Check out this link:

http://www.ewomennetwork.com/conf2009/index.html

Can you find me? It’s just a for a second, but I am REALLY laughing. Clue: I’m wearing orange (how unusual).

S

Feisty found this great website – check it out, VERY Bond Girl! The gal who is running this has decided to wear the same “little black dress” every day for the year (7 identical dresses, rather, for laundry purposes), and accessorize it differently every day.

Check it out!  The Uniform Project.

…I am a huge HUGE hunk of blue cheese, baguette, bell pepper, tomatoes, meatballs, and a couple glasses of wine.

Sounds pretty good, eh? The problem is – this is what I ate when I returned home from a FABOO workshop (more on that in a second) – at 11:00 last night! And then SLEPT on it!

AND I had dinner, too, at a more “regular time.” So why did I eat this? Because my darlin’ husband was sitting on the couch, watching a new TV show (Warehouse 13, something like that) eating it, and it looked good. Noooo I was not “hungry.”

We’re not talkin’ a taste. We are talkin’ serious blue cheese hunkage.

Now that I signed up to be a BeachBody coach, I am being way more conscientous about getting out and doing SOMETHING to move my body every day (even if it’s walking the dog, instead of just “letting him outside”). I even did an “accountability partnership thang” with Sheila Stewart last night after her chat at Empower180 – we both have, as she lovingly put it, “pork chops” on our sides, and so we’re going to text each other to get movin’.

See, the thing is though, this just doesn’t keep me away from the food. Even when we were on that yoga retreat in Peru…my hubby is like James Bond in From Russia With Love. Remember the suitcase full of caviar, champagne, etc. that he snuck into the “Health Spa”? That’s my “James”! We went “over the wall” – dining on wine, beef, alpaca, cuy, you name it, while everyone else was having vegetarian. Yeah, bad. just SO BAD. Then we would sleep IN and not do the yoga in the morning…!!!

I start out really well in the mornings. I usually have a cup of Creme Caramel tea with a little stevia, and a Shakeology shake. The “Creme Caramel” tea is one of those Lipton teas that if you add a tiny bit of stevia (which doesn’t increase your insulin), tastes GREAT and has no calories. I have a sweet tooth, what can I say (heck, I have a FOOD tooth!), and I love starting my day out with one of these, especially if I can sip it when out walking the dog.

For lunch, I’m usually good too! I might have a snack in between breakfast and lunch of a chicken leg – then lunch a big salad, something like that. THEN….3:00 happens.

I turn into like Solitaire Jekyl. I will eat ANYTHING that’s in my way. And I don’t care. I have the “good Soli” in the back of my head saying “hello, get your HAND OUT OF THE CHOCOLATE CHIPS and WHAT are you doing with a glass of wine?” – but I don’t listen to her. I’m sure there is some chemical reason – brain dip, serotonin dip, avocado dip…whatever. I’m sure I should do something like work out at 3:00. But Evil Soli takes over and it’s OVER! I’m watching Bones reruns on TV and snacking on whatever I can find. Then I make dinner for my James, snacking all the while, and eat that, too!

Mind you, there isn’t that much “bad stuff” left in the house (the Evil Girl Scout Cookies and chocolate chips are gone now) - but my hubby loves to bring home things like baguettes and cheese. Somehow, he has no problem taking a small slice of cheese, and then a slice of bread, and munching on that, and calling it a day. Me? I’m like a freakin’ wolverine, I just wallow in the stuff. Bad ferret. Bad.

My brain says that I am working so hard on all other stuff – NOT spending $, 3 businesses, coaching, relationship, etc. – that it just doesn’t want to “deal with” this issue “too.” I have made a “deal” with my brain (scary how that happens, innit?) – that if I keep working out every day (yes, walking the dog counts as working out, because I wasn’t doing it before), I won’t bother it right now about the food rampages. Working out every day AND getting onto a more even keel foodwise makes my little brain stamp its tiny little feet in tantrum.

But I DO KNOW that the reason I don’t really want to work out – the reason that it’s hard for me to even walk uphill with the dog without huffing and puffing – is BECAUSE I’m doing things like eating hunks of Stilton on baguettes and drinking red wine and then going to bed right afterwards. I’m lucky I don’t wake up with a cheese-shaped hunk sticking out of my thigh. I DO KNOW that’s why I feel like crap. I do. I do.

And I can type this feeling all virtuous because it’s 9:00, I have done my walk, I have 2 hours of pole dancing class in an hour, and I have had tea and my Shakeology and feel TOTALLY FINE. My will power is HIGH.

Just waitin’ on 3:00…!!!

Yeah, ok, so FINE. I “admitted it.”

When we were on the 2nd 1/2 of our trip in Peru (you can see the photos at www.facebook.com/fempowerment), we were travelling with a group. In the group was a guy who works out constantly. He couldn’t BELIEVE that there just wasn’t SOMETHING that I LOVED to do with my body. Now, granted, this was a yoga-related retreat. Unfortunately as H got very very sick, I wound up doing yoga 4 times – out of about the 16 I “should have.” (Hard to get up at 6:00 in the morning when you’ve been kept awake all night by coughing and worrying about your husband.)

So, I tried to ‘splain (Lucy) that when I was a kid, working out or being outside or “playing” was pretty low on my priority list. No one seems to believe this. I remember being at another “women’s retreat” in Mexico, where we were all supposed to “release our inner child” – and to be true to my “inner child,” when all the gals were leaping and throwing water on each other and giggling and playing on swings, I read a book. They thought I was odd, and not “getting into the spirit,” and all sorts of negative things.

But see, this IS what I was like as a kid. Once I reached college, there was a wonderful gal in my dorm. Her name was Susan Lundin. Everyone loved her, and she was a wonderful, genuine gal. She played beach volleyball, a sunny disposition, and I adored her. So I decided to “become” her.

That sounds a bit odd – but I had NO IDEA really how to “be” a person like that. So I did what Susan did. It was a turning point in my life. If you “know me now,” then you really know Sandy-as-Susan. Because Sandy-as-Sandy – the girl who would rather lie in bed and read books than interact, go outside, “play games” – was put to bed my freshman year at UCSD.

But she’s still in there. Here I am, quite SERIOUSLY overweight for me. I’m nearly 180. That’s a huge freak-out, because my “comfortable weight” is 145. That sounds like nothing when you know how tall I am – but I am VERY “slight” of build. My wrist isn’t even 4″ around (that’s how they “tell”). And I have really packed the pounds on, let me tell you – it’s definitely not “water weight.”

So, I’m on the Beach Body plan (and have signed up to be a coach – heck, I need one, why not BE one)? I got out this morning to walk the dog…and YES, I really DO like to walk the dog in the morning. Not one of these ‘fast walks’ like H does when we walk – where I’m out of breath and cross to be outside. No, a dog-sniffing-the-flowers saunter for an hour. OK, so, fine, it’s not a “workout.” But see, that’s the problem here.

When I was a kid, I would do ANYTHING – and I mean ANY-THING – to get out of gym. I wound up getting very good at music, because IF you were very good at music in grade school you could ultimately play (and tour) with the grammar school/high school “band.” (If you can call recorders, handbells, etc. a “band” – hey, what can I say, this was the Dominicans.) I kissed up to teachers who I knew would have other things for me to do when, say, GYM was on. I’m lucky I learned to swim at all, frankly…and when I “had to” go to gym class, I was always picked last – because I didn’t have a lot of friends who would “call me over,” but also because people were so shocked to see me there, they weren’t “used to” me being on ANY team.

My stalking-of-Susan-Lundin changed all that. I actually took up fencing and karate as a freshman, because they were the only sports that someone like me (tall, left handed, coordinated but with NO history of gym) could even feel comfortable trying. Interestingly, I made Varsity my first year in fencing – and we even made it to the NCAA finals. I didn’t really like working out that much – though I did feel better not being out of breath – but heck, if that’s what Susan did, that’s what I was going to do, too.

So here I am, a girl-who-doesn’t-like-to-workout-and-who-used-to-have-a-roaring-metabolism, in a body 35 pounds too heavy. It feels weird. I’m upset that I can’t keep my mouth shut when ANYTHING I happen to like rolls around – a remnant from a voracious metabolism. My metabolism started slowing when I was in my 30s, but “back then” I was doing crazy things like marathons, triathlons (even training folks for triathlons)…HOW did I get my mind around doing that?? I really have no idea.

But here I am. I hate working out – and I know I “gotta.” But being a BeachBody Coach, I have read a number of the other Coaches’ bios, etc. – and they are all so RA RA RA we LOVE working out we are SO FIT come and JOIN us! And I just wanted to have a little, private rant here that NO, I am not like them. But I am a coach anyway. And I’m going to coach me, and if you want me to coach you (it’s free – www.BestLifestyleNow.com) I can do that. Maybe some of you are like me – lived a bit too much of the “good life,” KNOW that you need to get your groove on, but would really rather just read a book or, oh, have some more champagne :-) I would say I would be the coach for you, if so.

I’m gearing myself up to do a workout now – probably around noon. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Hey!

Thank you thank you thank you to all of you who wrote based on my last posting. I LOVE YOU! I’m still getting over my Peru “bug,” but Cipro seems to be hittin’ it, so I am anticipating being my own happy healthy (hippy…) self by Monday. Today I even got away from the house (read: potty) and walked the dog for 1/2 hour up the hills. Yay, me! (Yay, Cipro!)

So, H and I were sitting down to breakfast about 20 minutes ago, and I thought I heard a timid knock on the door. Jake didn’t even bark – that’s how soft it was. But H went to go check to see there really was “no one there” – and found a guy on our doorstep.

We often hire guys to help with the various projects that H has going on – gardening, decks, clearing, you name it. As you can imagine, these guys have been hit just like the rest of us…in fact, yesterday we drove past where they generally pick up work (about 10 miles away from us), and there were more people there than we had ever seen…and even some white guys. (Not being prejudiced here – it’s just a fact. The fact there are white guys there waiting for pick up $10-an-hour work means that they aren’t working at some construction job that they usually would be.)

ANYWAY, so this guy had worked for H a couple of times, and realized that he was pretty sure he could find our house. We are way up in a canyon and down and up some serious hills. This guy rode his bike there – a little over 10 miles each way – to timidly knock on our door.

Just yesterday, H said he’s going to hire a couple of guys tomorrow to help him with some clearing for a new deck addition he’s planning. When he came back to the breakfast table to tell me about the guy, I asked if he told him to come back tomorrow (since I knew that H wasn’t planning to do work today).

And this is the good part – he said “NO, I had him stay – AND I will have him come back tomorrow.”

H doesn’t really have much for him to do today – but because of this guy’s enterprising spirit, he’s going to “make” at least 1/2 day, maybe more, of work for him. He’s also going to go speak with our neighbors to see if they can use him to make it a full day.

How many of you are ‘standing on the street corner,’ waiting for work to come to you the way that it always did? It’s time to get on your bikes, and ride up the valley, up and over the hills, and timidly knock on some doors. Your spirit will be rewarded.

So, I have had a few “pokes” and emails wondering where I have been! First of all, we just returned from a month in Peru – yes, practicing all those Chapter 1 Bond Girl packing skills! The plan is to post the photos on my facebook page which is www.facebook.com/fempowerment – I have sorted them out, now just figuring out how to get them off H’s laptop and onto Facebook. I’ve never been the most technical of grrls!

And why so little blogging? Twitter. I admit it. I have started Tweeting, and it’s so easy, that I have become a slacker here. Mea maxima culpa. I’m fempowerment on Twitter – so if you’re there, say HEY, I’d love to hear from you!

Lots of stuff going on since I last posted (besides the Peru trip). I’ve finally reached the highest total weight I have ever been in my LIFE – by pounds and pounds. How’d it happen? Stress, mainly. I’m a stress eater (and wine drinker). Money stress, trip stress, time stress, managing 3 businesses AND trying to do the work at the same time…you know the drill. I wish I was a stress RUNNER, but even as a kid, I was never much for exercise. We were raised that studying/books/reading/etc. were GOOD, and exercise was just something that you did in between. My folks are both VERY active – so what happens when you have a kid that isn’t attracted to exercise naturally??

I was lucky to have a great metabolism when I was younger (growing to be over 6′ probably helped!) Then when an adult, I found out I was fairly coordinated for a gal who never really had gym as a kid (thanks, private school), so I became part of the UC varsity fencing and karate teams. I luckily kept working out, finding usually karate dojos to join as I moved around the country, and then for a time my friend Leslie and I decided to do triathlons – which we did. I guess that once you get the rock rolling, it keeps rolling.

I was in the greatest shape of my LIFE for our wedding back in 2006. I was HOT HOT HOT! Unfortunately, we went on a 6 week honeymoon that incorporated a lot of driving, riding on barges, and eating, drinking, eating and drinking! Then I moved into a completely sedentary, high-stress job for nearly a year…rescued by my publisher telling me I HAD TO GET THE BOOK FINISHED (and H agreeing to pay me to stay home and do it – how’s THAT for a great husband?)

I just never really got back in the workout “groove.” My life had been completely taken over by working out to get into that tiny tiny wedding dress (I wore my mom’s – I’m 6’2″ she’s 5’7″ – don’t even ask!) I am now 35 lbs heavier than I was back then – and it’s some SERIOUS weight, the nasty kind – the kind that makes you look at clothes in your closet and say “WHAT? Who’s closet IS This?”

I don’t like being fat (no one does, I know). But it’s tough to get the rock “rolling” again. I have recently signed up to be a BeachBody coach (you can check it out at www.BestLifeStyleNow.com if you want) – and hope that this will help me get back in the groove. BeachBody has some great workout stuff – I already had a number of the DVDs – and this gives me a “Community” to report back into.

Interestingly, I came back from Peru and got an intestinal bug…I hope it’s not a “real” bug as in creepy crawly (my dad brought this possibility up – uck). Even with that, I am serious fat-packed at that 30+ extra pounds. I’m trying not to hate myself for being so “weak” – and I want it all to fall off like TOMORROW. Yeah yeah, where’s that magic wand???

Before we left for Peru, one of my best grrls Tweeted me – I was saying something about not fitting into the clothes that I wanted to bring (small wonder, last time we travelled I was at least 12 lbs less booty), and she wrote back basically “Yeah you’re fat but you’re happy, you have a great life and a man who loves you” blah blah. Of course what do I read? the “yeah you’re fat” part. (She didn’t really say that, but I think it was something like “Yeah, well, you have some to lose” or “Yeah, well, sure you’ve put on some pounds” or something.) This is a gal where we used to be mistaken for twins all the time – no issue now. And she just had a baby.

So, I’m here blogging, because I feel bad that I haven’t – and I thought I’d let ya’ll know that when you’re in the depths of whatever-it-is, we all get there. My publisher wants me to do a workbook based on my book – which I want to do, but right now, I can’t concentrate on that. Then again, my thought is to work THROUGH my book just like a newbie reader would – maybe that would help me with the workbook!

I’m off to a Tony Robbins 4-day “thang” end of this month, then the Dallas eWomenNetwork convention for 4, and all that jazz. I am meeting a friend in Dallas who has become my BeachBody coach – and I need to look hot by then! At least – hotter than THIS. So I’m working out…I’m on Day 2, but at least I got up this morning.

Peace, out!