Integrity is about the humanity of sex, not the acrobatics. It’s about being true to one’s erotic self.”

I strongly recommend downloading and listening to her podcasts. Dr. Six is a fantastic person, and a wealth of information! Not only that, Sheila Kelley’s S Factor has offered anyone who listens to the podcast and mentions it to their local S Factor half off on an introductory S Factor session through 2008. I discussed how working out at S Factor really has helped me to release my “Erotic Creature,” and S Factor has generously offered the ability to any of Dr. Six and my listeners!

Here are a couple of other links that we discuss in the podcast:
Dr. Michael Roizen and Dr. Mehmet Oz’s website (put “sex” in the Search Box in the very top, blue bar to get some of the sex facts that we discuss in the podcast)

Sheri’s Ranch website link

Click below to listen to the interview:

 

 Interview on Six on Sex [27:51m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

This Coffee Chat podcast is with Alison Armstrong of PAX Programs Incorporated. PAX, which is an acronym for Partnership, Adoration and Xtsay, creates peace between the sexes by providing unique and immediately useful information to women on understanding men. Their products, CDs, DVDs and workshops can be found at UnderstandMen.com.

As stated on their website, “PAX…is passionate about altering our society’s culture by transforming the way women relate to men. [PAX provides] extraordinary information with which women can profoundly affect their relationships with men of all ages and in all circumstances. [PAX is] dedicated to having this priceless information in the hearts and minds of one million women. [PAX intends] to accomplish this with fun, integrity, intelligence, courage and in partnership with both masculine and feminine forms of power.”  Read more about PAX’s mission by clicking here. Sounds like fEmpowerment, no?

As promised, please find the links to:

* Alison’s website
* writing to Oprah about how you felt hearing about Alison in this Podcast;
* watching Alison on Utube:
- “How Women Speak: There Is No Point!” (part 1 of 3)
- “How Women Speak: Life-Threatening Details” (part 2 of 3)
- “How Women Speak: It’s All About Flow” (part 3 of 3)

- “How Women Think: What Focus???” (part 1 of 3)
- “How Women Think: How Do You Get Her Attention?” (part 2 of 3)
- “How Women Think: Multi-Tasking During Sex?” (part 3 of 3)

- “How Women Feel: Crashing The System” (part 1 of 2)
- “How Women Feel: The Rage Monster” (part 2 of 2)

- “How to NOT Change A Man: Why Criticism Doesn’t Work”
- “How To Change A Woman: The SLIGHTEST Criticism Will Do”

 I hope you enjoy this podcast, and please let me know if there are other experts you might like to hear interviewed on our Coffee Chats.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

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 Interview with Alison Armstrong, UnderstandMen.com: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download