sexy - or just hungry?

Too funny not to share – from Coach Sedonia. :-)

A dating guide to understanding your triathlete (or runner or cyclist…)

 ”I am an outdoors type of person.” Really means: I train in any type of weather. If it’s raining, snowing, 90 degrees w/100% humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don’t want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you’re just a big wuss for complaining about it.

 ”I enjoy riding my bike.” Really means: With or without aero bars, alone or in a peloton, I don’t care. If you can’t do a spur of the moment 30 miler then you’re not my type. I will let you draft, but if you can’t hang and I drop you – I will see you later. I am a capable mechanic, but don’t expect me to change your flats or tune your bike. You need to learn that on your own.

 ”I enjoy jogging.” Really means: Let’s run hills until we puke. I have just as many shoes as you only mine are better because they are functional and all look the same.

 ”I enjoy dining out.” Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere else I can find food. Don’t be shy because with the amount of food I eat, you can have that main entree instead of a salad and you will still look as though you eat like a rabbit in comparison. Don’t get your limbs too close though as I may take a bite out of you. Most importantly don’t expect any taste off my plate unless you can bring something to the party like more food. Eventually though if you’re not burning 4,000+ calories a day you’re going to plump up and have a terrible complex due to watching me eat desserts and not gain any weight. Friends and family will eventually decide not to dine with us anymore due to my horrid table manners. Oh, and no talking during breakfast, 2nd breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, afternoon lunch, dinner or recovery dinner as it does not lend to efficient food intake.

 ”I enjoy quiet walks on the beach.” Really means: A 20 minute warmup walk on the beach breaking into an 8 mile run and then plunging myself in the ocean for a 2 miler. If you get in my way, you’re going to find out what “mass start” means, and let me assure you that you don’t want to find out.

 “I find fulfilment in charitable work.” Really means: If I am not racing, I am volunteering or cheering on my buddies and I expect you to be there alongside me as I stand out in 90 degree weather for 8-18 hours handing out sports drink to cyclists going 20 mph. Just stick the ol’ arm out there and hope it doesn’t get taken off.

 ”I enjoy sharing quiet moments together.” Really means: It’s taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing, trying to get into the zone and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my “A” race and can’t work out.

 ”I am an active person.” Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job (and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night), 10 hours a week are devoted to myself during the off-season and 20 during race season – leaving us 4 hours. 2 of which will be spent inhaling food and you not talking to me (see above), so let’s make the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day.

 NOTE: If you are a licensed message therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know just as much as you.

 ”I enjoy road trips and vacations.” Really means: You have your choice of British Columbia, Louisville, Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona, and New York, but don’t expect to do much site seeing. But if I get enough support from you, we might be able to include Hawaii in there.

 ”I enjoy sightseeing.” Really means: Let’s grab a mountain bike and get our HR’s up to 90% powering up the hill. There’s plenty of time to look around on the descent as trees and bushes whiz by at 40 mph.

 ”I like stimulating conversation.” Really means: while we are running, we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape we are, how many miles we did last week, and how many we will do this week and next week. Then we can talk about food.

 ”I enjoy relaxing soaks in the tub.” Really Means: I’m going to stop on the way home and buy two bags of ice, throw them in the tub with some water, and sit in this torture chamber for 30 minutes.

 ”I’m interested in photography.” Really Means: My camera is permanently perched on a tripod in front of my trainer. I obsess over taking photos of my bike position and analyzing them to get the perfect set-up.

 ”I’m into in technology.” Really Means: My heart rate monitor and bike computer are my best friends. Until you can give me some hard data that can improve my training, don’t bother trying to buddy up to me. You could one day break into the top three if you recognize and feed my dependancy by buying me more gear.

 Article courtesy of an anonymous Triathlete who is likely still single, from Toronto, and who competed rather well the Lake Placid Ironman in 2006. For a small fee we’ll connect you to this handsome and successful individual…(works “downtown” Toronto in the “money business”)

Here is the information that interested ABC-TV and the tips that we sent to them – I hope that you enjoy these as well!

Tips To Use To Increase Your Wellbeing In A Down Economy That Don’t Cost You Money AND Help You Lose Weight:
A No-Nonsense Approach to Relationship and Health Issues

 Introduction: Work/life balance is more crucial now than ever, given how the unexpected changes on Wall Street have affected the small business on Main Street, and trickled down into our homes and in particular our bedrooms. Our mission is to help women see dramatic changes in their lives, including better health (weight loss), increased happiness (more vibrant sex life & increased energy and drive) and improved financial security (additional money flowing into their businesses, if they are entrepreneurs). Statistics show a direct correlation between the stresses of work and the detrimental effect it has on a couple’s relationship and intimacy level; we’re teaming up to provide a no-nonsense approach to solving America’s relationship and health issues. Sandy and Sheila have a seminar coming up and the VFTB audience can go to www.empower180.com to receive information. Registered VFTB viewers will receive a 2 for one bonus on Sandy and Sheila’s books at the seminar.

1)     Women and Men are Different! (Your Life Will Be Easier The Sooner You Embrace This). 

1. Talk Your Belly Off… Women need to talk, talk, talk to get their oxytocin up, which raises levels of serotonin and decreases levels of cortisol, which is the “belly fat storing” chemical. So, decrease your stress and improve your relationship by simply putting 6 grrlfriends on your speed dial. Talking has been medically proven to be chemically necessary to women.  It will decrease your stress, and increase your receptivity to your husband and availability to your kids.
2. …Just Not To Your Husband! Men need to have a short To Do list and a goal to achieve. Men have on average 3x the serotonin of women – so if you are trying to “get your serotonin up” by talking things out with your husband instead of a woman, (a) he is going to start falling asleep like you just fed him a bunch of turkey, and (b) you’re going to frustrate the heck out of him as he’s trying to figure out the 3 things you want him to “do” while you’re on number 99 and talking a mile a minute!
3. Breathe Your Way To Wellbeing. There is also a VERY quick breathing exercise that increases a stress-reducing chemical in your body (nitric oxide) – this is one of Dr Oz’s favorites in fact – it’s important to know this breathing exercise (in through the nose on a 6 count, hold, then out on a 6 count) and “how to breathe” (into the belly versus raising the shoulders).
4. Your Husband Will Love To Hear This: More Sex Is Good.  Though we try to avoid thinking about this, we are all mammals, and touching, sensuality, and sex increases things you want to increase (feelings of wellbeing, bone density) and decreases things we want to decrease (depression, blood pressure, etc.) (here is the link to this page in Fempowerment book. If this link does not work, go to Amazon.com, search on book “Fempowerment” then use “Look Inside” feature and search on “osteoporosis” – it will take you to the correct page in the book with the facts list and references.)

2)     Create An EnvironMENTALLY Friendly Zone In Your Physical Space. Organization is key to decreasing stress and having time and space for your relationships – so take the time to clean your physical space. We all have areas of our life that are cluttered. Just as we discuss how to remove your mental clutter (next 2 tips), you need to de-clutter your physical environment.  When you get organized and de-clutter, you feel lighter and rightly so…You have lost weight in your home! This will allow you to lighten your mind and become more creative with your thoughts – and more receptive to your mate.

 3)     End The Endless To Do List. Women are extremely talented at multi-tasking.  Yet, there are only 24-hours in each day.  So, the best phrase you can learn to adopt is…”Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” Before you commit to the next task or project, pause and ask yourself if this is something that you can and want to do. If you instead go on a Guilt Trip, you will continue to find yourself on a never ending path of To-Dos. Another great tip is, instead of saying “Yes” – if “No” is too harsh –  get a concession. For example, “I can drop off the kids if you can pick them up tomorrow afternoon.” Exchanging will help you lead a more balanced – and happier – life. 

 4)     Dump your Head-Trash™ Sheila Stewart coined this phrase. It summarizes the little voices that pipe up in our heads at the most inopportune times.  These voices are the ones that sabotage you right when you are ready to step out and take a chance, or make a bold move.  These voices say things like, “Who do you think you are?  You’re too young.  You’re too old.  You don’t have enough money. Your friend failed, how can you succeed.”  And on, and on, and on.  We have over 30,000 negative thoughts every day.  This equates to 85% of our thoughts.  That means only 15% of our thoughts are positive.  The key is to dump the voices every day and reverse the statistic.  When the voices enter your mind, dump them out. 

 5)     Detox Your Relationships and Eliminate “Frenemies.”  Just as you detox your body to remove the excess and sludge that is causing fatigue and low energy, you must detox your relationships. Once we realize that our “Head Trash” often turns into gossip, fear, and stress in our lives, we can recognize and address the fact that our worst enemy is often “inside” of us – drawing toxic people to us. By doing a Frenemy (friends who are really enemies) Audit, we can create an environment that is filled with only clean and positive relationships. This includes friends, family, business colleagues – even clients!  When you evaluate each relationship, determine if it is helping you or hindering you.  If it is hindering you, time to detox! Wean off the toxic people slowly – but surely. The key is to become aware. We are becoming more aware of what we put in our bodies, yet we so often overlook what – and whom! – we surround our bodies with! Our challenge is to ramp it up in 2010 and create a healthy and wealthy mindset and lifestyle.

 6)     Become a Balancepreneur^TM.  There are five areas in any woman’s life, and Sheila coined this word to help women find their life balance. If she is “low” in one area, she can “borrow” from another area. For example, if she is low in money but high in her social relationships, she might find a way to turn a beloved recipe into an entrepreneurial venture! What does “balance” mean – to you?

If you are going to be in the audience – thanks in advance! If you can’t make it, here is the link to the live feed!

I’m on with another gal, and we only have 4 minutes. I hope that it goes well! Now to go shower, get my duds on (and makeup – huh what’s that?) then off and running!

Here’s our writeup and topic – our “Tips” will be posted on the View From The Bay website, and I will link them here later on today or tomorrow. They run to 3 pages – for a 4 minute interview! Oh dear!

Increase Your Wellbeing In A Down Economy with Tips  That Don’t Cost You Money AND Help You Lose Weight:
A No-Nonsense Approach to Relationship and Health Issues

Introduction: Work/life balance is more crucial now than ever, given how the unexpected changes on Wall Street have affected the small business on Main Street, and trickled down into our homes and in particular our bedrooms. Our mission is to help women see dramatic changes in their lives, including better health (weight loss), increased happiness (more vibrant sex life & increased energy and drive) and improved financial security (additional money flowing into their businesses, if they are entrepreneurs). Statistics show a direct correlation between the stresses of work and the detrimental effect it has on a couple’s relationship and intimacy level; we’re teaming up to provide a no-nonsense approach to solving America’s relationship and health issues. Sandy and Sheila have a seminar coming up and the VFTB audience can go to www.empower180.com to receive information. Registered VFTB viewers will receive a 2 for one bonus on Sandy and Sheila’s books at the seminar. 

Tips To Use To

(This is a little break back into my “real life” and away from the Trials and Tribulations of turning CouchPotatoWoman into IronWoman!)

Last night H “sat me down” (after I was complaining how exhausted I was – went to bed in the very early evening in fact), and said that he had been “thinking about it” and this “Ironman thing” was a VERY bad idea, and that if he had known more about it or thought more, he would never have said it would be Okay. As he said last night, he believes that I should have started, for example, with a Century bike ride as my “goal” (part of the Ironman, and something I can’t do yet, either), because he would have done it TOO, it would have been something we could have trained for together (like our hike down the Alps, the Big Sur marathon, etc.), and then I could “still” do the Ironman next year . . . and make my self-imposed “before I’m 50″ deadline.

The thing is – I’m already IN. I’m sure there are “ways out” – but I don’t really WANT to be out. But he’s really very upset about things, like the fact that every day of the weekend (both days) there are “trainings” that I need to go to. Not like, generally, we would be doing anything significant from 9-12 on a Saturday or Sunday. But the deal is, that I will be GONE, and that I will likely come home and be tired. This weekend is the first trial of this – I have a 20 mile (oy!) bike ride Saturday morning, then a swim/run brick (in San Remote – oh I mean Ramone – no less) on Sunday. I am going to see if he will at least meet me/us on Saturday after the ride if we get something to eat, but my guess is, he won’t. And so probably staying after to have lunch or whatever they will do is a nonstarter for me. Because adding a whole social layer of friends that don’t have anything to do with him will be just Bad.

I actually get where he is coming from. If he suddenly “announced” he was going to get competition-level in Ballroom and so it would mean he would be doing a training similar to what I’m doing, I am not sure I would be happy about it. In fact, I’d probably be pissed off. And the fact that the time would just increase as training got tougher would piss me off even more. So I “get it.”

Who knows, maybe this was a big fat mistake. I haven’t said the fateful words, “Do you really want me to quit, I will find out how” yet, because I do not WANT to quit. It would be ONLY because he wants me to. But if the shoe were on the other foot, well…I would probably be feeling the same way he is. He’d be out, meeting other folks, socializing, etc. and it wouldn’t have anything to do with me or forwarding our relationship. It wouldn’t be something that “we” had chosen with our precious off time. Dunno. Maybe I was really way, way too fast at jumping into this.

Hence my getting up at 3 a.m. this morning and being unable to get back to sleep…

OK, THAT, and the fact that the more this goes on, the more it looks like a Richy Rich sport. I am SERIOUS. First, it’s just “anticipated” that everyone’s going to get a bike trainer. A used one is $100. (A bike trainer is a little contraption you put your bike on that spins the wheel and allows you to ride inside, if you didn’t know that.) THEN we’re told that we have to get bike pants – no, TWO pair of bike pants – where “the good ones, which are all you are going to want” start at $60. SIXTY BUCKS! For now, no trainer for me, and I’m going to have to make do with my 15 year old bike shorts, which have a small pad of chamois (leather) on the inside. OK, and underwear, and a pad (to be graphic). The idea of being “told” to shell out $ for this, that and the other is freaking me out. It’s assumed. YES, I will admit, that the short ride I took a few days ago I am STILL sore from. But the biking portion (which is always the one I like the least) is getting more, and more, and MORE expensive as it goes on. I guess it’s the one section with “Gear.” But holy cow. I had to break the bank to get my bike tuned up ($85, something like that) . MAYBE in a while I will get clipless pedals (seems unlikely), but that means you have to buy pedals AND shoes. Oh, and pants. And a trainer. And…

I did, however, get to realize why bikers wear those dorky bike shirts with the pockets in the back. I wore a jacket and put my stuff in the pockets, but when you’re riding, the weight of the stuff in your pockets pulls the pockets down and around, so that they’re right in front of your crotch. Not so comfy. However, not quite sure how the “back pockets” really work, as they are open. Seems like not the smartest place for a wallet and a blackberry, which is what I had. I guess I will learn….(I was given a bike shirt on the first day, because the bike guy asked if anyone did NOT have a bike jersey and I was one of about 1/2 dozen that raised my hand. Then I couldn’t wear it when I went out, because I felt like such a dork in it. I guess I will get over it – not sure I will wear it on this group ride on Saturday, I guess I should…)

Yeah, I’m down on the Down day. I’m really feeling like this was a huge fat mistake. The biking $$ piling up gets me so down that it makes my eyes tear up and my nose itch. The fact that H is not behind me on this – not that he should be, I think this was a pretty doggone selfish choice on my part, and probably not thought through, especially when I haven’t had any income for nearly 1/2 a year – is sort of the crushing blow.

Time to get outside and go grocery shopping – where are those coupons…mac and cheese, anyone…?

You’ve all heard me talking on a couple of podcasts about our upcoming event in October with Empower180.com in their “What Women Want” Series. Sheila and my working subtitle for our part in the series is, Recession proof your relationship: How the economy is affecting you in the bedroom.

As a few of you have asked what the seminar will be about, let me give you a bit more information. Sheila and I will be addressing American’s health, relationship and financial woes with practical, realistic advice.

In today’s volatile economy, it’s not just businesses’ bank accounts that are suffering; entrepreneurs’ intimate lives are detrimentally influenced by the stresses of keeping a small business afloat. It’s all about the she-conomy and how women must balance being everything for everyone with trying to find time and space for their passions.

As you know, I’m passionate about helping women weave sensual femininity into their daily lives. My part of the evening will include a lot of rousing “body chemistry enhancing” moments – don’t be scared! If you come you will have a BLAST.

Balancepreneur Sheila Stewart, a serial entrepreneur & author of Backwards in High Heels: A Woman’s Guide to Succeeding in Business, is an expert in teaching harmony between the five life accounts (Money, Relationships, Spirituality, Health and Network). She says that a work/life balance is more crucial now than ever, given how the unexpected changes on Wall Street have affected the small business on Main Street.

Our clients have seen dramatic changes in their lives, including better health (weight loss), increased happiness (more vibrant sex life & increased energy and drive) and improved financial security (additional money flowing into their businesses).  Statistics show a direct correlation between the stresses of work and the detrimental effect it has on a couple’s relationship and intimacy level.

We hope on October 7th to give you a little taste of Sheila’s Balancepreneur program and my fEmpowerment Finishing School & Training Academy, to provide you with a no-nonsense approach to solving your – and America’s! – relationship and health issues.

Click below to get to the interview – you’ll love it!

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/32218342?gt1=43001/from/ET

about 50 times now. Yes, this is exactly what I said I was going to do after writing Fempowerment: A Guide To Unleashing Your Inner Bond Girl. In fact, if you look at their shirts, their “gal” looks suspiciously like mine.

Bitter, party of one….

I hate that I was not “event-planning-organized” enough to move forward on this. I’m also upset and maybe frightened that some one that I sent a treatment to (including a reality TV show guy) might just have plain ripped me off. I have heard from some of the vendors I visited in Las Vegas, and they tried to soothe me with the idea that what we were considering was “better” and that I have the soup to nuts book, etc. – but who’s on the Today Show?

I wish I had it in me to be an event planner. Seriously. I have that entire treatment for the reality show, and all of our hard work in Vegas with what “would happen” on this. These gals aren’t “really” shooting guns, doing hand-to-hand, etc. – like we were setting up. But no matter. They’re doing it.

I have to go crawl into bed now.

Sounds pretty good, eh? The problem is – this is what I ate when I returned home from a FABOO workshop (more on that in a second) – at 11:00 last night! And then SLEPT on it!

AND I had dinner, too, at a more “regular time.” So why did I eat this? Because my darlin’ husband was sitting on the couch, watching a new TV show (Warehouse 13, something like that) eating it, and it looked good. Noooo I was not “hungry.”

We’re not talkin’ a taste. We are talkin’ serious blue cheese hunkage.

Now that I signed up to be a BeachBody coach, I am being way more conscientous about getting out and doing SOMETHING to move my body every day (even if it’s walking the dog, instead of just “letting him outside”). I even did an “accountability partnership thang” with Sheila Stewart last night after her chat at Empower180 – we both have, as she lovingly put it, “pork chops” on our sides, and so we’re going to text each other to get movin’.

See, the thing is though, this just doesn’t keep me away from the food. Even when we were on that yoga retreat in Peru…my hubby is like James Bond in From Russia With Love. Remember the suitcase full of caviar, champagne, etc. that he snuck into the “Health Spa”? That’s my “James”! We went “over the wall” – dining on wine, beef, alpaca, cuy, you name it, while everyone else was having vegetarian. Yeah, bad. just SO BAD. Then we would sleep IN and not do the yoga in the morning…!!!

I start out really well in the mornings. I usually have a cup of Creme Caramel tea with a little stevia, and a Shakeology shake. The “Creme Caramel” tea is one of those Lipton teas that if you add a tiny bit of stevia (which doesn’t increase your insulin), tastes GREAT and has no calories. I have a sweet tooth, what can I say (heck, I have a FOOD tooth!), and I love starting my day out with one of these, especially if I can sip it when out walking the dog.

For lunch, I’m usually good too! I might have a snack in between breakfast and lunch of a chicken leg – then lunch a big salad, something like that. THEN….3:00 happens.

I turn into like Solitaire Jekyl. I will eat ANYTHING that’s in my way. And I don’t care. I have the “good Soli” in the back of my head saying “hello, get your HAND OUT OF THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS and WHAT are you doing with a glass of wine?” – but I don’t listen to her. I’m sure there is some chemical reason – brain dip, serotonin dip, avocado dip…whatever. I’m sure I should do something like work out at 3:00. But Evil Soli takes over and it’s OVER! I’m watching Bones reruns on TV and snacking on whatever I can find. Then I make dinner for my James, snacking all the while, and eat that, too!

Mind you, there isn’t that much “bad stuff” left in the house (the Evil Girl Scout Cookies and chocolate chips are gone now) - but my hubby loves to bring home things like baguettes and cheese. Somehow, he has no problem taking a small slice of cheese, and then a slice of bread, and munching on that, and calling it a day. Me? I’m like a freakin’ wolverine, I just wallow in the stuff. Bad ferret. Bad.

My brain says that I am working so hard on all other stuff – NOT spending $, 3 businesses, coaching, relationship, etc. – that it just doesn’t want to “deal with” this issue “too.” I have made a “deal” with my brain (scary how that happens, innit?) – that if I keep working out every day (yes, walking the dog counts as working out, because I wasn’t doing it before), I won’t bother it right now about the food rampages. Working out every day AND getting onto a more even keel foodwise makes my little brain stamp its tiny little feet in tantrum.

But I DO KNOW that the reason I don’t really want to work out – the reason that it’s hard for me to even walk uphill with the dog without huffing and puffing – is BECAUSE I’m doing things like eating hunks of Stilton on baguettes and drinking red wine and then going to bed right afterwards. I’m lucky I don’t wake up with a cheese-shaped hunk sticking out of my thigh. I DO KNOW that’s why I feel like crap. I do. I do.

And I can type this feeling all virtuous because it’s 9:00, I have done my walk, I have 2 hours of pole dancing class in an hour, and I have had tea and my Shakeology and feel TOTALLY FINE. My will power is HIGH.

Just waitin’ on 3:00…!!!

And why so little blogging? Twitter. I admit it. I have started Tweeting, and it’s so easy, that I have become a slacker here. Mea maxima culpa. I’m fempowerment on Twitter – so if you’re there, say HEY, I’d love to hear from you!

Lots of stuff going on since I last posted (besides the Peru trip). I’ve finally reached the highest total weight I have ever been in my LIFE – by pounds and pounds. How’d it happen? Stress, mainly. I’m a stress eater (and wine drinker). Money stress, trip stress, time stress, managing 3 businesses AND trying to do the work at the same time…you know the drill. I wish I was a stress RUNNER, but even as a kid, I was never much for exercise. We were raised that studying/books/reading/etc. were GOOD, and exercise was just something that you did in between. My folks are both VERY active – so what happens when you have a kid that isn’t attracted to exercise naturally??

I was lucky to have a great metabolism when I was younger (growing to be over 6′ probably helped!) Then when an adult, I found out I was fairly coordinated for a gal who never really had gym as a kid (thanks, private school), so I became part of the UC varsity fencing and karate teams. I luckily kept working out, finding usually karate dojos to join as I moved around the country, and then for a time my friend Leslie and I decided to do triathlons – which we did. I guess that once you get the rock rolling, it keeps rolling.

I was in the greatest shape of my LIFE for our wedding back in 2006. I was HOT HOT HOT! Unfortunately, we went on a 6 week honeymoon that incorporated a lot of driving, riding on barges, and eating, drinking, eating and drinking! Then I moved into a completely sedentary, high-stress job for nearly a year…rescued by my publisher telling me I HAD TO GET THE BOOK FINISHED (and H agreeing to pay me to stay home and do it – how’s THAT for a great husband?)

I just never really got back in the workout “groove.” My life had been completely taken over by working out to get into that tiny tiny wedding dress (I wore my mom’s – I’m 6’2″ she’s 5’7″ – don’t even ask!) I am now 35 lbs heavier than I was back then – and it’s some SERIOUS weight, the nasty kind – the kind that makes you look at clothes in your closet and say “WHAT? Who’s closet IS This?”

I don’t like being fat (no one does, I know). But it’s tough to get the rock “rolling” again. I have recently signed up to be a BeachBody coach (you can check it out at www.BestLifeStyleNow.com if you want) – and hope that this will help me get back in the groove. BeachBody has some great workout stuff – I already had a number of the DVDs – and this gives me a “Community” to report back into.

Interestingly, I came back from Peru and got an intestinal bug…I hope it’s not a “real” bug as in creepy crawly (my dad brought this possibility up – uck). Even with that, I am serious fat-packed at that 30+ extra pounds. I’m trying not to hate myself for being so “weak” – and I want it all to fall off like TOMORROW. Yeah yeah, where’s that magic wand???

Before we left for Peru, one of my best grrls Tweeted me – I was saying something about not fitting into the clothes that I wanted to bring (small wonder, last time we travelled I was at least 12 lbs less booty), and she wrote back basically “Yeah you’re fat but you’re happy, you have a great life and a man who loves you” blah blah. Of course what do I read? the “yeah you’re fat” part. (She didn’t really say that, but I think it was something like “Yeah, well, you have some to lose” or “Yeah, well, sure you’ve put on some pounds” or something.) This is a gal where we used to be mistaken for twins all the time – no issue now. And she just had a baby.

So, I’m here blogging, because I feel bad that I haven’t – and I thought I’d let ya’ll know that when you’re in the depths of whatever-it-is, we all get there. My publisher wants me to do a workbook based on my book – which I want to do, but right now, I can’t concentrate on that. Then again, my thought is to work THROUGH my book just like a newbie reader would – maybe that would help me with the workbook!

I’m off to a Tony Robbins 4-day “thang” end of this month, then the Dallas eWomenNetwork convention for 4, and all that jazz. I am meeting a friend in Dallas who has become my BeachBody coach – and I need to look hot by then! At least – hotter than THIS. So I’m working out…I’m on Day 2, but at least I got up this morning.

Peace, out!

Pop quiz: which will make you more unhappy, a baseball through your window or a loose handle on your bathroom door? Did you guess the broken window? Dan Gilbert, who’s been studying happiness for decades, wants us to think again.

According to him, most people have a horrible time predicting what will make them happy and unhappy. You can check out a recent article he wrote in the New York Times to find out more. The bad news is that even knowing about how the brain distorts our thinking, it’s very hard to correct for it. The good news is that at least you can be on guard!

For those who like moving pictures instead of static text, you can also check out DanGilbert’s TED talk, which I quite enjoyed.

Good luck, and happy hunting!

I see the universe as a sales clerk at one of those high-end department stores you don’t see much anymore, the sort where it’s not YOU who does the browsing but the sales girl. You tell the sales girl what you want, and she goes into the back to find something that she thinks will fit the request. So, for example, if you ask the sales girl for a blue dress, she’ll go into the back, find one that she thinks will look good on you, and bring it out. You look at it, maybe try it on, and then either decide to buy it or tweak your request.

Obviously, the more specific you are, the better the sale girl’s first guess will be. If you don’t want to try on 40 different outfits before finding the one you want, you’d better be prepared to be specific the first time. The outfit you’ll get when you ask for “an elegant blue dress I can wear to a formal function with my boss” is going to be different from “an easy-to-care-for blue dress I can wear when travelling in Muslim countries,” which in turn is going to be different from “a blue dress I can wear to a summer barbeque.”

Unless you ask for a particular type of dress, you might find yourself surprised by what the sales girl brings out. If you were choosing for yourself, maybe you’d never have thought of wearing something sleeveless with a V-neck, but when you put it on, you might find that it flatters your shoulders. The sales girl has been doing this for a long time; she’s got a good eye for these things. There’s a pretty large stock in the back, so the longer you try things on and point out what you like and what you don’t, the closer she can come to finding the perfect blue dress for you.

The universe, obviously, supplies more than blue dresses. It supplies careers, spouses, children, and lifestyles. It provides vacations and houses and cars. It even provides mindsets, emotions, and dreams. But you’ve got to talk to it. How on earth is a sales girl supposed to know what you want if you sit with your arms across your chest and stare at the wall? How can she possibly choose correctly from the “back room” if you say, “Get me a job, any job?”

So think about your request for the sales-clerk universe. What do YOU want?

It reminds me of Sei Shonagon’s “The Pillow Book.” She was a court lady (and author) from around the year 1,000 (yes, really). Her book included collections of things that she found interesting when she was at court, including “Lists.” These include such lists as: ”Things That Give A Clean Feeling” (an earthen cup. a new metal bowl. a rush mat. the play of the light on water as one pours it into a vessel. a new wooden chest) and “Things That Give an Unclean Feeling” (a rat’s nest. someone who is late in washing his hands in the morning. white snivel, and children who sniffle when they walk. the containers used for oil. little sparrows. a person who does not bathe for a long time even though the weather is hot. all faded clothes, especially those that have glossy colors) and ‘Squalid Things” (the back of a piece of embroidery. the inside of a cat’s ear. a swarm of mice, who still have no fur, when the come wriggling out of their nest. the seams of a fur robe that has not yet been lined).

Enjoy.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Then his wife joined us.

This was the first time I met Victoria, and she was a bit different than I had envisioned.  She was beautiful, yes, but she complained about everything.  According to her, the waitress was too slow, the centerpiece on the table was ugly, and her brand new Lexus doesn’t drive as smooth as her girlfriends’ Mercedes.

Chris grew increasingly irritated with each negative comment that rolled off Victoria’s tongue.  His expression turned sour, his posture deteriorated and his cheeks blushed with frustration.  After just fifteen minutes at the dinner table with her, Chris, the man of power and prestige whom I idolize, had completely lost his poise.   

“Where’s the waitress?  This bread is stale.” Victoria huffed under her breath.

“The only stale thing I perceive is your incessant bitching!” Chris yelped.  “Will you please stop whining and just allow us to enjoy a pleasant evening for once?  For heaven’s sake!”

She gave me a wide-eyed glance, as if to say, “Do you see the crap I have to put up with?”  He gave me a similar look a moment later.  The tension between them stirred my nerves.  I wanted to excuse myself, but I didn’t want to be rude.  Needless to say, the remainder of the evening was rather uncomfortable.

My Brain Malfunctions

Chris called me this morning and gave me some ingenious advice on how to solve a contractual business dilemma I told him about last night.  He then proceeded to apologize for his behavior at the dinner table.

“The work involved in running my business comes naturally to me.  I love what I do.  I’m successful because I understand all the inputs and outputs, and I can precisely tune the production gears to acquire a set of desired results,” Chris said.

“Yeah, I’ve seen you in action,” I agreed.

He continued: “But when it comes to long-term, intimate relationships, my brain malfunctions… and I inevitably fail.”

Multidimensional Human Beings

All people, even our idols, are multidimensional human beings.  Powerful business men, polished musicians, bestselling authors, and even our own parents all have dimensions of success and dimensions of failure present in their lives.

Our successful dimensions usually encompass the things we love most.  We are successful in these dimensions because of our love, because we naturally spend the most time perfecting and nurturing what we love.

And this is the part of our lives we want others to see, the successful part that holds our life’s passion.  It’s the notion of putting our best foot forward.  It’s the public persona we envision as our personal legacy:  “The Successful ABC” or “The Award Winning XYZ.”

But behind whichever polished storyline we publically promote, there lies a multidimensional human being with a long list of unprofessed failures.  Sometimes this person is a bad husband, or fails to choose a suitable wife.  Sometimes this person laughs at the expense of others.  And sometimes this person takes their eyes off the road and rear-ends the car in front of them.

So Do We

The incident at dinner last night reminded me of this idle truth.

Our biggest idols and childhood heroes are just human… with all the flawed dimensions humans have.  And we shouldn’t feel let down when we are faced with the reality of these flaws, because they have always been there.  It’s just part of being human.

Sometimes our idols act like obnoxious, emotional, fools.

But sometimes so do we.

And sometimes they argue, cry, and fall flat on their faces.

But sometimes so do we.

There is a corollary to this – you should NOT do things that you do NOT like, and/or are bad at. I recently received an email newsletter from Stephanie Frank at Success IQ University that was on this subject. The email had to do with one of her coaching clients, a “people person,” who was trying to take on blogging, Twitter, SEO’ing her website and the like. The coaching that she received was basically – STOP IT – if that is not what you love and what you are good at. If it’s something you are actually interested in, well, great. But if not – that’s what other professionals are for!

In general, we usually hire “experts” for medical consultations, financial consultations, legal consultations, and the like. But what about taking over those other parts of your life or your business that you really hate? Myself, I have a “house cleaning consultant.” Yes, that’s right – I am not crazy about scrubbing the toilet, I ‘fess up. So I have someone that comes in and does it for me. I get to spend more time doing things that I love. Things that can bring abundance into my life – financially, or just through the Joy of not having to pull on those sexy rubber gloves.

We often get in our own way as well – and then hold onto our stories about how “we are.” What you think is what you are. Change what you think – change what you are. OK, so, think about it . . . and while you’re at it, for a laugh, check this out. It’s a little over 6 minutes but it’s good all the way to the end.

“A study of more than five thousand individuals, conducted by Harris Interactive in cooperation with Merrill Lynch, has torn the covers off the four groups of people who make up the new economic strata in America today. They are:

We now know that the people who have achieved both financial comfort and wealth are distinctly different from those who are struggling paycheck to paycheck or sinking further into debt each month.

They are different in their attitudes, behaviors (financial and nonfinancial), personalities, and goals.

The financially comfortable and the wealthy tend to be more passionate about what they do in life, they are more optimistic, and they are more resilient—able to overcome whatever obstacles life throws their way. They are more visionary—able to see things in a slightly different and improved way, if not a new way altogether. They are more connected to others in their professional and personal lives, and they have greater confidence in those relationships, as well as in their lives overall. And they are grateful—incredibly grateful—for the good fortune life has thrown their way.

They are also more likely to come at life with a different mind-set and a different set of skills. They tend to be goal setters who figure out what they want in life and then make a plan to go after it. They are dogged workers (and often need less sleep). The comfortable and wealthy take more risks than the average person, but they listen to their own voices and those of people they trust in order to be as certain as possible that those risks are appropriate for their stage in life or work. And they are always on a quest to learn something new.

you can learn. Although some people are born with, say, more optimism, it—like every other attribute or skill on this list—can be taught.

And that is what The Difference is all about. [The] book is devoted to teaching you how to uncover your nascent talents and develop those abilities. You will discover the latest psychological and academic findings, complete exercises that are easy to incorporate into your everyday life, and read stories of people who’ve done precisely what you want to do. They’ve harnessed the power within and used it to reach the same goals you have: financial comfort and long-lasting wealth.

Go download the book right now!

Hey ya’ll – listen, you know I’m a HUGE Oprah watcher. I just saw an episode with Ruby – who has a new reality TV show.  Check it out here.

I can’t wait to see this show. There are just a billion shows on TV now-a-days…are you spending your “television time” watching things that don’t “feed” you? Bond Grrl (or “James”!) – listen here. You have SO FEW hours in the day. If you’re going to spend time in front of TV – please PLEASE spend it being inspired.

I love Oprah – what can I tell you. I find folks like Ruby…and you gotta admit that Ruby and Oprah are Bond Grrls, true and through!

If you have seen this show, I want to hear about it!!

I was up at 4:00 this morning, because the economic news is not good in this Bond Grrl’s household. My James told me his take-home is being cut by 25% (though he still has a job). We talked about it a lot, and went to bed, and I woke up in a cold sweat at 4:00.  Not very Bond Grrlish of me, is it?

SO, I went downstairs to catch up on my email/bills/etc. from our being away (nothing like returning from an expensive trip and having another on the horizon – already paid for – to make you freak too!). OK and catch up on Criminal Minds, Bones, CSI NY, Oprah…At about 7:00, I got a text from my bff, Domino. She is moving this weekend, had said she didn’t need help, and then realized she DID need help. She asked if I could be there by 9:00, and I said I’d do my best.

Woke my James up with coffee at about 8:30 (VERY early for my handsome husband secret agent!) and told him I really had to (and wanted to) go – Domino has moved me probably 5 times, and somehow I have never reciprocated. He had a bunch of “honey do” stuff for me – mainly going to a local home improvement store that’s going out of business and looking at things we don’t quite need now, but we definitely WILL, since they’re marked down 50%. I wound up with a kitchen sink and a huge outdoor amphora in the back of the SUV – and off I went to Domino’s.

I was about 2 hours later than she wanted me there (I got there at about 10:45) – so I didn’t actually help with packing the moving van as her James and his buds had hoped (or bring them bagels and coffee as they’d hoped!). The boyz were all done, and she was up at the new house when I showed up at the old. Both he and Domino said that there were “just the baby clothes left” in the closet, and could I get them and bring them up?  SURE, I said.

OK, so I swept through that house like the Grinch in Whoville. (I actually texted her at one point “I feel like I need to look for Cindy Lou Who’s lollypop!”) There was a lot of “stuff” that hadn’t been packed – you know, odds and ends – but all over the house. I wound up starting downstairs, and just bringing everything up to their foyer, first – then taking a look at what I actually could pack and bring.

The funniest part was that there weren’t a lot of bags or boxes left – just a few – but as I dove into back closets and the like I wound up finding things like the cover for her massage table (HUGE score for carrying stuff!), old Nordstrom’s bags that suits come in, grocery bags, stuff like that. So I went to tackle their bedroom, last (which was the one place that I was supposed to really clear out - the baby’s closet).

Now, mind you, this baby has more clothes than ~I~ do (she’s like 4 months old). But there was still about 1/4 of Domino’s closet, some still in her James’ closet, a boatload of hangars, and all the baby’s clothes. And the breast pump. And the baby bath. And…oh Lord…all Domino’s bathroom stuff.

INTERVENTION! I started texting her as soon as I opened up those bathroom drawers! She had a bottle of massage oil I had brought her back from Scotland – FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.  (Yes, really.) Oil…goes…bad…hello…I texted her to say “Just Say ‘Throw’!” She had dozens of lipsticks. I’m cleaning out the drawer, there are 3 Chanel of the same color, unopened, behind some QTips…ok yeah I could go on. And so I totally busted her chops. And dozens of jog bras. Sweaters smashed behind sweaters.

Why are they moving? Like all of us, they need to save some dough. They can get a better house by moving farther from the city, and into a more “cookie cutter” neighborhood and rent there for a while, as they save for their own place.

She’s skimmed my book, but I guess it just didn’t “catch.”

Lots of Brands in the clothes and accessories…but Safeway-brand vitamins. 

How many of you are like this? Be serious. Have you really gone through YOUR house? How about taking some of your extra stuff to a Consignment Store? Or eBay? If not there, how’s about doing a Clothing Swap party (I’m having one on Monday!), where you can all get “new clothes” from your friends, and then give the rest to charity! And I can’t stress enough that your “big money” should be spent going into you…not onto you. You never EVER see a Bond Girl in brands…

About 8 years ago, an Auntie of mine (Rosemary Manell) had to be put in an Alzheimer’s Home, and my James and I helped my Mom clean out her house. Holy cow. It was one of “those” situations – books up the stairwells…stuff everywhere – and we are talking GOOD stuff. She was Julie Child’s best friend, and her husband had been Consul General during World War 2, and she had lived an awesome awesome life – so she had GREAT stuff, just a LOT of it. After we worked for weeks on it, all of us wound up cleaning up our stuff, because we realized we just did NOT want to be in that situation later in life! It was just one of those moments. And it was what formed how I explained how to “attack these issues” in the first Chapter of my book!

Well, there I was, facing it again…and I know (because my bff just texted me!) that she thought she was SO GOOD! Woah.

OK, one funny thing – I wound up PACKING my car and I mean PACK-ING it with stuff to bring up to their new house…but the stuff I’d had to get with my James was all still in the back too.  When Domino’s James’s BFF saw it, he said “HEY, look, she’s got everything, and the kitchen sink….SERIOUSLY.” It completely cracked me up.

So, that’s the update. And yeah, I’m goin’ back to the bloggin’ style that got my book written – write stream of consciousness, post.  So there. See ya, maybe not tomorrow, but definitely Monday after my Clothing Swap Party!!

Are you having an issue with Will Power? Are you stressed out? Have you just tiptoed up to the precipice and looked over…into the abyss of Holiday Feasting Madness? Scott’s here to give you a lift – and a plan.

Here are the links that Scott mentions in the interview:

The MotivationToMove.com Holiday Survival Guide

Free Premium MotivationToMove.com Membership

 Enjoy and… Step AWAY from the marshmallow yams!!!

Last week, I had the honor of being interviewed by Dr. Claudia Six from “Six on Sex.”  (I’m still having trouble uploading photographs, but if you click on the link above, you will be able to see Dr. Six). Dr. Six and I both attended the same school for Sexology, it turns out, though she went on to get her doctorate; she has her Ph.D. in Clinical Sexology and is Board Certified by the American Board of Sexology.

Dr. Six has a great podcast, which is about Erotic Integrity. She interviews local personalities about what Erotic Integrity means to them, and how Erotic Integrity shows up in their work and in their lives. As stated by Dr. Six, “Erotic Integrity is about the humanity of sex, not the acrobatics. It’s about being true to one’s erotic self.”

I strongly recommend downloading and listening to her podcasts. Dr. Six is a fantastic person, and a wealth of information! Not only that, Sheila Kelley’s S Factor has offered anyone who listens to the podcast and mentions it to their local S Factor half off on an introductory S Factor session through 2008. I discussed how working out at S Factor really has helped me to release my “Erotic Creature,” and S Factor has generously offered the ability to any of Dr. Six and my listeners!

Here are a couple of other links that we discuss in the podcast:
Dr. Michael Roizen and Dr. Mehmet Oz’s website (put “sex” in the Search Box in the very top, blue bar to get some of the sex facts that we discuss in the podcast)

Sheri’s Ranch website link

Click below to listen to the interview:

Hey, who said “Be Prepared” was only the motto for the Boy Scouts, hmmmmmmmmm grrls???

I would strongly suggest clicking on the link above – because that’s what I’m going to be doing for the next little while. I sure need some help in the Motivation/Get Back Started department!

This website is wa-a-ay too addictive. I’d definitely suggest adding it to your RSS Feedreader (if you don’t have one or don’t know how to do this, email me and I’ll ‘splain — it’s super easy and you will LOVE it once you get it set up). Archives include:

25 Daily Suggestions to Guide you toward the Good Life;

10 Handy Numbers for your Mobile Phone (particularly notice the FREE 411 through Google);

33 Inspirational Videos from YouTube (including the “Last Lecture,” laughter yoga, the original Hoosiers motivational speech, the Braveheart “Freedom” speech, and wow, wow, wow, SO MUCH MORE!…check this one out about an autistic guy singing the National Anthem at Disability Awareness Day in Fenway Park in Boston if you want that throat swelling/eyes tearing up moment…);

20 Things the Millionaire Next Door does NOT do (fantastic list. I cover this in my book, based on the actual book “The Millionaire Next Door” – but read this and BE HONEST – what stops you from being a millionaire? My biggest issue is #9 – impulse buying – as Erin Doland and I discussed in our podcast, this is the “Shiny! Shiny!” problem. I actually do NOT do this at the mall – it’s always at things like silent auctions for charities. I figure it’s for a good cause . . . but hello, it’s not good for my pocketbook! I just did this yesterday at one of my favorite charities in the world, Women’s Initiative for Self-Employment…just shoot me.)

Check out this site! It’s great!  Thanks again, Sallie!

In this vodcast, we take the mint from the julep and create a Mojito, and as the Mojito reminds us of travel (Cuba might open up any time now!), we discuss:

*  How Sandy packed in 15 minutes for a 3 week honeymoon;

*  Picking and packing in a “base” color, intelligently;

*  Getting around every woman’s Achilles heel (as it were) – Shoes!

*  Things to leave in your suitcase, including one Secret Weapon to amaze your James;

*  Covering issues such as plants, lights, kids, pets, mail, newspapers and the like so you’re ready to take off when an adventure presents itself;

*  Handling lotions, potions, makeup and jewelry on a trip; and

*  Much more!

In a few minutes, we hope we can get you from “Oh Honey, No!” when those tickets to Paris show up unexpectedly, to “Honey, Let’s Go!”

Let me know what you think – either give me a ring on my Listener Feedback line 206.350.3537, leave a Comment here, or email to sandy[at]beabondgirl[dot]com.

* How the Unclutterer Got Started, including all about Mazes of Stuff and the Bud Lite Bottle rising from the Dead/Rubbermaid Coffin (cue scary music);

*  How to terrorize soon-to-be-husbands (N.B.: Mazes of stuff will do it);

*  Dealing kindly with a Packrat;

*  How to start the decluttering process, be dispassionate, and communicate;

*  Two great ways to diminish the “mine v. yours” struggle;

*  How to discuss what “Simple Living” means to each of you and how to imagine living together as one;

*  Your Toaster or Mine: How to deal when the space won’t hold it all (especially two of everything);

*  Who are You, Really: What new and exciting thoughts you could entertain about decluttering and how not to drag the anchor of the Old You, along with all of her dead/post energy and stories, into your new life; and

*  A whole lot more!

I hope you enjoy this podcast, and please let me know if there are other experts you might like to hear interviewed on our Coffee Chats. We sure had fun doing it – you might just listen to give you a smile!

Here are the links to Erin’s two interviews on the Precision Change podcast: Tired of the Crap? Become an Unclutterer! and What is Clutter Costing You? Just to have it all in one place, here is the summary link to all the uncluttering entries I’ve made on the website.  If you have my book, you know that the entire Chapter 1 is dedicated to this topic… You can’t release your Inner Bond Girl if you can’t find her under the Piles of Stuff!!! 

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

That’s a lot of “notes” for one fragrance! I’ll be very curious to see how it smells. Being a “one note woman” myself (I wear Jo Malone and layer it if I want more “notes”), sometimes fragrances like this smell a little confusing to me.  Then again, we could say they smell “mysterious” – and that’s all Bond Girl!!

P.S.: Love that the Avon spokesperson also notes that Bond Girls are “… one of the most widely known aspects of the films — they’re empowered, feminine and glamorous.” Yup – that’s what we’ve said, huh Bond Grrrrls!

The second teleconference in each month is not based upon Curriculum. It is based upon what came up for each Bond Grrl during the previous 2 weeks, as a follow on from the first session of the month and the Weekly Update. If you are following along, you have heard Session One (based on the curriculum), then read the Weekly Update (and the Testimonials), and now we are to Session Two. It deals with setting Goals and Steps for accomplishment – because the Thursday group had some issues with respect to how exactly to do just that.

Each member uses her “Bond Grrl Name,” which I have found helps women really be truthful, honest, and forthright in what she discusses with the group.

My Bond Grrls were asked to post their weekly information and questions here in Comments to share their process, but it’s been a wee bit too private for that! So as you can see, most of the information on the Blog is just from Yours Truly. I am sure that you understand. But you can certainly hear their processes during the Teleconferences.

If you have comments or questions, please call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Enjoy… click on the button below to Play. It has about six seconds of silence at the beginning, so just wait a few counts, it will come on.

I read this great article on Emily Wilska’s website, OrganizedLife.org.  She recommends getting rid of 50 things in the next 3 weeks – whether they are a book you haven’t re-read (or never read at all), a mate-less earring, or even bigger.

This is a great way to look at “cleaning out” – as long as you get to 50, you’re all set. Big or small, love this idea, because it’s kinda a game – and more importantly, a fun way to rid yourself of 50 things you don’t need!

Here is the link: http://www.organizedlife.org/tip.html

And don’t forget we have the De-cluttering View From The Bay, and a number of Podcasts (here is the link to Podcast 2, our first clutter/clearing related one), in our archives for you!

As stated on their website, “PAX…is passionate about altering our society’s culture by transforming the way women relate to men. [PAX provides] extraordinary information with which women can profoundly affect their relationships with men of all ages and in all circumstances. [PAX is] dedicated to having this priceless information in the hearts and minds of one million women. [PAX intends] to accomplish this with fun, integrity, intelligence, courage and in partnership with both masculine and feminine forms of power.”  Read more about PAX’s mission by clicking here. Sounds like fEmpowerment, no?

As promised, please find the links to:

* Alison’s website
* writing to Oprah about how you felt hearing about Alison in this Podcast;
* watching Alison on Utube:
- “How Women Speak: There Is No Point!” (part 1 of 3)
- “How Women Speak: Life-Threatening Details” (part 2 of 3)
- “How Women Speak: It’s All About Flow” (part 3 of 3)

- “How Women Think: What Focus???” (part 1 of 3)
- “How Women Think: How Do You Get Her Attention?” (part 2 of 3)
- “How Women Think: Multi-Tasking During Sex?” (part 3 of 3)

- “How Women Feel: Crashing The System” (part 1 of 2)
- “How Women Feel: The Rage Monster” (part 2 of 2)

- “How to NOT Change A Man: Why Criticism Doesn’t Work”
- “How To Change A Woman: The SLIGHTEST Criticism Will Do”

 I hope you enjoy this podcast, and please let me know if there are other experts you might like to hear interviewed on our Coffee Chats.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

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Thanks so much for inviting me to the call.  Just the process of doing my ‘incomplete homework” is a valuable self-discovery journey for me.  I’m 100% sure I can benefit from this type of coaching program…. I can totally see how the ‘master mind” group can benefit everyone, because you get many ideas from the fresh angles…
- Peony

Dear Solitaire: Thank you for the inspiring coaching call this evening. I know that this class has jump-started my week. I can’t wait to implement what I’ve learned and get started with my action steps fueled by my renewed commitment. Thank you!
- Flexi

You’re amazing…I had no idea you were such an accomplished coach-wow! The many talents of Sandy Shepard…I thought it was a really good session…the exercise was very good too.
-Hot Mama

Great job. Thanks so much for featuring me…. I love the idea regarding the levels of ‘membership’ for my “Bod Pod”/CDs. I need to hook up with you to get my forms back and give you the financial ones. [After I did the Fast Start exercise,] it turns out that I’m making about $15 bucks an hour.. yikes! All in all a FABULOUS FIRST OUTING. You [freaking] ROCK.
-Arielle

Thanks for the call last night. I left feeling very “green/blue” (my color) so I was in a good place…. I thought you did an incredible job of summarizing the contents of our homework and remembering bits from all of us (even mine). I was also struck by the fact that I’m sure I would LOVE the other Bond Grrls on the call (as friends) and that we probably had a lot in common. I thought about the fact (you brought this up) that we all felt we had accomplished a lot in our lives [and] I know I feel I kind of “fell into it” and didn’t really have much say in how my career developed. I know SOME of it I directed but think maybe we don’t give ourselves enough credit for being in the right place for accomplishing what we have. For example: my [international career] experience was great but looking back, I realize that not every 26 year old would raise her hand to relocate to a new country, so I should give myself more credit!
- MO

I had a lot of fun with the coaching call.  Those that subscribe will gain a lot with your help.
- Mica

One issue that I did not bring up in the Weekly Update but I will likely bring up in the call on May 22nd was the “belching issue.”  A couple of the women on the call mentioned this specifically. If you have listened to the podcast, you will hear an enormous belch about 3/4 of the way through. It was while one of the Bond Grrls was speaking in the Masterminding session. (If you haven’t listened to the podcast, bet you’re going to do it now, huh? :-) ) The belch was definitely an adult – it was not one of the Bond Grrls who was attending with her baby. To me, it actually sounded like a man’s belch.

So it was one thing, or the other.  Either it was one of the Bond Grrls letting out a ripper of a belch, or one of the Bond Grrls who was on the call had her “significant other” come and belch literally in her face while she was on the call. If the first, that’s fairly easy to correct – it’s a disgusting sound, it’s unnecessary, and it’s definitely not Bond Grrl to belch like a toad on overdrive. If it was a “James” making this sound, it is either one of two things: (a) a power play, or (b) an “endearment.” In either case, the Bond Grrl has given some sort of signal in her life that this is “OK.”

We do train our men – we all know that. If we say “Oh honey that’s disgusting! (Tee hee hee)”, we are actually signalling that we are OK being treated like that. If we get angry, again, we have allowed our James to see that something “pushes our buttons,” and so he can use it as a power play against us.  Here a way to handle this.

Show no reaction at the time. (This is critical – remember, he’s trying to get you off your game.) Then, after the call, sit down very seriously and say, “James, are you really someone who belches in his woman’s ear? Is that the real you? Can you please help me to understand what you were thinking when you did that?” Then just be quiet.

He’s going to have to say whatever he “thought” – and you need to stay non-reactive. If he says “oh, I thought it was really funny,” don’t just counter with a huffy “Well I sure don’t!” Try instead “To me, it’s an inappropriate way to express yourself. Just like telling an incredibly prejudiced joke, that belch reflects upon you. Is that what you want to be remembered for?” or perhaps “When you belch in my ear when I am on an accountability call, it makes me feel disrespected. I feel embarrassed because the other women on the call can hear this. I would rather that belching is not part of our relationship repertoire.” Just do NOT go the direction of “When you belched in my ear, you disrespected me.”  Because he will say “No I didn’t,” and you’re in a fight. Always stick to how YOU feel. Do NOT get into “his body” or “his head.” You can ask what he was thinking when he did it, or what that signified to him, but when it comes to your reaction, ground it in your own feelings or you’re setting yourself for an “I did not,” “You did too” type fight. 

Whoever is the Grrl that had this happen to her has allowed this in her life. No one here is a Victim. How you are treated is a manifestation of how you have shown that you want to be treated. ‘Nuff said.

As for the call in general, it brought up some private issues that a few of the Bond Grrls wanted to work through with me on email, as their Coach. As you can see, we do not have that many Comments thusfar – those who had immediate issues decided to keep them private between coach/Bond Grrl (which I have respected, of course), and others were too crazed in their lives/schedules to learn how to Comment/post. The best part about fEmpowerment Lifestyle Training is that you show up however works best for you – so if there’s just not enough time to work the Curriculum, or something big interrupts your call-in time, then you can always “catch up” through the Weekly Updates and Recordings. 

If you have any questions, you can call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Click below to download the Weekly Update document. It is in PDF format, so you may need to obtain the Adobe Reader if you do not have it on your computer already (it is free on www.Adobe.com).

I hope you enjoy this podcast, and please let me know if there are other experts you might like to hear interviewed on our Coffee Chats.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl [dot] com or leave a comment below.

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In this vodcast, we take the bourbon from the julep and create an Old Fashioned. Then, we discuss how to have a Signature Cocktail without being branded High Maintenance, plus some Old Fashioned Virtues… such as manners, etiquette, language, and listening. 

In particular, we discuss how you Bond Girls can understand how men communicate, and to embody this secret weapon to be even More Enticing than you already are!

Let me know what you think – either give me a ring on my Listener Feedback line 206.350.3537, leave a Comment here, or email to sandy[at]beabondgirl[dot]com.

Each of these women completed a Fast Start document that discussed her life, the energy she is putting towards her goals (or towards things that she ranks as actually unimportant)… it covers financial issues, relationship issues… the works. She filled it out as completely or as quickly as she found time for. Nothing is ever mandatory. Each woman also completed two items of Curricula. The first discussed how to turn Adversity to Opportunity; the second deals with changing languaging skills by uncovering ”Psycho-Euphoric and Psycho-Phobic” words used in your business or your daily life.

Each member uses her “Bond Grrl Name,” which I have found helps women really be truthful, honest, and forthright in what she discusses with the group.

For the next two weeks, I will be posting here the information that I would normally have in a private, password-encoded file for the group. I have also asked them to post Comments here instead of sharing their process in a private forum, so that any readers who are interested can see what a typical first two weeks entails.

The first meeting of a group is always a little different than the subsequent ones. Each meeting uses a breathing exercise as an opener, then usually discusses the Curriculum for the week, then moves on to the Mastermind sessions for 1-2 of the participants. As the ‘homework’ behind the first meeting includes not only the Fast Start documentation but also 2 items of Curricula, it is always a bit more general and less focussed than the subsequent meetings.

If you have comments or questions, please call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Enjoy… click on the button below to Play. It has a second or two of silence at the beginning, so just wait a few counts, it will come on.

Ever seen da Vinci’s “The Last Supper”?

The Bite

Then you know food can be art. And that’s what the founders of Slow Food International – a nonprofit devoted to bringing back whole foods that are cooked and savored slowly – are all about. If you’re into food prepared the old-fashioned way (and with sustainability in mind), add slow foods to your daily menu for a more vibrant…er, palate.

The Benefits

• Eating becomes art. Getting to know ingredients, producers, and the cultural history behind our foods makes for more soul-satisfying meals.
• An easel way to avoid empty calories. Many additives in processed and fast foods are chemicals that lack nutritional value and sometimes wreak havoc on your health.
• Painting a greener landscape. The slow food movement promotes biodiversity of crops, organic farming, and the preservation of family (not factory) farms.
• An energy-saving Renaissance. Example: The production of a 1-pound box of cereal requires almost seven times as many kilocalories of energy as it provides in nourishment.

OK, you know, it’s the last one that gets me. I keep harping on posts like The Story of Stuff (long, but worth watching), but those are the things that astonish me.

When I posted my comment today on IdealBite, I was reminded of my Podcast 8 about Life-Affirming Rituals, including Saying Grace (start at 25:00 for this portion). As you may remember from that one, a student of mine wound up losing weight, literally just through the act of thanking the “folks” that had gotten the food to her. She used to eat in the car, standing up, junk-food-on-the run. When I suggested she and her husband start saying Grace over everything they ate, they originally balked because they “don’t do that God thing.” I explained that wasn’t what this was about — this was Giving Thanks to the farmers, truckers, plants, animals, etc. that got that food TO them. The actual physical energetic “beingness” that went into what they were putting in their mouth.

Once she started doing that, first, she found it ‘disrespectful’ to eat standing up. And in the car. She and her husband felt weird saying grace over take-out boxes, so they put the food on plates. Which made them stay at the table longer, and the Grace started them talking about something besides Their Hard Days. Ultimately they started cooking.  And she started losing weight.

If you have my book, check out page 127 for a reminder about Mindfulness versus “Guilt-Ridden Scarfing” — and a discussion about “sensory awareness” when eating. It also talks about Living CAMP (check out the “eating a banana” link).  If you don’t have my book, it’s not pretty, but I have a PDF copy of the page for you here as I originally sent it in to my publisher: guilty-pleasures-sidebar-page-127

How’s about starting a quickie Thankfulness Practice, today?  You’re GOING TO EAT IT ANYWAY, my dear, so…why not?

Emily Wilska gave some great ideas for Mom’s Day gifts that can help, as she said, ”bring more organization and less stress to the lives of the ladies you love.”  Here are The Tips:

1.  Tastebook is a new service that lets you create personalized cookbooks that include both recipes from your own collection (or your mom’s) and from the voluminous online archives of Gourmet and Bon Appetit magazines. Choose a cover and a theme (you can even upload your own photos), select and organize recipes, and customize your book.

2.  If Mom is overwhelmed with junk mail, sign her up for 41 Pounds or Green Dimes, both services designed to significantly reduce unwanted mail. Because both of these require a little bit of work (such as filling out Do Not Mail postcards to send to direct marketing services), you might include in your gift an hour or two of time to help get Mom up and running. (While you’re at it, go to Catalog Choice and help her stop unwanted catalogs from cramming her mailbox; the service is free.) Another clutter-clearer is Shoeboxed, a service that will scan any and all of your receipts and upload them to an account on a private, secure website.

3.  Last but not least, consider giving Mom something only you can give: your time. Most people I know (including myself!) have at least one or two organizing projects they’d love to tackle if only they didn’t have a dozen–or more–other things on their To Do list. Giving your mother a hand with the project of her choosing is a simple but powerful way of saying thank you.Remember that, with any project, it’s smart to keep things on a reasonable scale (don’t try to attack every closet in the house or 20 years’ worth of photos at once). If Mom’s project of choice is a large one, you might spread your offer of time over a few weeks or months to keep things moving forward without burning out. And at the end of the project, why not take Mom out for a celebratory lunch? You’ll both have earned it.

Great Tips!!!

Can I tell you one thing? I’m in LOVE with Lisa Quinn (host) and David Corona (cameraman). I am honored to have been asked to come back to View From The Bay (ABC) to chat about another portion of my book – on feng shui. As you know, I’ve done two podcasts on feng shui (I actually just linked them on my Home Page to make it easier) – but this was my 3 minute “down and dirty” feng shui episode.

Now, if someone could teach me to MENTION THE NAME OF MY WEBSITE when I say “go to my website” - I would be Golden!

If you’d like to see the video – click here!

If you have comments on this episode, please call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl [dot] com or leave a comment below.

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Today I was catching up on Zandria’s blog, and one of her comments was on being Single, and “doing something you’re not so good at/trying something new.” I wrote about this in my book, and she has a great perspective.  

When I was single, I did sort of a “regression analysis” (hey, I’m an attorney, so sue me) on the best places to “meet guys.” I had been bashed by relationship and was “older” then (late 30s) and really liked being “in relationship” so I wanted to figure out how to get back into one without doing something insane like hitting the bar/dance club scene. What it came down to was basically NASCAR and golf as being super man-rich “environments.”

I went to NASCAR with a grrlfriend and – yikes, boring beyond ALL boredom (if you’re a NASCAR fan I apologize), and SO LOUD.  But golf, even though I am AWFUL at it, was a GREAT thing. You can just go out and hit balls at a driving range, take some beginner classes (they’re always dead cheap — they try to ‘reel you in’), go to Play It Again Sports and get a golf set for not that much… and you really DO NOT have to be good.  There is a golf course in EVERY country (even Madagascar), and going and playing there you will ALWAYS meet guys, and it’s fun. The pro shop will have clubs for you to borrow.  If you decide to be a little more “interesting,” you can get a vintage putter for example, and just bring that -that’s the club that folks will comment on. (I have one from Scotland that was made from the rudder of the Queen Mary.)

Remember – I am TERRIBLE at golf.  But so long as you don’t hold the rest of your 4-some up (just pick the ball up, and tell them you owe them a beer… they’ll love you), it’s a GREAT place to meet guys, and you can tell their actual personality right off, too. (A guy I was kinda interested in threw his CLUB when he was upset at a shot he made and it BROKE – a handmade graphite club – NO THANKS. Step a-waaaaaaaaay from the Crazy Man…)

There are also groups just for women (e.g., EWC – Executive Women’s golfing Club) nationwide, where you get together with other professional women, usually on like a Tuesday or Wednesday after work, play a round and then have a glass of wine and laugh. It’s a fantastic networking thing, too.

Remember tho – it’s a game…. :-)

 S

PS:  My husband doesn’t play golf (figures, huh?) and so I’m a little out of practice now, but it’s on my “list” to get back to. It was such a great way to meet people and it’s good exercise too, if you don’t ride a cart.

Click here for a printable Bagua map (from www.wsfs.com).

I know it’s difficult to “imagine” the bagua square just from my talking about it, so this should help.

If you have comments on this episode, please call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl[dot] com or leave a comment below.

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If you have comments on this episode, please do call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

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Hypnotherapist Susan Bird:

If you have comments on this episode, please do call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

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The article described the Native American tradition of the “potlatch.” It is a tradition that values generosity above all else.  A potlatch, which is a very grand ceremony, is an exercise in giving away material possessions, food, and money.

Apparently, it is not uncommon for the host of a potlatch to give away so much of their own resources to guests that the host ends up with nothing. However, the host can regain this wealth by attending potlatches as a guest.

 In this way, a potlatch validates generosity and encourages the flow of resources in a community, while at the same time continually reaffirming the importance of community ties.

This paragraph really made me sit up and take notice, because it reminds me of what I learned from “John Jr.” in my car ride with him, as detailed in Podcast 9 on “Living Green”:

“When we are held in a web of trust and connection, we can give generously, knowing that when it is our turn we will be supported. In this way, our whole sense of ownership becomes less individualistic and more communal. Resources are in an acceptable state of flux, moving within the community through the vehicle of the potlatch, which serves the additional function of strengthening community ties. This seems clearly preferable to isolating ourselves from one another and hoarding our resources.”

Isn’t it time to create a community in which a flow of resources happens in this way, in which we support one another to be generous?

The “Give Away Girls’ Nights” listed in my book is an example of a potlach – having fun, and giving away an object that is dear to us. By doing this, perhaps we can inspire someone there to throw their own potlatch. And so on, and so on – by starting this out, trusting, and loving, perhaps we could find ourselves with a tradition that supports and validates generosity even as it creates a safety net for leaner times.

Don’t just think about it – do it.

The video podcast that I refer to in this podcast is The Story Of Stuff by Annie Leonard. You can go back and find where I blogged about it a few weeks ago, or just click the link here. It’s a bit long, but it definitely explains the whole manufacturing process and Planned Obsolescence — I think this would be great to show kids.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

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From: merr<snip>

Hi All,
 
Did you know that Earth Hour takes place today?  What is this?  Well, apparently the idea started in Sydney last year, where between 8-9pm on 29th March, businesses and individual households turn off all their lights for one hour, to become a little more aware of the huge amount of power our daily lives consume. 

I’m writing this in the middle of “Earth Hour” (8.40pm Melbourne time), so I’m attempting to type by candle-light, which is a little difficult, particularly since the only candles I could find are scented ones, so I have “coffee” on one side and “ocean” on the other.  I think I’ll have to invest in some candle-sticks for next year! 

Last year about 2 million people in Australia participated, and this year I think it’ll be much more (it has received lots of publicity in the newspapers, etc).  Many cities around the world are also taking part, including San Francisco, I think.  Lots of buildings in cities are turning off all the lights for an hour, which is very cool. 

I snuck a look out my door, and it seems that most people in my street have turned out their lights too (or maybe they’re just out…).  I’ve also heard that some restaurants are taking part, so everyone will be eating by candle-light for an hour.  So, if you think of it, maybe you can have your own “earth-hour” tonight, between 8-9pm.  Its actually quite fun! 

Love and Happy “Earth Hour” — Merr 
 
Just a quick addition: I just read that last year it was hoped the energy consumption in Sydney might drop by 5% (during Earth Hour), but it actually dropped by 10%!  Isn’t that incredible?!  Even the Sydney Harbour Bridge & Opera House will be in darkness for the hour.  Cool!

This Coffee Chat podcast is with Dr. Monte of Fitness Rocks. I like to call Dr. Monte the Dr. Oz of the Internet. He brings medical information and education to lay people like Dr. Mehmet Oz does on Oprah — but in perhaps even a more amazing way… because he’s doing it for free! Dr. Monte has given up medicine to follow his empassioned path of helping get the word out on the amazing medical research being done every single day in the area of Health & Lifestyle.

 In their practices, doctors have very pretty (or handsome) drug reps appearing at their offices weekly, to sell them the best new pill or potion (and to take them out on expensive golfing trips and luncheons — hey, my dad’s a doctor, this is the truth). Dr. Monte offers the other side to anyone who will listen — perhaps I should call him an “un-drug” rep. As you can imagine, there isn’t someone out there paid by any deep-pocket company to flog exercise, vegetables, and meditation to combat the pharmaceuticals — so I sincerely thank Dr. Monte for taking on this somewhat daunting job with all the passion and energy that this information deserves. You can change your life, and a great first step is listening to Dr. Monte’s podcast!

I hope you enjoy this podcast, and please let me know if there are other experts you might like to hear interviewed on our Coffee Chats.

And since some of you asked… next podcast will be a “regular” one — I promise!

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

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 The restaurant’s owners say “the designs are aimed at creating a soothing setting that will encourage diners to linger over their burgers and fries, and come back again.”

It has waterfalls, red accents for good luck, etc.  Too much!  Aaaand, the owner says that business has picked up.  Aha!  Abundance! :-)