from Triathlon Training

In the final days before you race an Ironman it is essential that you keep a few things in mind.

Ironman essence – Gratitude

The Ironman hype in the final week before race day often makes you forget the reason you are racing in the first place. Excitement is running high. Triathletes are everywhere, discussing race goals.

This is a good time to remind yourself why you started in this sport. It is very likely you were attracted to triathlon, Ironman, because of the lifestyle it provides you; its health benefits; the opportunity to visit the great places around the world where triathlons are held; and for the unique friendships that develop between athletes.

Ironman is a way to celebrate life: it is a gift to the have time, the health and the finances to take part in such a unique event.

Remind yourself of the above in race week and try to focus less on your splits in each discipline, age-group placing or Kona slots: those are only consequences of a great race execution, based on your fitness and mindset. 

Setting goals

Crossing the finish line is always at the top of the list.

Then you have secondary goals that are usually linked to finish times and/or improving splits in each discipline.

Be careful how you set them and what benchmark you use. Always keep in mind that race day conditions are unique and hard, if not impossible, to predict. If you want to improve your finish time of the previous year, or from another other race, you have to take into account that the conditions such as wind, temperature and currents will most likely be different.

Another problem with predicting finish times, especially for first-timers, is using times done in training: unless you have done an Ironman simulation it is impossible to know how you will react during the final half of the Ironman run. The result window is massive: you might have a solid day and run those 21km in 100 minutes or less, or if you may get cramps and take 3 hours, or more.

Confidence

Maintaining confidence in your training and race strategy in the final days before Ironman can be a challenge. As soon as you arrive at the race venue you bump into all those sponsored athletes walking around in and with the latest equipment, showing off their lean and vascular legs. Such sights can be quite intimidating to the first timer or beginner athlete.

Remember: before a race everyone looks like a champion – don’t let this hurt your confidence.

Another common thought on race week is: “I should have trained harder!”

You have already done the best you could. Perhaps you had to take a week off training due to work, family or health issues but those are situations we all face. Every single triathlete on the startline of an Ironman had to overcome some sort of challenge during their preparation so don’t worry, you are not alone.

Be realistic

One of the biggest differences between the short races and Ironman is that the latter provides a better opportunity for the athlete to perform according to ability. Never forget this on race day. If you are not feeling great in the swim or the early stages of the bike, stay calm: there is a long day ahead and you will have the opportunity to get into your rhythm as the race progresses.

Other examples are a slow transition or a flat tire: unlike the short course events where your race would be over due to those setbacks, in Ironman you can still catch up on the lost time.

There is no such a thing as having a great race based on experience or “luck”. At best you minimize potential problems by going under-trained into an Ironman but no miracle will happen. Your best choice is to adjust your goals and expectations to avoid frustration.

Rational vs Emotional

Keep your emotions in check on race day: don’t let them take over your race strategy. Adrenalin released in the first few hours of the race, with the type-A and competitive personality of each triathlete, plus the fact that everyone is well-rested and tapered is a perfect recipe for disaster.

The main mistakes happen in the cycling leg, especially during the first hours, when athletes are excited and forget a very long day is only just beginning. As a result, people start to race each other or just ignore their nutrition plan.

Another common mistake that results in an emotional, rather than a rational, approach is after a setback such as a flat tire or a penalty is that athletes tend to “make up for it”. Don’t. Stay calm and be patient in those situations instead. Ironman is a long race and you can slowly, over the next hours, catch up on the missed minutes. Please do not try to do it within the next 60 minutes.

Positive attitude

It takes between 8 and 17 hours to finish an Ironman. That is a lot of time for everything to go as planned, especially considering the myriad of factors the athlete can’t control. It is very likely that something will go “wrong” at some stage during the race.

After I wrote an article about the mental attitude towards the race day challenge last year, several athletes came to talk to me after finishing their Ironman and mentioned that already in the swim leg their race wasn’t going as planned: they couldn’t see the buoys and went off course.

Ironman is all about overcoming obstacles. The challenges start with your training routine, how you manage your work and family commitments with those long sessions that take a lot of your time and energy. The training is 90% of the Ironman experience and is the biggest challenge. Race day is only the celebration of getting to the start line. You will still be tested during the event, be it physically or logistically, but with your Ironman determination you will find a solution and make it to the finish line. 

Have a great race!

http://www.trifuel.com/training/triathlon-training/mental-attitude-for-ironman

If you are going to be in the audience – thanks in advance! If you can’t make it, here is the link to the live feed!

I’m on with another gal, and we only have 4 minutes. I hope that it goes well! Now to go shower, get my duds on (and makeup – huh what’s that?) then off and running!

Here’s our writeup and topic – our “Tips” will be posted on the View From The Bay website, and I will link them here later on today or tomorrow. They run to 3 pages – for a 4 minute interview! Oh dear!

Increase Your Wellbeing In A Down Economy with Tips  That Don’t Cost You Money AND Help You Lose Weight:
A No-Nonsense Approach to Relationship and Health Issues

Introduction: Work/life balance is more crucial now than ever, given how the unexpected changes on Wall Street have affected the small business on Main Street, and trickled down into our homes and in particular our bedrooms. Our mission is to help women see dramatic changes in their lives, including better health (weight loss), increased happiness (more vibrant sex life & increased energy and drive) and improved financial security (additional money flowing into their businesses, if they are entrepreneurs). Statistics show a direct correlation between the stresses of work and the detrimental effect it has on a couple’s relationship and intimacy level; we’re teaming up to provide a no-nonsense approach to solving America’s relationship and health issues. Sandy and Sheila have a seminar coming up and the VFTB audience can go to www.empower180.com to receive information. Registered VFTB viewers will receive a 2 for one bonus on Sandy and Sheila’s books at the seminar. 

Tips To Use To

(This is a little break back into my “real life” and away from the Trials and Tribulations of turning CouchPotatoWoman into IronWoman!)

This is HOW I got on my “Ironman quest.”

Back in the summer, I went to Tony Robbins “Unleash The Power Within” (the “firewalk thing”) with my bff Maria. I was pretty depressed about the economy, my sorry state of health and fitness (haven’t really committed to working out since 2006), and the like. In doing some of the hypnosis-esque exercises (which are crazy powerful, whether you like Tony Robbins or not), I was concentrating on the “health and fitness” portion of what I wanted to accomplish, and something happened that I’d like to share today.

You do each area of your life – relationships, $, health/fitness, etc. Near the end of what is basically a guided meditation when concentrating on Health, the vision that came to me wasn’t just me getting my butt out of bed and getting to the gym or walking the dog. Ho, no. It was a full-on vision of being on the bike in the Kona Ironman. I know the course, because Maria’s condo literally looks down on the course. Obviously, I fought that. I struggled with this “stupid vision” until I had a real “a-ha moment.” I remembered that “way back when” I was doing triathlons and such, I had as a goal to do “The” Ironman before I was 50. (Back then, there weren’t a plethora of Ironmans – Ironmen? – this was 20 years ago -  it was really just Kona.) Back when I had this vision, “Olympic-distance” triathlons were all considered hardbody still – and so an Ironman was just completely out in the stratosphere insane.

One of the things Tony Robbins really talks about and gets back to your forebrain is what you have “given up on” in your life. It’s upsetting, breath-taking, sob-inducing…powerful. This was a big one that I had given up as “impossible.”

As I tried to dismiss it and concentrate on something actually “attainable,” my vision was poking me in the forehead, reminding me that “before 50″ meant NOW. I’m way on the end of the 40s, and if I had as a completely crazy dream of “doing” Kona, I would have to do an Ironman “qualifying race” beforehand, AND get in in qualifying time, AND win the Kona raffle. Hmmmmmm, that means – getting my butt of the couch bigtime! I kept trying to get my mind to re-focus on, oh, say, going to the gym (even the gym PARKING LOT) 3 times a week. It kept delivering up me on the bike in the lava fields. Off the couch. In the lava fields. Off the couch. In the lava fields. Poke, Poke, Poke. It wouldn’t let go.

I remember getting back to the room that night, and telling Maria that my “get fit” goal had somehow morphed into doing the Kona Ironman and that meant I had to get going NOW. She is such a good bff. Her response? Not “oh my GOD how are you going to do that Ms. Trufflebuns?” No, it was “oh, that’s perfect! I will have cocktails for you at the end, at the apartment!” (Who loves her? ME!)

So after UPW, I was still musing on how to get this vision OUT of my head. But it kept poking me. I knew about Team In Training from various folks who had done it before, looked it up, and saw there was an IronTeam. I signed up to go to the Mill Valley introduction right after UPW so I wouldn’t chicken out. I was still not really sure I was going to do it (I mean, COME ON, I am so out of shape that small children pass me…). Until I got there.

One of the head coaches was there, Couch Doug. He was a total hard body scary hottie guy, but super patient talking to me about it, and really kind. He made me feel it was actually, possibly, “do-able.” I had another meeting in Mill Valley about 2 hours later, so I sat in the atrium of the place we met, and read through ALL the paperwork. (As a lawyer, I guess that’s part of my curse.) It included the crazy amount of $ that I would need to raise. While I was still sitting there, contemplating, Coach Doug came over again (I didn’t realize he was still there) and chatted with me about it, again. Then I called my husband, and we went through the cons (a lot of them) and the pros (me doing something I had wanted to do since way before we got together). He said that thought he wasn’t really sure it was the smartest idea – and that it would take a LOT of time away from “us” which he guards jealously, that he knew that both of us always do better with some sort of “goal.” We did the Big Sur Marathon together in 2002, and hiked the length of the French Alps together in 2004. (And stopped exercising totally together in 2006, concentrating instead on our passion for cooking and wine – bad!) So anyway, he bought in, though as I have blogged, I kept saying “Ironman” and he kept hearing “triathlon.”

When we were at Unleash the Power Within, I got a necklace, one that Tony himself wears. It is a Chinese “protection” coin and has great juju. When I went to the T Harv Eker Millionaire Mind Intensive, at the “penny exercise” (I am not giving anything up here, but if you’ve been to MMI you know what I mean), I got my penny – and actually superglued it on the back of my Chinese coin to remind me of MMI. Then, on my first run training for the Ironman (I still can’t believe I just typed that), I was out running on an old railroad track here in San Rafael, and I came across ANOTHER penny. One of the things you learn in MMI is that you want to pick up ANY $ that comes across your path – because the Universe doesn’t work in “denominations,” so if it sees that you will “stop to pick up $” it will give you more if you celebrate it. I picked up that beat-to-crap penny and did the whole “MMI happy dance thing” with it (kiss kiss kiss) – and then glued THAT to the back of my coin, too. It represents starting out on this journey of Ironman – and also following up on MMI AND UPW, both of which are combined in that one coin to me.

I’m kinda procrastinating here (gotta actually get the dog out – it’s a “free” day on the IronTeam calendar so I will hike Jake up the hill). But the last thing I have to say is to remind anyone who has been to UPW what we all promised (and if you haven’t, just stand up and repeat after me):

NOW I AM THE VOICE!

I will lead, not follow

I will believe, not doubt

I will create, not destroy

I am a force for good

I am a Leader

DEFY THE ODDS

SET A NEW STANDARD

STEP UP!!!!

You’ve all heard me talking on a couple of podcasts about our upcoming event in October with Empower180.com in their “What Women Want” Series. Sheila and my working subtitle for our part in the series is, Recession proof your relationship: How the economy is affecting you in the bedroom.

As a few of you have asked what the seminar will be about, let me give you a bit more information. Sheila and I will be addressing American’s health, relationship and financial woes with practical, realistic advice.

In today’s volatile economy, it’s not just businesses’ bank accounts that are suffering; entrepreneurs’ intimate lives are detrimentally influenced by the stresses of keeping a small business afloat. It’s all about the she-conomy and how women must balance being everything for everyone with trying to find time and space for their passions.

As you know, I’m passionate about helping women weave sensual femininity into their daily lives. My part of the evening will include a lot of rousing “body chemistry enhancing” moments – don’t be scared! If you come you will have a BLAST.

Balancepreneur Sheila Stewart, a serial entrepreneur & author of Backwards in High Heels: A Woman’s Guide to Succeeding in Business, is an expert in teaching harmony between the five life accounts (Money, Relationships, Spirituality, Health and Network). She says that a work/life balance is more crucial now than ever, given how the unexpected changes on Wall Street have affected the small business on Main Street.

Our clients have seen dramatic changes in their lives, including better health (weight loss), increased happiness (more vibrant sex life & increased energy and drive) and improved financial security (additional money flowing into their businesses).  Statistics show a direct correlation between the stresses of work and the detrimental effect it has on a couple’s relationship and intimacy level.

We hope on October 7th to give you a little taste of Sheila’s Balancepreneur program and my fEmpowerment Finishing School & Training Academy, to provide you with a no-nonsense approach to solving your – and America’s! – relationship and health issues.

Click below to get to the interview – you’ll love it!

In the podcast, you will hear me mention a non-profit that takes your undergarments and gets them to women who need them – that company is Bosom Buddy Bra Recycling. Elaine Mitchell is an amazing woman, and I think we should do anything that we can to help her with her mission! I actually wrote about both Bianca and Elaine a while back!

Finally,  here are the Tips that we talked about in the podcast. I worked on it this past weekend; just going through these simple steps can make you feel so much more relaxed about what you have, who you are, and what you can do in $ Tested Times. Don’t forget about having a Clothes Trade Party, too! I’m planning one for October!

Ten Tips to Updating your Style on a Budget

1.  Clear the closet Clutter: only keep what you love, looks fabulous and fits great.  Let go of outdated pieces they bring you and your entire wardrobe down.

2.  Examine, try on and decide on each piece: clean it up, iron, de-lint, and de-snag.   A few pristine pieces are superior to a closet full of threadbare items.

3.  Small Changes, Big Reward:  New buttons, altered fit, and the tweak of a collar or hem can dramatically change a garment.  Refreshing what you already own can be a great alternative to buying new things.

4.  Plan, Plan, Plan!: create a list after your wardrobe inventory, you’ll know exactly what you need and won’t be as tempted to spend frivolously!

5.  Upgrade with quality: upgrade your entire look with a printed skirt, a structured blouse, or a show piece jacket.

6.  Accessorize!:  an animal skin bag, a wide belt or a bright colored pump are the key to polishing your look and creating individual style.

7.  Trust your eye: Invest in superior material and a perfect fit, not name brands.

8.  Experiment with Mix and Match: Play with combining your investment pieces with your budget pieces to create new looks.

9.  Streamline your color pallet: so it is easy to create a number of great looks with only a few good pieces.

10.  Impeccable Grooming: nails, hair, and skin is essential to a polished look and only costs some extra effort!

Finally, here is Bianca’s book – If you click on the photo, it should take you right to her website! To listen to the podcast, click below, and let me know what you think!

I see the universe as a sales clerk at one of those high-end department stores you don’t see much anymore, the sort where it’s not YOU who does the browsing but the sales girl. You tell the sales girl what you want, and she goes into the back to find something that she thinks will fit the request. So, for example, if you ask the sales girl for a blue dress, she’ll go into the back, find one that she thinks will look good on you, and bring it out. You look at it, maybe try it on, and then either decide to buy it or tweak your request.

Obviously, the more specific you are, the better the sale girl’s first guess will be. If you don’t want to try on 40 different outfits before finding the one you want, you’d better be prepared to be specific the first time. The outfit you’ll get when you ask for “an elegant blue dress I can wear to a formal function with my boss” is going to be different from “an easy-to-care-for blue dress I can wear when travelling in Muslim countries,” which in turn is going to be different from “a blue dress I can wear to a summer barbeque.”

Unless you ask for a particular type of dress, you might find yourself surprised by what the sales girl brings out. If you were choosing for yourself, maybe you’d never have thought of wearing something sleeveless with a V-neck, but when you put it on, you might find that it flatters your shoulders. The sales girl has been doing this for a long time; she’s got a good eye for these things. There’s a pretty large stock in the back, so the longer you try things on and point out what you like and what you don’t, the closer she can come to finding the perfect blue dress for you.

The universe, obviously, supplies more than blue dresses. It supplies careers, spouses, children, and lifestyles. It provides vacations and houses and cars. It even provides mindsets, emotions, and dreams. But you’ve got to talk to it. How on earth is a sales girl supposed to know what you want if you sit with your arms across your chest and stare at the wall? How can she possibly choose correctly from the “back room” if you say, “Get me a job, any job?”

So think about your request for the sales-clerk universe. What do YOU want?

There is a corollary to this – you should NOT do things that you do NOT like, and/or are bad at. I recently received an email newsletter from Stephanie Frank at Success IQ University that was on this subject. The email had to do with one of her coaching clients, a “people person,” who was trying to take on blogging, Twitter, SEO’ing her website and the like. The coaching that she received was basically – STOP IT – if that is not what you love and what you are good at. If it’s something you are actually interested in, well, great. But if not – that’s what other professionals are for!

In general, we usually hire “experts” for medical consultations, financial consultations, legal consultations, and the like. But what about taking over those other parts of your life or your business that you really hate? Myself, I have a “house cleaning consultant.” Yes, that’s right – I am not crazy about scrubbing the toilet, I ‘fess up. So I have someone that comes in and does it for me. I get to spend more time doing things that I love. Things that can bring abundance into my life – financially, or just through the Joy of not having to pull on those sexy rubber gloves.

We often get in our own way as well – and then hold onto our stories about how “we are.” What you think is what you are. Change what you think – change what you are. OK, so, think about it . . . and while you’re at it, for a laugh, check this out. It’s a little over 6 minutes but it’s good all the way to the end.

I have just returned from New Orleans and a cruise to Cozumel, that I received from my MLM business, SendOutCards. I am going to be doing my next podcasts on finances – since it’s on everyone’s mind now. I will start with what I wrote about in fEmpowerment…then move on to what I learned at the lectures on the cruise.

I have to tell you – NOW is the time to get that part time/full time money through a business that is YOURS. One of the hallmarks (usually) of a Bond Girl is that she is her own boss. Hey – James Bond “works for the man” – he’s a government employee. Bond Girls usually have their own businesses!

A lot of folks have questions about network marketing…which is what I am using to currently supplement (and soon replace) the income from my law firm. I will never replace my coaching and speaking income…because I love doing it! But networking marketing is sure a wonderful way to come home to an unexpected check! My check this month is 5x the one from last month. I’ve been doing my MLM for a year, not even full time. But it’s just starting to pick up. I’m getting excited!

Anyway – CLICK HERE to take a look at this – it answers a couple of the questions I am asked a lot about multilevel marketing. Hope you enjoy!

“A study of more than five thousand individuals, conducted by Harris Interactive in cooperation with Merrill Lynch, has torn the covers off the four groups of people who make up the new economic strata in America today. They are:

We now know that the people who have achieved both financial comfort and wealth are distinctly different from those who are struggling paycheck to paycheck or sinking further into debt each month.

They are different in their attitudes, behaviors (financial and nonfinancial), personalities, and goals.

The financially comfortable and the wealthy tend to be more passionate about what they do in life, they are more optimistic, and they are more resilient—able to overcome whatever obstacles life throws their way. They are more visionary—able to see things in a slightly different and improved way, if not a new way altogether. They are more connected to others in their professional and personal lives, and they have greater confidence in those relationships, as well as in their lives overall. And they are grateful—incredibly grateful—for the good fortune life has thrown their way.

They are also more likely to come at life with a different mind-set and a different set of skills. They tend to be goal setters who figure out what they want in life and then make a plan to go after it. They are dogged workers (and often need less sleep). The comfortable and wealthy take more risks than the average person, but they listen to their own voices and those of people they trust in order to be as certain as possible that those risks are appropriate for their stage in life or work. And they are always on a quest to learn something new.

you can learn. Although some people are born with, say, more optimism, it—like every other attribute or skill on this list—can be taught.

And that is what The Difference is all about. [The] book is devoted to teaching you how to uncover your nascent talents and develop those abilities. You will discover the latest psychological and academic findings, complete exercises that are easy to incorporate into your everyday life, and read stories of people who’ve done precisely what you want to do. They’ve harnessed the power within and used it to reach the same goals you have: financial comfort and long-lasting wealth.

Go download the book right now!

Dr. Six has a great podcast, which is about Erotic Integrity. She interviews local personalities about what Erotic Integrity means to them, and how Erotic Integrity shows up in their work and in their lives. As stated by Dr. Six, “Erotic Integrity is about the humanity of sex, not the acrobatics. It’s about being true to one’s erotic self.”

I strongly recommend downloading and listening to her podcasts. Dr. Six is a fantastic person, and a wealth of information! Not only that, Sheila Kelley’s S Factor has offered anyone who listens to the podcast and mentions it to their local S Factor half off on an introductory S Factor session through 2008. I discussed how working out at S Factor really has helped me to release my “Erotic Creature,” and S Factor has generously offered the ability to any of Dr. Six and my listeners!

Here are a couple of other links that we discuss in the podcast:
Dr. Michael Roizen and Dr. Mehmet Oz’s website (put “sex” in the Search Box in the very top, blue bar to get some of the sex facts that we discuss in the podcast)

Sheri’s Ranch website link

Click below to listen to the interview:

Click on the link below, to download the cards.

Please check the note on Set 6 – my publisher and I would love to have your help, and credit you for your efforts!

Here is a link to the next set in the Bond Girl Coaching Card series. We plan to ultimately have a boxed set of all the cards for sale. But these are free for you to print out (instructions are on the printout).

My publisher and I were discussing the cards the other day, and she came up with a great idea. If you would like to send your own personally-created card/action steps from the book, we will incorporate them, and give you credit for the cards you submit when we print the boxed set. Whaddya say?

Click on the link below, to download the cards.

The picture at left is Special Agent V and her sexy James. They live in Switzerland, as you will hear, and are planning a round-the-world trip! Special Agent V asked for tips on looking Bond Girlish (not schlumpy) when living for nine months out of one suitcase. If you’re curious, she found BeABondGirl.com this way:

“I was home sick in bed for 4 days and I am a fan of James Bond (I have the whole collection on DVD ). Since I was already in bed with my laptop surfing endlessly, I was wondering what exactly the Bond Girl names were and to know if they had a character story beyond what you see in the films. I started my search and found you online. And then loaded up a podcast… and yeah, got hooked. Better than knowing a Bond Girl is to be one yourself ;-)”

Secret Agent V and I had a long-running email tail about how, and what, to pack for her trip, which I go into in abbreviated fashion on this podcast. I also had an email from – Mr. Bond himself! Yes, I did… though it might not be what you think!

Next, here is the information from “Mr. Bond” on his venture into podcasting – it is Episode 33 on the Nursing Show blog, and if you click here, it will take you to it.  Mr. Bond is interviewed on being an E.R. Nurse after being an EMT/Paramedic for over a decade (his interview is actually at the 12:30 mark). What a great podcast! It’s amazing, there are podcasts for everything…with great resources, articles and links.  This is a super one! Go Bond… Paul Bond!

Finally, this BABG podcast deals with how we Bond Girls make our money. Using Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Kiyosaki as a template, we discuss the differences between being an employee, self-employed, a business, and an investor, and how being a “real” business (versus being self-employed, which is just being an employee, with yourself as your boss, janitor, marketer, bill collector, and chief bottle washer!) can ultimately lead you to the cashflow upon which to retire.

As part of discussing cashflow and business, I talk quite a bit about network marketing and my experiences with many such companies, including my current one, SendOutCards.com. Because I really believe in networking marketing as a way to control your destiny money-wise, I am offering anyone who writes to me a copy of Beach Money by Jordan Adler. If you’d like a copy, listen to the podcast and let me send you one!

Please let me know if you would like more on wealth-building or any other topics. I will likely talk a bit more about finances, wealth creation, and the like in the next few podcasts, but my subjects are really guided by what you’d like to hear. So speak up – don’t be shy!

As I noted in the podcast, unfortunately I have lost my previous call-in line. Yes, it happens to the best of us. The New Number for Listener Feedback is 206-350-1867.  You can now reach me both on doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com (which comes to my Blackberry), or sandy [at] BeABondGirl [dot] com, my new direct email address.  Finally, you can always Comment below. I hope you enjoy this episode, and I look forward to hearing from you!

Click the red button below to listen:

This website is wa-a-ay too addictive. I’d definitely suggest adding it to your RSS Feedreader (if you don’t have one or don’t know how to do this, email me and I’ll ‘splain — it’s super easy and you will LOVE it once you get it set up). Archives include:

25 Daily Suggestions to Guide you toward the Good Life;

10 Handy Numbers for your Mobile Phone (particularly notice the FREE 411 through Google);

33 Inspirational Videos from YouTube (including the “Last Lecture,” laughter yoga, the original Hoosiers motivational speech, the Braveheart “Freedom” speech, and wow, wow, wow, SO MUCH MORE!…check this one out about an autistic guy singing the National Anthem at Disability Awareness Day in Fenway Park in Boston if you want that throat swelling/eyes tearing up moment…);

20 Things the Millionaire Next Door does NOT do (fantastic list. I cover this in my book, based on the actual book “The Millionaire Next Door” – but read this and BE HONEST – what stops you from being a millionaire? My biggest issue is #9 – impulse buying – as Erin Doland and I discussed in our podcast, this is the “Shiny! Shiny!” problem. I actually do NOT do this at the mall – it’s always at things like silent auctions for charities. I figure it’s for a good cause . . . but hello, it’s not good for my pocketbook! I just did this yesterday at one of my favorite charities in the world, Women’s Initiative for Self-Employment…just shoot me.)

Check out this site! It’s great!  Thanks again, Sallie!

The second teleconference in each month is not based upon Curriculum. It is based upon what came up for each Bond Grrl during the previous 2 weeks, as a follow on from the first session of the month and the Weekly Update. If you are following along, you have heard Session One (based on the curriculum), then read the Weekly Update (and the Testimonials), and now we are to Session Two. It deals with setting Goals and Steps for accomplishment – because the Thursday group had some issues with respect to how exactly to do just that.

Each member uses her “Bond Grrl Name,” which I have found helps women really be truthful, honest, and forthright in what she discusses with the group.

My Bond Grrls were asked to post their weekly information and questions here in Comments to share their process, but it’s been a wee bit too private for that! So as you can see, most of the information on the Blog is just from Yours Truly. I am sure that you understand. But you can certainly hear their processes during the Teleconferences.

If you have comments or questions, please call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Enjoy… click on the button below to Play. It has about six seconds of silence at the beginning, so just wait a few counts, it will come on.

As stated on their website, “PAX…is passionate about altering our society’s culture by transforming the way women relate to men. [PAX provides] extraordinary information with which women can profoundly affect their relationships with men of all ages and in all circumstances. [PAX is] dedicated to having this priceless information in the hearts and minds of one million women. [PAX intends] to accomplish this with fun, integrity, intelligence, courage and in partnership with both masculine and feminine forms of power.”  Read more about PAX’s mission by clicking here. Sounds like fEmpowerment, no?

As promised, please find the links to:

* Alison’s website
* writing to Oprah about how you felt hearing about Alison in this Podcast;
* watching Alison on Utube:
- “How Women Speak: There Is No Point!” (part 1 of 3)
- “How Women Speak: Life-Threatening Details” (part 2 of 3)
- “How Women Speak: It’s All About Flow” (part 3 of 3)

- “How Women Think: What Focus???” (part 1 of 3)
- “How Women Think: How Do You Get Her Attention?” (part 2 of 3)
- “How Women Think: Multi-Tasking During Sex?” (part 3 of 3)

- “How Women Feel: Crashing The System” (part 1 of 2)
- “How Women Feel: The Rage Monster” (part 2 of 2)

- “How to NOT Change A Man: Why Criticism Doesn’t Work”
- “How To Change A Woman: The SLIGHTEST Criticism Will Do”

 I hope you enjoy this podcast, and please let me know if there are other experts you might like to hear interviewed on our Coffee Chats.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

[display_podcast}

One issue that I did not bring up in the Weekly Update but I will likely bring up in the call on May 22nd was the “belching issue.”  A couple of the women on the call mentioned this specifically. If you have listened to the podcast, you will hear an enormous belch about 3/4 of the way through. It was while one of the Bond Grrls was speaking in the Masterminding session. (If you haven’t listened to the podcast, bet you’re going to do it now, huh? :-) ) The belch was definitely an adult – it was not one of the Bond Grrls who was attending with her baby. To me, it actually sounded like a man’s belch.

So it was one thing, or the other.  Either it was one of the Bond Grrls letting out a ripper of a belch, or one of the Bond Grrls who was on the call had her “significant other” come and belch literally in her face while she was on the call. If the first, that’s fairly easy to correct – it’s a disgusting sound, it’s unnecessary, and it’s definitely not Bond Grrl to belch like a toad on overdrive. If it was a “James” making this sound, it is either one of two things: (a) a power play, or (b) an “endearment.” In either case, the Bond Grrl has given some sort of signal in her life that this is “OK.”

We do train our men – we all know that. If we say “Oh honey that’s disgusting! (Tee hee hee)”, we are actually signalling that we are OK being treated like that. If we get angry, again, we have allowed our James to see that something “pushes our buttons,” and so he can use it as a power play against us.  Here a way to handle this.

Show no reaction at the time. (This is critical – remember, he’s trying to get you off your game.) Then, after the call, sit down very seriously and say, “James, are you really someone who belches in his woman’s ear? Is that the real you? Can you please help me to understand what you were thinking when you did that?” Then just be quiet.

He’s going to have to say whatever he “thought” – and you need to stay non-reactive. If he says “oh, I thought it was really funny,” don’t just counter with a huffy “Well I sure don’t!” Try instead “To me, it’s an inappropriate way to express yourself. Just like telling an incredibly prejudiced joke, that belch reflects upon you. Is that what you want to be remembered for?” or perhaps “When you belch in my ear when I am on an accountability call, it makes me feel disrespected. I feel embarrassed because the other women on the call can hear this. I would rather that belching is not part of our relationship repertoire.” Just do NOT go the direction of “When you belched in my ear, you disrespected me.”  Because he will say “No I didn’t,” and you’re in a fight. Always stick to how YOU feel. Do NOT get into “his body” or “his head.” You can ask what he was thinking when he did it, or what that signified to him, but when it comes to your reaction, ground it in your own feelings or you’re setting yourself for an “I did not,” “You did too” type fight. 

Whoever is the Grrl that had this happen to her has allowed this in her life. No one here is a Victim. How you are treated is a manifestation of how you have shown that you want to be treated. ‘Nuff said.

As for the call in general, it brought up some private issues that a few of the Bond Grrls wanted to work through with me on email, as their Coach. As you can see, we do not have that many Comments thusfar – those who had immediate issues decided to keep them private between coach/Bond Grrl (which I have respected, of course), and others were too crazed in their lives/schedules to learn how to Comment/post. The best part about fEmpowerment Lifestyle Training is that you show up however works best for you – so if there’s just not enough time to work the Curriculum, or something big interrupts your call-in time, then you can always “catch up” through the Weekly Updates and Recordings. 

If you have any questions, you can call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Click below to download the Weekly Update document. It is in PDF format, so you may need to obtain the Adobe Reader if you do not have it on your computer already (it is free on www.Adobe.com).

The overall theme of my book and coaching practice = live your best, most passionate life. So these are the Top 10 Tips that came to me:

1. Clean House. Declutter your life of belongings, friends, commitments, and the like that do not feed your passion and fempower your Inner Bond Girl. (Empty your glass of beer to get champagne in there!)

2. Donate. Support fellow Bond Girls in your community by allowing the items you have freed from your life to reach their “next best use” with others. (Pour your beer into another grrl’s glass with water in it!)

3. Be Congruent. Coax Your Inner Bond Girl out by matching what you wear and the way you walk, talk, laugh and listen with who you are becoming.

4. Be Present in your Luscious Body, Now. Accept, love and nurture her as she is now, and explore her fempowered nature through sensual dancing, pole dancing, or the like.

5. Be Ready. Take advantage of every adventure and opportunity that comes your way, and structure your life to facilitate it. Learn to travel light and get out of Dodge in minutes.

6. Block out non-negotiable You Time. Give yourself a minimum of 10 minutes/day to dream and move that passion forward. Join a fempowerment group to move your life to the next level.

7. Be Adventurous. Do something you’re not good at, and stretch your horizons and your sense of humor.

8. Go Lean & Green. Fempowered women are not credit card-wielding, debt-accumulating consumers; they save and invest their $

9. Flex your Femininity. Be The Girl in your personal relationship, and take the lead in nurturing it – sex included

10. Be Self-Sufficient & Appreciative. All Bond Girls run their own businesses, live in the tropical paradises that Bond drops into as a government employee on an expense account, and take care of themselves BUT, they also know that men feel good taking care of them and are sensitive to it and appreciative. (Let him open the door, or the jar, when he offers.)

What would you add? Change? Let me know!

Each of these women completed a Fast Start document that discussed her life, the energy she is putting towards her goals (or towards things that she ranks as actually unimportant)… it covers financial issues, relationship issues… the works. She filled it out as completely or as quickly as she found time for. Nothing is ever mandatory. Each woman also completed two items of Curricula. The first discussed how to turn Adversity to Opportunity; the second deals with changing languaging skills by uncovering ”Psycho-Euphoric and Psycho-Phobic” words used in your business or your daily life.

Each member uses her “Bond Grrl Name,” which I have found helps women really be truthful, honest, and forthright in what she discusses with the group.

For the next two weeks, I will be posting here the information that I would normally have in a private, password-encoded file for the group. I have also asked them to post Comments here instead of sharing their process in a private forum, so that any readers who are interested can see what a typical first two weeks entails.

The first meeting of a group is always a little different than the subsequent ones. Each meeting uses a breathing exercise as an opener, then usually discusses the Curriculum for the week, then moves on to the Mastermind sessions for 1-2 of the participants. As the ‘homework’ behind the first meeting includes not only the Fast Start documentation but also 2 items of Curricula, it is always a bit more general and less focussed than the subsequent meetings.

If you have comments or questions, please call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Enjoy… click on the button below to Play. It has a second or two of silence at the beginning, so just wait a few counts, it will come on.

I’m at this global think tank. I have no idea why they call it a think tank, it’s really just a big old lecture series. I just went to a panel on the changing face of the Muslim world. I’m obsessed with women who wear veils whether of their own volition or because of laws that make them or the culture they ascribe to or the religion they belong to. One of the panelists was this beautiful scarved woman named Dahlia. The revelation about Islamic nations was stunning and humbling and exhilarating. The details are too numerous to go into right here in the middle of the convention hall but suffice to say I sure would like to go to Saudi Arabia someday.After the panel I was standing in the room, full with about 90% men in business suits, when this vibrant woman walked up to me and told me that she was an S Factor student. Another young woman standing nearby heard “S Factor”, turned quickly and said, “I want to do that, how can I do that?” The S Factor student said, “Oh it’s incredible. It will change your life!” The young woman whispered, “I’ve heard, I cannot wait, I’m so excited to take it.” Now you have to get the image in your mind’s eye, there was almost nothing but a sea of men, just men, milling about everywhere. There was a total of maybe six women in the entire room, three of them talking about the secret world of S Factor when Dahlia, the Islamic panelist who had been talking to some guys next to us turned around and asked, “What are you talking about?” En masse the three of us turned slowly toward her and said almost in unison something to the effect of, “Oh my god…”. Then the S Factor student continued on with, “It’s the most amazing thing you could ever do for yourself as a woman…”. Seeing my chance, I dove in to explain S Factor as an “organic feminine movement class”. I didn’t bring up the words “striptease” or “poledancing” as I’ve seen them scare certain women off completely.As I move further down the road into my own “S”-ness I find that the striptease/poledancing definition just doesn’t do the “S” justice. It has all of those elements but it is so much more. When people query me now I speak of the “tease” and the “pole” in the same breathe as “natural and organic feminine movement” and “floor work”, “mat work”, and “standing and wall work”…all are elements of what comes wholesomely from a woman’s body moving into her own “S” shape.
Dahlia perked up as she listened intently and intelligently, nodding her head up and down. She was intrigued. She asked how she could take “such a class”. I invited her to visit one of our studios across the country and asked her where she lived…DC, here I come!

—————————————————–

The italics above are mine.  I’ve been doing “The S” for a little over 2 years and yes – I even have a pole in my own home. It’s been very interesting to see how “Talk about The S” has become more empowerment, and less tease/strip, over these 2 years.

I love it, because I actually came to S Factor after one of my fEmpowerment teachers (Susan Bremer/Sensual Dance For Real Women) was un-chosen for the Oprah show in favor of Sheila Kelley, years and years ago. Susan was pretty bitter about it, and “refused” to watch any of the S Factor DVDs, etc. I, of course, wanted to see what the difference might be, and bought the DVDs (back then, there was no S Factor in San Francisco, it was mainly one L.A. studio).

“The S” is sooooooooo different than your usual “striptease thang.” It was even very different than Susan’s “Sensual Dance for Real Women” – though they both come at it from the same “mindset” … That you’re doing this for yourself and your “inner erotic creature” (or Inner Bond Grrl) not for anyone else.

The biggest difference between the S and other DVDs, books, and classes I have now attended or connected as a kinda pole dance/strip tease training collector? The S is a HARD workout!  Holy cow!  The first hour is just warmup, including abs, pushups, legs, stretches, arms, you name it. Then you learn some Pole Moves (which get harder as you progress – I’m a multiple Level 6 now). Last, you just let it go, and let your “inner erotic creature” take over to a song of your choice (at higher levels – at lower levels, you are taught a “routine” that you slowly, ever so slowly, let your Erotic Creature morph her way out of).

I just love that Sheila used the words “Natural and Organic Feminine Movement.” I would also say “fEmpowered Movement.”

It’s still fun at cocktail parties or business networking functions to find a way to drop in the fact that I have a pole in my house. It’s even funnier though to realize that a lot of the things that I do, workout-wise, with my life are to get me a smidge closer to being able to actually do a “Spinning Helicopter” or a “Climb and Flip” or a “Pole Cat.”

Pole dancing is part yoga, part Pilates, part balance, part strength, and all beauty. Check out the S Factor DVDs and if you live close enough – go to an Intro at one of their studios! If you write me a Comment, I can see if I can get you a comp’d Intro class ($40 value) – no promises, but I can try! You can click to go to their website to see locations.

Soli

If you have comments on this episode, please call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail sandy [at] beabondgirl [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

Today I was catching up on Zandria’s blog, and one of her comments was on being Single, and “doing something you’re not so good at/trying something new.” I wrote about this in my book, and she has a great perspective.  

When I was single, I did sort of a “regression analysis” (hey, I’m an attorney, so sue me) on the best places to “meet guys.” I had been bashed by relationship and was “older” then (late 30s) and really liked being “in relationship” so I wanted to figure out how to get back into one without doing something insane like hitting the bar/dance club scene. What it came down to was basically NASCAR and golf as being super man-rich “environments.”

I went to NASCAR with a grrlfriend and – yikes, boring beyond ALL boredom (if you’re a NASCAR fan I apologize), and SO LOUD.  But golf, even though I am AWFUL at it, was a GREAT thing. You can just go out and hit balls at a driving range, take some beginner classes (they’re always dead cheap — they try to ‘reel you in’), go to Play It Again Sports and get a golf set for not that much… and you really DO NOT have to be good.  There is a golf course in EVERY country (even Madagascar), and going and playing there you will ALWAYS meet guys, and it’s fun. The pro shop will have clubs for you to borrow.  If you decide to be a little more “interesting,” you can get a vintage putter for example, and just bring that -that’s the club that folks will comment on. (I have one from Scotland that was made from the rudder of the Queen Mary.)

Remember – I am TERRIBLE at golf.  But so long as you don’t hold the rest of your 4-some up (just pick the ball up, and tell them you owe them a beer… they’ll love you), it’s a GREAT place to meet guys, and you can tell their actual personality right off, too. (A guy I was kinda interested in threw his CLUB when he was upset at a shot he made and it BROKE – a handmade graphite club – NO THANKS. Step a-waaaaaaaaay from the Crazy Man…)

There are also groups just for women (e.g., EWC – Executive Women’s golfing Club) nationwide, where you get together with other professional women, usually on like a Tuesday or Wednesday after work, play a round and then have a glass of wine and laugh. It’s a fantastic networking thing, too.

Remember tho – it’s a game…. :-)

 S

PS:  My husband doesn’t play golf (figures, huh?) and so I’m a little out of practice now, but it’s on my “list” to get back to. It was such a great way to meet people and it’s good exercise too, if you don’t ride a cart.

If you have comments on this episode, please do call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

Hypnotherapist Susan Bird:

If you have comments on this episode, please do call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

The article described the Native American tradition of the “potlatch.” It is a tradition that values generosity above all else.  A potlatch, which is a very grand ceremony, is an exercise in giving away material possessions, food, and money.

Apparently, it is not uncommon for the host of a potlatch to give away so much of their own resources to guests that the host ends up with nothing. However, the host can regain this wealth by attending potlatches as a guest.

 In this way, a potlatch validates generosity and encourages the flow of resources in a community, while at the same time continually reaffirming the importance of community ties.

This paragraph really made me sit up and take notice, because it reminds me of what I learned from “John Jr.” in my car ride with him, as detailed in Podcast 9 on “Living Green”:

“When we are held in a web of trust and connection, we can give generously, knowing that when it is our turn we will be supported. In this way, our whole sense of ownership becomes less individualistic and more communal. Resources are in an acceptable state of flux, moving within the community through the vehicle of the potlatch, which serves the additional function of strengthening community ties. This seems clearly preferable to isolating ourselves from one another and hoarding our resources.”

Isn’t it time to create a community in which a flow of resources happens in this way, in which we support one another to be generous?

The “Give Away Girls’ Nights” listed in my book is an example of a potlach – having fun, and giving away an object that is dear to us. By doing this, perhaps we can inspire someone there to throw their own potlatch. And so on, and so on – by starting this out, trusting, and loving, perhaps we could find ourselves with a tradition that supports and validates generosity even as it creates a safety net for leaner times.

Don’t just think about it – do it.

 I was particularly interested in some of the quotes about “planned obsolescence.” I also had to ruefully smile when Annie points out that, after 9/11, the President could have asked us to grieve, to be compassionate, to come together… instead, what he told us to do was Shop. (True!)

I’m not particularly political, but I do have a strong feeling that we’re getting to that Al-Gore-Nobel-Peace-Prize “point of no return” when it comes to our resources.  This should lead to a change in priorities… and to having a good, long look at our lifestyle. One of the things that Annie points out is that the two biggest leisure activities in the U.S. are watching TV, and shopping.  And if you’re watching TV, you’re getting exposed to commercials, which are basically telling you that “You Suck” (her words, not mine) and that you need to buy their products, to “Not Suck.”  So you go to work, or maybe work two jobs, to buy the Stuff that the advertisements say will make you Not Suck, and then you’re so exhausted when you get home, all you can do is watch TV… when tells you that You Suck (dot dot dot)

I was also very interested that the whole “planned obsolescence”/concentration on Consumerism thing started in the 1950s — which was the “peak” of our Happiness Graph as a society (it’s fallen since that time).  Gee, maybe because instead of using stuff until we’re done with it, having extra time to spend with our families, etc. we are being bombarded with advertising that says We Suck, news that says The World Sucks, and feeling that the only way for it all to be fixed is — surprise! — to buy more!

Have a look — I think it would be great to watch this with the kids, too, and be ready for some hard questions from THEM, about how YOUR household fits into this mix.

I am completing a podcast interview with Eve Abbott, the Organizer Extraordinaire from ABrainNewWayToWork.com. She sent me this link after our interview, and it really is amazing. Do set out enough time to watch it. It starts a bit slowly, but you will be totally glued to the screen at the end, waiting to hear “what happened next.”

 – Solitaire

This is the description from the hosting website:

This is an absolute must-watch. Set aside 18 minutes and prepare to be floored. Consensus among TED’sters is that this may be the most memorable and important TED Talk ever. It was certainly the most talked-about presentation among those at TED2008. Enjoy and share with others. And let Jill’s experience inspire, motivate, and change the way you look at life.  http://www.microclesia.com/?p=320   I guarantee you will be rewarded by investing 18 minutes on this video of Dr. Jill Taylor presenting at the TED conference.

I also received some Listener Feedback on our Listener Feedback line — I love it! Please call, keep me company! :-) This was from Clementine (her Bond Grrrrl name) on the Yankee portion of the East Coast somewhere. Her Mom has a GREAT method of sorting through all the bits of personal “stuff” that we all gather each year, and Clementine shared. Kudos to her and to her Mom, a Bond Grrrrrrrrrl family!

Finally, I talk a bit about bringing Ritual into your life this year. Rituals are so wonderful, and they are very much a part of the human culture. It could be thanking your teeth as you brush them, a Grace at every meal that you really pay attention to, or something of your own. If you have your own Rituals or make up one that you love, please share!

xoxoxo Solitaire

P.S.: So now, my James has to figure out how to post the Podcast. It seems highly likely (as, since you can see, we are on a new server and “such” now) that it’s not going to be pretty. I better go and shake a martini or three! :-)

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.

Oui, it is I, Solitaire, posting whilst on holiday with my James! It’s his birthday, and we’re driving down Highway 1 from San Francisco to Laguna Beach. Well, let’s say we HAVE been driving down the coast… I had great thoughts of blogging and podcasting my way down, and there has been absolutely N-O reception along the way. So, we’re here (Laguna Beach), after a bit of receptionist-wrangling (awful awful terrible dark room for our 3-day stay) and “stirring not shaking.” My James is off to get supplies (bless him) and so… here I be.

So what’s really on my mind now is Travel. I can’t get over how much easier it is to get out and about when I have my “gym bag” (with necessities) and my “makeup bag” all set to go. I took my own good advice (was that Podcast 3? Who can remind me?) and have put my contact lens fluid, conditioner, etc. in smaller bottles, and am dutifully chalking off the sides as we use them each day. I’m still working on the right bag for my makeup stuff, brushes, and the like. My dad gave me a bag for Xmas that I thought might work (because I want to use it… because he gave it to me…) and it’s just too big. Pfffft. Oh well.

Thusfar, we have stayed at an Inn in Carmel, and went to Clint Eastwood’s ranch/inn place for cocktails one evening. It was beyond a hoot. They do sort of cowboy karaoke, and most of the folks there are locals. If any of the pictures came out, I promise to burn them—oh, I mean post them. :-)

We went from there to Cambria, a WONDERFUL little town, and stayed at the J Patrick House. At their suggestion, we ate at Robin’s Restaurant — fab, fab, fab — at least we walked there so we could just roll ourselves home and spend a few calories at it.

Then we headed to Hearst Castle — a friend is the District Superintendent (read: Big Ranger Kahuna) at Hearst. He got us on a tour, and we were able to catch him between meetings. He said that Hearst was his first posting where he had to have “not one, but two tuxes.” Apparently the Governator likes to use it as his own private party spot, especially at Christmas. And who can blame him???

We met some folks at the Cambria B&B who suggested we stay at the Montecito Inn, in the “expensive part” of Santa Barbara. Lovely, lovely, though the walls were a bit thin. Amazing gym! We walked over to the Four Seasons/Biltmore Santa Barbara and had cocktails in front of their roaring fire—wow. We snuck in a “back way” so we didn’t have to come in the front door — we came in a side — and whether or not that really made a difference I don’t know.

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Click the red button below to listen.