HEY! Sheila Stewart and I were interviewed on the talk radio show Your Time With Kim on How the Economy Affects Your Sex Life. Sheila and I met a while back when we were each speaking at a gig, and then I interviewed Sheila a few podcasts back. We had so much fun, we put the show on the road!

(This is a little break back into my “real life” and away from the Trials and Tribulations of turning CouchPotatoWoman into IronWoman!)

 

 Sex and the Economy: Talk Radio Interview on "Your Time With Kim" Show: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Here she is – Ms. Sheila Stewart!

You’ve all heard me talking on a couple of podcasts about our upcoming event in October with Empower180.com in their “What Women Want” Series. Sheila and my working subtitle for our part in the series is, Recession proof your relationship: How the economy is affecting you in the bedroom.

As a few of you have asked what the seminar will be about, let me give you a bit more information. Sheila and I will be addressing American’s health, relationship and financial woes with practical, realistic advice.

In today’s volatile economy, it’s not just businesses’ bank accounts that are suffering; entrepreneurs’ intimate lives are detrimentally influenced by the stresses of keeping a small business afloat. It’s all about the she-conomy and how women must balance being everything for everyone with trying to find time and space for their passions.

As you know, I’m passionate about helping women weave sensual femininity into their daily lives. My part of the evening will include a lot of rousing “body chemistry enhancing” moments – don’t be scared! If you come you will have a BLAST.

Balancepreneur Sheila Stewart, a serial entrepreneur & author of Backwards in High Heels: A Woman’s Guide to Succeeding in Business, is an expert in teaching harmony between the five life accounts (Money, Relationships, Spirituality, Health and Network). She says that a work/life balance is more crucial now than ever, given how the unexpected changes on Wall Street have affected the small business on Main Street.

Our clients have seen dramatic changes in their lives, including better health (weight loss), increased happiness (more vibrant sex life & increased energy and drive) and improved financial security (additional money flowing into their businesses).  Statistics show a direct correlation between the stresses of work and the detrimental effect it has on a couple’s relationship and intimacy level.

We hope on October 7th to give you a little taste of Sheila’s Balancepreneur program and my fEmpowerment Finishing School & Training Academy, to provide you with a no-nonsense approach to solving your – and America’s! – relationship and health issues.

Click below to get to the interview – you’ll love it!

 

 BONUS INTERVIEW PODCAST: Coffee Chat with Balancepreneur Sheila Stewart, Author of Backwards in High Heels: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I met a self-made, multi-millionaire for drinks and dinner last night.  Chris is the owner, CEO and principal engineer for a private software company that nets 20 million dollars a year in profit.  He’s an elite businessman with a big heart.  The compassion and chivalry he shows his employees and clients is unmistakable.  He has been an idol of mine for many years.  And as we sipped wine and chatted, he carried himself with the refined composure and confidence you’d expect from a man of his stature.

Then his wife joined us.

This was the first time I met Victoria, and she was a bit different than I had envisioned.  She was beautiful, yes, but she complained about everything.  According to her, the waitress was too slow, the centerpiece on the table was ugly, and her brand new Lexus doesn’t drive as smooth as her girlfriends’ Mercedes.

Chris grew increasingly irritated with each negative comment that rolled off Victoria’s tongue.  His expression turned sour, his posture deteriorated and his cheeks blushed with frustration.  After just fifteen minutes at the dinner table with her, Chris, the man of power and prestige whom I idolize, had completely lost his poise.   

“Where’s the waitress?  This bread is stale.” Victoria huffed under her breath.

“The only stale thing I perceive is your incessant bitching!” Chris yelped.  “Will you please stop whining and just allow us to enjoy a pleasant evening for once?  For heaven’s sake!”

She gave me a wide-eyed glance, as if to say, “Do you see the crap I have to put up with?”  He gave me a similar look a moment later.  The tension between them stirred my nerves.  I wanted to excuse myself, but I didn’t want to be rude.  Needless to say, the remainder of the evening was rather uncomfortable.

My Brain Malfunctions

Chris called me this morning and gave me some ingenious advice on how to solve a contractual business dilemma I told him about last night.  He then proceeded to apologize for his behavior at the dinner table.

“The work involved in running my business comes naturally to me.  I love what I do.  I’m successful because I understand all the inputs and outputs, and I can precisely tune the production gears to acquire a set of desired results,” Chris said.

“Yeah, I’ve seen you in action,” I agreed.

He continued: “But when it comes to long-term, intimate relationships, my brain malfunctions… and I inevitably fail.”

Multidimensional Human Beings

All people, even our idols, are multidimensional human beings.  Powerful business men, polished musicians, bestselling authors, and even our own parents all have dimensions of success and dimensions of failure present in their lives.

Our successful dimensions usually encompass the things we love most.  We are successful in these dimensions because of our love, because we naturally spend the most time perfecting and nurturing what we love.

And this is the part of our lives we want others to see, the successful part that holds our life’s passion.  It’s the notion of putting our best foot forward.  It’s the public persona we envision as our personal legacy:  “The Successful ABC” or “The Award Winning XYZ.”

But behind whichever polished storyline we publically promote, there lies a multidimensional human being with a long list of unprofessed failures.  Sometimes this person is a bad husband, or fails to choose a suitable wife.  Sometimes this person laughs at the expense of others.  And sometimes this person takes their eyes off the road and rear-ends the car in front of them.

So Do We

The incident at dinner last night reminded me of this idle truth.

Our biggest idols and childhood heroes are just human… with all the flawed dimensions humans have.  And we shouldn’t feel let down when we are faced with the reality of these flaws, because they have always been there.  It’s just part of being human.

Sometimes our idols act like obnoxious, emotional, fools.

But sometimes so do we.

And sometimes they argue, cry, and fall flat on their faces.

But sometimes so do we.

You can achieve anything you put your mind to. And you deserve to, too.

There is a corollary to this – you should NOT do things that you do NOT like, and/or are bad at. I recently received an email newsletter from Stephanie Frank at Success IQ University that was on this subject. The email had to do with one of her coaching clients, a “people person,” who was trying to take on blogging, Twitter, SEO’ing her website and the like. The coaching that she received was basically – STOP IT – if that is not what you love and what you are good at. If it’s something you are actually interested in, well, great. But if not – that’s what other professionals are for!

In general, we usually hire “experts” for medical consultations, financial consultations, legal consultations, and the like. But what about taking over those other parts of your life or your business that you really hate? Myself, I have a “house cleaning consultant.” Yes, that’s right – I am not crazy about scrubbing the toilet, I ‘fess up. So I have someone that comes in and does it for me. I get to spend more time doing things that I love. Things that can bring abundance into my life – financially, or just through the Joy of not having to pull on those sexy rubber gloves.

We often get in our own way as well – and then hold onto our stories about how “we are.” What you think is what you are. Change what you think – change what you are. OK, so, think about it . . . and while you’re at it, for a laugh, check this out. It’s a little over 6 minutes but it’s good all the way to the end.

 

 Get Out Of Your Own Way - In 5 Minutes Or Fewer!: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

In this podcast, Olga Cordiero, a Certified Management Accountant and Founder of the Empowerment Coaching Academy, will discuss the misconceptions (or mythconceptions) many of us have surrounding money. Olga specifically discusses the questions of how to assess whether your Financial Advisor has your best interests at heart, and whether your home is really a good investment.

Olga has offered you a free consultation as a listener – please follow the link above, and mention that you heard about her on BeABondGirl.com!

And yes…I was going to put some fancy schmancy pictures (and at least a photograph of Olga) on this post…but for some reason WordPress isn’t letting me upload one. But I am DETERMINED to get this posted today!

 

 Interview with Olga Cordiero, Empowerment Coaching Academy: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

This podcast is a recording of the new Thursday Night Fempowerment Lifestyle Training group’s Second Session. These Grrls have agreed to have their first meetings taped and made public, to instruct those of you who are curious about the process.

The second teleconference in each month is not based upon Curriculum. It is based upon what came up for each Bond Grrl during the previous 2 weeks, as a follow on from the first session of the month and the Weekly Update. If you are following along, you have heard Session One (based on the curriculum), then read the Weekly Update (and the Testimonials), and now we are to Session Two. It deals with setting Goals and Steps for accomplishment – because the Thursday group had some issues with respect to how exactly to do just that.

Each member uses her “Bond Grrl Name,” which I have found helps women really be truthful, honest, and forthright in what she discusses with the group.

My Bond Grrls were asked to post their weekly information and questions here in Comments to share their process, but it’s been a wee bit too private for that! So as you can see, most of the information on the Blog is just from Yours Truly. I am sure that you understand. But you can certainly hear their processes during the Teleconferences.

If you have comments or questions, please call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Enjoy… click on the button below to Play. It has about six seconds of silence at the beginning, so just wait a few counts, it will come on.

 

 Fempowerment Lifestyle Training Call 2: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Here are a few comments that the Thursday Evening Bond Grrls posted to me in email:

Thanks so much for inviting me to the call.  Just the process of doing my ‘incomplete homework” is a valuable self-discovery journey for me.  I’m 100% sure I can benefit from this type of coaching program…. I can totally see how the ‘master mind” group can benefit everyone, because you get many ideas from the fresh angles…
- Peony

Dear Solitaire: Thank you for the inspiring coaching call this evening. I know that this class has jump-started my week. I can’t wait to implement what I’ve learned and get started with my action steps fueled by my renewed commitment. Thank you!
- Flexi

You’re amazing…I had no idea you were such an accomplished coach-wow! The many talents of Sandy Shepard…I thought it was a really good session…the exercise was very good too.
-Hot Mama

Great job. Thanks so much for featuring me…. I love the idea regarding the levels of ‘membership’ for my “Bod Pod”/CDs. I need to hook up with you to get my forms back and give you the financial ones. [After I did the Fast Start exercise,] it turns out that I’m making about $15 bucks an hour.. yikes! All in all a FABULOUS FIRST OUTING. You [freaking] ROCK.
-Arielle

Thanks for the call last night. I left feeling very “green/blue” (my color) so I was in a good place…. I thought you did an incredible job of summarizing the contents of our homework and remembering bits from all of us (even mine). I was also struck by the fact that I’m sure I would LOVE the other Bond Grrls on the call (as friends) and that we probably had a lot in common. I thought about the fact (you brought this up) that we all felt we had accomplished a lot in our lives [and] I know I feel I kind of “fell into it” and didn’t really have much say in how my career developed. I know SOME of it I directed but think maybe we don’t give ourselves enough credit for being in the right place for accomplishing what we have. For example: my [international career] experience was great but looking back, I realize that not every 26 year old would raise her hand to relocate to a new country, so I should give myself more credit!
- MO

I had a lot of fun with the coaching call.  Those that subscribe will gain a lot with your help.
- Mica

This post carries on from the Podcast of our first fEmpowerment Lifestyle Training call on May 8th with my “Thursday Evening Bond Grrrrls.” Each member has agreed to let the process be open on this Blog, so that others can see what fEmpowerment Coaching is all about.

One issue that I did not bring up in the Weekly Update but I will likely bring up in the call on May 22nd was the “belching issue.”  A couple of the women on the call mentioned this specifically. If you have listened to the podcast, you will hear an enormous belch about 3/4 of the way through. It was while one of the Bond Grrls was speaking in the Masterminding session. (If you haven’t listened to the podcast, bet you’re going to do it now, huh? :-) ) The belch was definitely an adult – it was not one of the Bond Grrls who was attending with her baby. To me, it actually sounded like a man’s belch.

So it was one thing, or the other.  Either it was one of the Bond Grrls letting out a ripper of a belch, or one of the Bond Grrls who was on the call had her “significant other” come and belch literally in her face while she was on the call. If the first, that’s fairly easy to correct – it’s a disgusting sound, it’s unnecessary, and it’s definitely not Bond Grrl to belch like a toad on overdrive. If it was a “James” making this sound, it is either one of two things: (a) a power play, or (b) an “endearment.” In either case, the Bond Grrl has given some sort of signal in her life that this is “OK.”

We do train our men – we all know that. If we say “Oh honey that’s disgusting! (Tee hee hee)”, we are actually signalling that we are OK being treated like that. If we get angry, again, we have allowed our James to see that something “pushes our buttons,” and so he can use it as a power play against us.  Here a way to handle this.

Show no reaction at the time. (This is critical – remember, he’s trying to get you off your game.) Then, after the call, sit down very seriously and say, “James, are you really someone who belches in his woman’s ear? Is that the real you? Can you please help me to understand what you were thinking when you did that?” Then just be quiet.

He’s going to have to say whatever he “thought” – and you need to stay non-reactive. If he says “oh, I thought it was really funny,” don’t just counter with a huffy “Well I sure don’t!” Try instead “To me, it’s an inappropriate way to express yourself. Just like telling an incredibly prejudiced joke, that belch reflects upon you. Is that what you want to be remembered for?” or perhaps “When you belch in my ear when I am on an accountability call, it makes me feel disrespected. I feel embarrassed because the other women on the call can hear this. I would rather that belching is not part of our relationship repertoire.” Just do NOT go the direction of “When you belched in my ear, you disrespected me.”  Because he will say “No I didn’t,” and you’re in a fight. Always stick to how YOU feel. Do NOT get into “his body” or “his head.” You can ask what he was thinking when he did it, or what that signified to him, but when it comes to your reaction, ground it in your own feelings or you’re setting yourself for an “I did not,” “You did too” type fight. 

Whoever is the Grrl that had this happen to her has allowed this in her life. No one here is a Victim. How you are treated is a manifestation of how you have shown that you want to be treated. ‘Nuff said.

As for the call in general, it brought up some private issues that a few of the Bond Grrls wanted to work through with me on email, as their Coach. As you can see, we do not have that many Comments thusfar – those who had immediate issues decided to keep them private between coach/Bond Grrl (which I have respected, of course), and others were too crazed in their lives/schedules to learn how to Comment/post. The best part about fEmpowerment Lifestyle Training is that you show up however works best for you – so if there’s just not enough time to work the Curriculum, or something big interrupts your call-in time, then you can always “catch up” through the Weekly Updates and Recordings. 

If you have any questions, you can call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Click below to download the Weekly Update document. It is in PDF format, so you may need to obtain the Adobe Reader if you do not have it on your computer already (it is free on www.Adobe.com).

 Fempowerment Lifestyle Training Weekly Update 5/15/08: Download

I have received many emails and queries from Bond-Girls-To-Be regarding what fEmpowerment Lifestyle Training “is like.” This podcast is a recording of the first meeting of a new Thursday Night group. These Grrls have agreed to have their first two meetings taped and made public, to instruct those of you who are curious about the process.

Each of these women completed a Fast Start document that discussed her life, the energy she is putting towards her goals (or towards things that she ranks as actually unimportant)… it covers financial issues, relationship issues… the works. She filled it out as completely or as quickly as she found time for. Nothing is ever mandatory. Each woman also completed two items of Curricula. The first discussed how to turn Adversity to Opportunity; the second deals with changing languaging skills by uncovering ”Psycho-Euphoric and Psycho-Phobic” words used in your business or your daily life.

Each member uses her “Bond Grrl Name,” which I have found helps women really be truthful, honest, and forthright in what she discusses with the group.

For the next two weeks, I will be posting here the information that I would normally have in a private, password-encoded file for the group. I have also asked them to post Comments here instead of sharing their process in a private forum, so that any readers who are interested can see what a typical first two weeks entails.

The first meeting of a group is always a little different than the subsequent ones. Each meeting uses a breathing exercise as an opener, then usually discusses the Curriculum for the week, then moves on to the Mastermind sessions for 1-2 of the participants. As the ‘homework’ behind the first meeting includes not only the Fast Start documentation but also 2 items of Curricula, it is always a bit more general and less focussed than the subsequent meetings.

If you have comments or questions, please call my private line at +1 (206) 350-3537, or e-mail me at doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com. You can also leave a Comment below.

Enjoy… click on the button below to Play. It has a second or two of silence at the beginning, so just wait a few counts, it will come on.

 

 Fempowerment Lifestyle Training Call 1 [56:21m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Hey Ya’ll:

I am having more and more fun with Send Out Cards. This is the best business builder I think I have ever had.

I have set it up so that you can have a free gift account if you sign into:

www.sendoutcards.com/fempowerment

When you click through on the banner, you need to put in a User Name and a Password. I will give it to you if you write to me at DoubleOhSandy[at]yahoo[dot]com. Yes, what this means is that I am going to pay for you to send out a few cards, to see how it works.

I can also walk you through the templates, so you understand how it works. Wow, I’m finding something new every day!

More in a bit — I’m uploading photos that I took during the View From The Bay shoot, and sending them with little funny “taglines” to the camera man, Lisa Quinn, and the like. Did I say I was having fun???

xxoxoxox Solitaire

I have decided to post my first 2008 fEmpowerment Accountability Teleseminar, since many of you have been curious about what having me as your coach might be like. Cindi Dawson acted as my “Assistant Coach” on the teleseminar, and we had as much fun as we do in our coaching calls!

If you have comments on this episode, call the Listener Comment Voicemail at +1 (206) 350-3537, e-mail doubleohsandy [at] yahoo [dot] com or leave a comment below.

Enjoy… click on the button below to Play. It has a second or two of silence at the beginning, so just wait a few counts, it will come on.

 

 fEmpowerment Coaching Teleseminar 1: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download